Among Enemies
by magicmania87
Summary: Kiana Karn's affection for Harry Potter is tested when Dumbledore requests her to become one of Voldemort's Death Eaters. As Kiana battles to gain Voldemort's favor, she risks losing the respect of the boy she had begun to love.
1. The Dueling Contest

**_Among Enemies_**

**Chapter One: The Dueling Contest**

The dream was always the same: the black nothingness of night, the icy breath on her neck, and the hiss of a heartless voice whispering in her ear. The more days she spent at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the more vivid the dream became.

There was no other word to describe the creature that clutched her arm, hissed in her ear, and sent chills through her heart. If he wasn't a demon, then he was the devil himself. No other spirit could create such depression in her mind or unbearable coldness in her heart. She was dead in his grasp, and it terrified her when the same vision appeared night after night. Soon it carried with her through the day, making it difficult to concentrate on her schoolwork.

She tried to tell herself that it was simply a vivid nightmare. She didn't believe in forewarnings or omens or anything of that nature. Only in dark fiction novels did those things appear.

But she was forced to dispose of all previous beliefs one night when she comprehended the words the demon was speaking to her:

_"Why are you running from your destiny, girl? Your stubborn nature refuses to believe the truth I speak in your ear night after night. You are here for a reason, girl, and when the day comes when I claim you, you will have no choice but to run toward me and collapse at my feet. I am the only thing that matters now. I AM your future!" _

Kiana Karn awoke with a start, clutching her hand to her racing heart. She closed her eyes and concentrated on slowing her breaths. When she was finally able to dispel the chilling gloom of the dream, Kiana turned in her bed and studied her fellow Hufflepuffs with intensity. She squinted in the darkness to study their forms, anxious to know if anyone had sensed her anxiety or – even less likely – experienced the same nightmare.

Kiana was somewhat disappointed when she listened to all four of her roommates breathing deeply and soundly. No one except her had been haunted by the vision-like dream. It had come from her mind alone.

To settle her mind, she closed it off, consciously trying to not think of anything as she lay back against her pillows. She had become accomplished at this from years of practice (she had been suffering from anxiety for most of her life and had trained herself in ways to fight it). Her dutiful practice, however, was broken that night as she subconsciously read the tiny numbers on her watch, which still lingered on her wrist.

It was 1:30 a.m.

"Shit!" she gasped, bolting upright and instantly throwing her yellow bedcovers aside. In her panic, she made more noise getting out of bed than she intended, and the girl to her right, Hannah Abbott, murmured sleepily and rolled over onto her side.

Kiana instinctively froze, holding her left shoe in midair as she waited anxiously for Hannah to either wake up or continue sleeping. Luckily, her soft breathing continued, so Kiana slipped her shoes on with haste and, grabbing her wand from her bedside, dashed out of her dormitory.

Fresh anxiety crept slowly into her mind, causing her stomach to tighten sickeningly. Kiana Karn had only been at Hogwarts for a few weeks, but somehow she had already found herself wrapped up in the secret activities run by the students. This particular activity – a dueling contest of some sort – had started off small and broadened to include quite a few students from three of the four Houses (Slytherin, of course, being that one House left out. Slytherins didn't often engage with students from the other Houses). Kiana didn't know how many kids she'd encounter when she arrived in the small, vacant classroom in the dungeons, but she hoped the amount didn't overwhelm her.

As Kiana turned a corner and rushed down the staircase to the dungeons, she knew she should be grateful for this opportunity to meet more students at Hogwarts. She had transferred to the British wizarding school that year with a few friends (all siblings) once some vacant spots had opened up for foreigners. Kiana, knowing a decent amount about the renowned wizarding school in the U.K., was thankful to have gotten to Hogwarts at all so late in her schooling.

All her apprehensions about beginning a new school vanished when she had met Hermione Granger, a fellow sixth year who had welcomed her with open arms and even assisted her in a few subjects she struggled with. It was Hermione who had invited her to the dueling contest that night, and Kiana had quickly accepted her kind offer. Despite her fears about showing her dueling skills to a room full of mostly strangers, Kiana knew that, if she ever wanted to get out of her American clique, she needed to involve herself more.

And it all started that night.

"Kiana! You made it!"

Kiana had hardly begun to survey the crowded classroom before she was swept up in a tight embrace. Hermione Granger pulled back and beamed through her bushy brown hair. "I have so many people to introduce you to. Come on!"

Kiana's head buzzed as she met face after new face, most of them Gryffindors like Hermione. She met round-faced Neville Longbottom, extroverted Seamus Finnigan, and a few others Hermione mentioned too quickly for Kiana to remember their names. Hermione did, however, halt in their tour around the room when she came to Ronald Weasley, Hermione's best friend since first year.

"Pleasure," Ron grinned as he shook her hand. "Hogwarts treating you well so far? It must be scary to come so late in your schooling."

Kiana found her nerves calming as she picked up Ron's relaxed demeanor. "Not too bad, though it's hard to find new friends when all the cliques have already been formed. A few stares here and there…"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Don't worry about gossip, Kiana; we're not used to getting too many foreigners here. Some may seem unkind, but most of them are enjoyable if you don't count the Slytherins."

"Yeah, a friendly handshake to a Slytherin may just be the last thing you do," Ron added. "Unless you can duel properly."

"I guess that's why I'm here," Kiana said with a shrug. "I just hope I don't get paired up with a seventh year who has mastered the secret art of dueling. I may find half my brain missing within the first two seconds."

"Excellent optimism, Kiana; that's the reason we followed you to this one-of-a-kind experience."

Kiana spun around to find her two best friends from America, Michelle and Jennifer Simonson, standing behind her with almost identical grins. Kiana couldn't help but smile back, though their sudden appearance had created a painful jolt in her chest.

The girls, although sisters, were never mistaken for twins. Although both had the same dark brown hair, Michelle's was straight and thin down her back, while Jenny's curls were her trademark. Jenny was also two inches shorter than her sister, being the younger one and in fifth year. She was in Hufflepuff with Kiana, while Michelle had been sorted into Gryffindor.

Hermione, slightly familiar with the sisters, greeted them and quickly introduced them to her friends in Gryffindor. Kiana zoned out for a moment, studying the other faces in the room. There weren't as many gathered as she had thought; she counted about twenty. She was only brought back to the current happenings when she heard Michelle's voice beside her.

"So, where is this infamous Harry Potter we've heard so much about?"

Kiana, slightly startled to hear the name, whipped around to face her friend and studied her with a teasing smile. "You're so typical," she told her playfully. "You still mix up your worlds of fiction versus reality."

Her words, surprisingly, caused a few pairs of Gryffindor eyes to rest on her. There was a tense silence where Kiana's smile faded and she stared back quizzically. "What did I say? Don't be so surprised that I actually picked up a mythology book in Hogwarts' library and read it - I found Harry Potter's tale to be intriguing. I couldn't remember what century he was supposed to have lived in, though. You must remember, Michelle, since you brought him up?"

The faces who continued to gawk at her now looked almost embarrassed. Ron smirked a little, mumbling something as he turned away. Hermione swallowed hard, her face flushing, and mumbled something to Michelle at her side. Michelle frowned and replied with her hand over her mouth to keep Kiana from listening in.

Finally, Kiana could stand the strange silence no longer. "Okay, what the hell is going on? I could hardly have gotten my facts messed up…unless Harry Potter was a more recent hero. I guess I enjoyed placing him in medieval times in my mind; perhaps slaying a dragon or something…"

"This shows how often she's read _The Daily Prophet_, for one thing," Seamus said aloud with a chuckle.

Kiana's brow furrowed in anger, and she was about to speak aloud some not-so-dignified words when the classroom door opened and two tall boys walked in. One was wearing Hufflepuff robes and Kiana recognized him almost instantly as Ernie Macmillan, but the other boy – a Gryffindor with messy black hair and glasses – she didn't recognize.

While Ernie went to find another gathering group of Hufflepuffs, the Gryffindor boy stopped in his tracks and laid eyes on the pack of Gryffindors beside Kiana. His face went blank and his dazzling green eyes darted from person to person, finally to rest on Kiana's face.

The sudden, intense gaze of the strange boy upturned her stomach, and, feeling the blood rush to her face, Kiana ducked her head and pulled Jenny aside.

"Will _you _tell me what's happening?" she hissed to her friend, a sudden flash of anger filling her words. "Why does it seem like I'm suddenly the subject of some uncomfortable joke?"

Jenny looked like she was trying hard not to laugh. She was, after all, the comical one of the group. "Kiana, _that's _Harry Potter."

Kiana's frown deepened and she shook her head in frustration. "This is one of the worst times for your jokes, Jennifer! I thought I told you…"

Jenny was shaking her head, too, but hers was one of apparent disbelief. "Kiana, you most likely read about Harry Potter in a _history _book, not a mythology book! He's in sixth year, too, and is apparently 'The Chosen One' if I'm quoting the _Prophet_ correctly. Are you really so out of the loop that you didn't realize he went to school with us?"

Dazed and speechless, Kiana purposefully kept her wide-eyed gaze on Jenny so that she didn't have to see whose eyes were locked on her from behind. She had the terrible suspicion that the full-bodied, live version of her mythological hero was staring at her with concern for her mental health.

To her infinite relief, a seventh year separated himself from the crowd and announced that the dueling contest would begin. He explained the instructions in a blur of rushed words, and Kiana had to concentrate hard to understand the rules. She heard something about several pairs all dueling at once during three rounds, then the winners dueling the winners until only two people remained.

As the room suddenly erupted in a bubble of voices and movement to pick who would compete in which numbered round, Kiana felt extreme nausea hit her like a brick. She staggered, holding a hand to her throbbing hand.

"Kiana, you can't back out now!" Jenny whispered to her, translating Kiana's scenario with one glance. "You're the best dueler among us; this is your chance to impress everyone!"

"Fine," Kiana muttered, grinding her teeth together as the seventh year announcer from before placed Jenny and Kiana together in round two. "But I'm going to act slowly and then you'll hit me before…"

"No way!" Jenny interrupted, aghast. "You _will _be in this contest, Kiana, and you _will _try your best! I refuse to be your friend the rest of the year if you embarrass me tonight."

"Harsh terms," Kiana snapped back, but Jenny ignored her as she watched the first round of dueling pairs take their places. Kiana sighed and copied her, noticing Hermione and Ron standing opposite each other in the two rows of duelers. She almost smirked, for she knew only too well how quick Hermione's reflexes were. Kiana, herself, had been caught at the receiving end of Hermione's unpleasant jinxes and felt intense sympathy for her friend Ron.

Sure enough, Ron had been blasted to the floor within the first seconds of the round. Hermione looked pleased but not overly enthusiastic at her victory. Ron was grumbling as he wiped the dust off his behind and did not meet Hermione's eye for quite awhile.

When round two began, Kiana once again contemplated hesitating with her attacks to be sure that Jenny hit, but after seeing the warning look in her friend's eyes, Kiana was resigned to her fate. It took only a few well-aimed jinxes and spells before Jenny found herself on the ground with several boils along her limbs. Michelle quickly undid the jinx for her sister and Jenny was ushered away, but Kiana distinctly noticed the smile on Jenny's flushed face. In one crazy moment, Kiana realized that it was _Jenny _who had not tried her very best during the duel.

_Your turn will come, _she thought menacingly as Jenny passed her a discrete wink. _One day you'll have to embarrass yourself in a room full of strangers and then…_

"Hey look, the medieval dragon-slayer is dueling next!" Seamus Finnigan blurted out amongst a few chuckling boys. He caught Kiana's eye and smiled kindly, letting her know he was playing with her, but Kiana simply grunted and turned away. She continued to keep her gaze away from Harry Potter in case he was passing her sickening looks or taunting her along with the others.

So Kiana was quite unaware of Harry's victory the first time he dueled, as well as the second…She only focused on her own nerves as she dueled Michelle, then Ernie, and finally Hermione.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean for it to hit…" Kiana told her earnestly as her jinx was removed from Hermione.

The Gryffindor, to Kiana's surprise, merely laughed. "Kiana, I swear that you'd rather duel with sticks instead of real spells. What's the point of a dueling contest if everyone doesn't want their spells to hit? Congrats, though, you were brilliant. I really had to stay focused!"

Kiana shrugged modestly as the announcer spoke to the room at large: "For our semi-final round, we now have two pairs: Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter from Gryffindor, Kiana Karn from Hufflepuff, and Terry Boot from Ravenclaw."

At hearing Harry's name, her insides gave another painful lurch, making her hold her hand across her mouth in case she vomited in front of everyone. She glanced longingly at the door, but she knew her friends would never let her live it down if she backed away now.

Thus, Kiana found herself gluing her gaze at Terry lest her eyes accidentally strayed to Harry.

Terry frowned within a few moments of her personal staring contest. "Blimey, don't look so harsh! It's only a silly contest." He sounded like he was questioning her mental health, as well.

Kiana groaned and glanced down at the floor. "I'm a little out of my league, I think," she mumbled, not sure if Terry had heard her or not.

"Duelers, begin!" came the announcement.

Terry responded quicker than Kiana would have preferred. She hadn't quite prepared herself and had to twist her body hard to dodge the spell flying at her shoulder.

Determined to focus her mind only on the duel, Kiana narrowed her gaze at her opponent and shot every simple jinx she could remember. A few Terry only barely managed to rebound upon her, and Kiana acknowledged his unusual skill. She actually had to work at dueling this time.

Kiana did well at focusing only on Terry, so she was oblivious to what was occurring with the other pair – Harry and Ginny. It was only after she had successfully hit Terry with a leg-locking curse that she realized they were the last to finish.

She felt her stomach tighten into painful knots when she found herself staring into the curious green eyes of Harry Potter. She was immobilized by his gaze, as if he had spoken a silent spell and frozen her eyes.

It was not until the announcer's voice blasted through the room when the spell was finally broken, and Kiana could divert her gaze and focus on the words being spoken.

"And now we have our final two challengers! Kiana Karn and Harry Potter will battle each other for the title of dueling champion."

Kiana had to steady herself against the wall to stop herself from fainting.


	2. Unforeseen

**Chapter Two: Unforeseen**

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

- **Carl Jung (1875 - 1961)**

It took Kiana a few moments before she could look up into his eyes. She expected to find him staring at her with some amount of caution, but his eyes only held curiosity. Harry, being the bolder one at the moment, stepped forward as their audience situated itself for the last round.

"Did I hear correctly that you're the transfer who didn't realize I'm a real twentieth century lad, not a mythological character out of…"

"Yes, yes; I'm the joke of the day," Kiana cut in rudely, making a sour face. She might as well rush the conversation to hasten its end. "Laugh it off before we start dueling. If you ridicule me too much I won't be careful about the spells I pick for this duel."

She hadn't filtered her thoughts before speaking, so she silently cursed herself for how rude her words sounded. If she hadn't made an enemy out of him before, surely he would be one now.

To her surprise, Harry didn't take offense at her joke but simply smirked like he found her humorous. "Who's to say I _was _going to laugh at you, Kiana? It's Kiana, right?

She grimaced in embarrassment and lowered her gaze. "Yeah. I'm sorry I judged you too quickly…Harry. I wanted to escape from this room the moment my friend pointed out to me my horrendous mistake, but for some ungodly reason I am still here."

Harry smiled at her with compassion. She felt her gut relax, like the boy had placed another spell on her to erase all her troubled emotions. She found herself smiling back.

"No hard feelings," Harry replied. "Let's pretend it never happened, and I'll make sure the other Gryffindors forget it as well." His eyes narrowed as he glanced at the group of students gawking at them both. "May the best dueler win?"

She shook his outstretched hand firmly as the seventh year announcer (she realized she had missed the boy's name) calmed down the room again.

"Let us begin the final championship round. Give the duelers some room…that mean _you, _Finnigan! I don't want anyone accidentally shot with a stray spell. Now, wands at the ready…and…_begin!"_

Kiana hadn't known what to expect when Harry Potter started dueling. To her, his "hero" status meant nothing in today's world unless he rose to that standard. She found, however, after a few passed spells (none of them hitting on either side), that Potter's reflexes were sharper than hers. Although his aimed spells were a tad off center, he made up for that with his speed. They were dueling so swiftly Kiana knew their actions must look like unsteady and untargeted flashes of speeding light to their captive audience.

But within a few minutes, Kiana was getting frustrated. Even her "surprise" hits were shot back at her with Harry's quick _protego _shields. They both were using silent spells, so neither was speaking a word as they dueled, though Kiana noticed Harry's lips silently moving in complete concentration.

They had been dueling (or, more accurately, paring) for a good five minutes when a new spell came into Kiana's mind. She had been using the same three jinxes the entire length of the duel, praying at least one would hit, but she knew that now was the time for a more powerful curse. Harry would need more energy to block this one, she knew.

She found herself crying the spell aloud. "_Confundo!"_

Harry had not cried out the spell like she had, but Kiana realized a moment too late that he had sent the same curse her way at the exact moment she had fired hers.

Kiana's eyes widened and she instinctively backed away toward the wall behind her. She watched with both fascination and horror as their spells collided in the middle of the room and filled the air with a deafening blast. She had raised her wand to fix whatever side effect had occurred when something hard hit her and she was thrown back against the wall.

Blackness covered her and took her far away from the dueling room.

The blasts of fired spells followed her to that other world, but she regained her bearings remarkably quickly. Her body tensed as she raised her wand arm against the darkness of night.

_"Lumos," _she murmured to her wand.

The beam of light illuminated the forest around her. The blasts she had heard were now visible as mini fireworks in the far off trees.

"Kiana!"

Her heart quickened at his call and she found herself rushing through the trees. She ran into him within moments, but the boy did not let her cling to him for long. He grabbed her hand and forced her into a run in the opposite direction of the thundering spells.

"Harry, what's happening?" she cried out at him. Her heart's thumps were now out of terror, for the boy was clearly fearful as he led her through the never-ending throng of trees. She could hear him breathing heavily even with the blasts from behind.

And her fear only increased when he didn't answer her.

Unseen, a cloaked figure jumped out at them from behind a tree, and Kiana shrieked as Harry halted and threw out his arms to block her.

"Now, now," the cloaked man murmured, holding out his hands in a defenseless gesture. "There's no need for this. You know there's no use in defending her, Potter. She's already ours."

"You lay one finger on her and I'll kill you!" Harry screamed, reaching for Kiana's shaking hand and squeezing it.

The man chuckled, and the hood hiding his face swayed slightly. "For how powerless you are, Potter, it's amazing how much courage you have."

With that, the man unveiled his wand and shot Harry with a silent spell before Kiana could even blink. Harry vanished in a cloud of smoke, and Kiana screamed out his name again and again, only to be rewarded with unbearable silence.

The cloaked man before her ignored her pitiful cries and vanished just as secretly as he had appeared. Kiana was about to sprint back into the woods in vain search for Harry, but a cold, high voice froze her in place.

"Stay where you are, girl. Your love is long gone."

Her body betrayed her when the creature stepped out from the trees. Her knees weakened and collapsed, sending her falling to the cold ground. Her voice froze, leaving her unable to cry out in protest as he slowly approached her with unfurled hands. She lay at his feet in a pathetic groveling position, unable to even raise her head and study the figure above her. Her mind screamed for Harry continuously, but Harry's voice did not answer her nor did she feel his presence.

Her love had deserted her in every way possible.

Kiana winced as the Dark Lord placed his ghostly pale hand on her head and whispered words so full of menace each syllable chilled her heart.

"At last, Kiana Karn, you belong to me."

*

"Kiana! Kiana, are you okay?"

She grimaced and pulled her arm over her eyes to cast the sharp light away. "Where's Harry?" she mumbled, still half away in her nightmarish vision. "Why did he leave me?"

Confusion was clear in each word spoken to her. "Kiana, he's over there…Neville is trying to bring him to. Somehow, you both got knocked unconscious when your spells connected."

Michelle's words brought her back to the crowded room. Kiana's head pounded in protest as she let the light from the wall torches fill her vision. Michelle and Jenny were bent over her with concern, their faces pale even in the firelight.

"Really?" Kiana asked, her mind muddled as she struggled to sit up straight. "Our spells knocked…_both _of us out?"

"That's right," Michelle told her. "They both must have been powerful enough to cause some sort of…effect. Hermione can't figure it out, either; she's over there with Harry."

Kiana forced her eyes to stray to the other side of the room, where Harry was being helped up by Hermione and Ron. About half of the room had dispersed, making her wonder how long she had been unconscious.

After finding that she was able to stand without much discomfort, Kiana caught Harry Potter's gaze. His face was worn and strained, like he had just received disheartening news. To her surprise, Harry didn't smile at her but, within seconds, dropped his head and turned away from her.

It was then a thought came to her mind. If both she and Harry had been knocked unconscious at the same time…had they then had the same vision? If vision it even was?

_Rubbish, _she thought with irritation. _It couldn't have been a 'vision' of any sort because it didn't make sense. Nothing about it resembled real life, especially the part about me and Harry being…together. It had to be some kind of strange side effect of the spell collision, since Harry cast the same spell at me. _

But as she watched Harry exit the room, shepherded by Ron and Hermione, his face still possessed that same dispirited expression. Kiana suddenly wasn't so sure she was right.


	3. The Request of Dumbledore

**Chapter Three: The Request of Dumbledore**

To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage, because we don't want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt.

**Madonna**, _O Magazine, January 2004_

To say that Kiana's mind thought often of Harry Potter would be an understatement. Ever since the infamous moment in the dueling room, Kiana had been replaying the dream or vision she had seen over and over in her head, but she couldn't come up with any possible conclusions to why it had occurred.

"It was nothing more than a dream from your subconscious, and Harry was in it because he had been knocked out with you," Madam Pomfrey remarked crisply as she looked Kiana over in the Hospital Wing. It was the morning after the dueling match, and both she and Harry had been forced to be seen by the school physician by an anxious Hermione.

"You're in good shape," Pomfrey told Kiana after a quick analysis. "You'll probably experience some headaches from your collision with the wall, but the 'explosion' you described has not hurt you physically. You are free to return to your classes."

Kiana was hardly listening as she watched Harry converse with Hermione and Ron at the end of the Hospital Wing. Harry had been given a clean bill of health first, though Pomfrey had not cured his sour disposition. He continued to appear distressed and on-edge, and the looks he passed Kiana were nothing less than distrustful.

Kiana's heart sank. She knew what he was thinking without being told: he was considering every possibility carefully, and the one forefront to his mind was something along the lines of Kiana placing that vision somehow in his mind. Kiana was merely confused about the fact that she and Harry had so obviously been a couple in the vision, but Harry was suspicious.

It was then, through out the next few days, that Kiana made it her sole goal to be on good terms with Harry Potter again. She didn't know why it mattered to her so much – if Harry didn't trust her or believe she was innocent, why should she care? – but she firmly believed that this was one person she didn't want as an enemy.

"He doesn't _hate _you, Kiana," Hermione told her with utmost seriousness when she had come to visit Kiana at the Hufflepuff House table one evening. "He's just…confused. The vision you both witnessed is not normal, and I've looked in every book I can that has to deal with curse aftershocks and rebounding spells, but I've found no answer."

"Do you think I _planned _to have this happen, Hermione?" Kiana hissed, digging her fork into her chicken. "I was as caught off guard at what happened as Harry was. If I had wanted to weaken Harry during the duel, I would have found a slightly less embarrassing way! Does he think I _hit _on guys this way or something?"

Although her question was humorous, Hermione remained solemn and shook her head. "Don't think like that, Kiana. Harry doesn't think of it _that _way…"

"His glares sure don't support that," she muttered, glancing sideways at the Gryffindor table to find Harry's cold eyes, once again, on her.

Hermione shook her head again in irritation, her thick, wavy hair flying about her face. "I don't know what's gotten into him. He shouldn't be acting this way, especially when he has _no _proof whatsoever that this is your fault."

"Haven't you talked to him, Hermione?" Kiana asked. "Haven't you told him that I'm as innocent as he is, and that I hate that vision as much as…"

"Of course I have," Hermione cut in fiercely. "He isn't listening. His mind is obsessed with his own assumptions, which makes him completely biased and closed-minded if you ask me. I'm hoping now that it's just a phase and one day he'll wake up to the truth. He can't hold grudges against you forever!"

Kiana nodded, more out of respect for Hermione instead of in agreement. She decided that she had to take matters into her own hands. She would take one more shot at her goal, and if Harry continued to judge her, she would forget him forever. She wasn't about to let one boy destroy her hopes for a good first year at Hogwarts.

*

Kiana pretended to obediently jot down notes on parchment as Professor McGonagall lectured on the technicalities of the transfiguration of inanimate objects into live beings. In truth, she was staring hard at the boy sitting three seats down from her. He was taking notes religiously - to avoid her gaze completely, she figured - but that didn't stop Kiana from trying to get his attention. She had been testing him all day, trying to give him smiles or ask him a question, but he acted as if she had blended into the wall.

Hermione, who was sitting next to him, was trying to help Kiana's cause, but Harry was successfully ignoring her, too. By the end of the class, Kiana had learned nothing new about transfiguration, but she knew that now was her moment. She had to forget all her subtle advances and be aggressive.

And aggressive she was as she cornered Potter in a less populated corridor. He merely raised his eyebrows in surprise, like he had no idea why this random girl was tracking him down.

"Okay, Potter, this is the last time I try to be friendly," she told him, trying to suppress an angry sneer. "Your actions are completely uncalled for, and it's nothing less than _rude _to suggest that I had something to do with the consequences of our duel. I judged you prematurely, but you're doing exactly the same thing now! How well do you _really _know me, Potter? How do you know I'd try to get your attention by creating a…scene of you and me?"

Kiana was waiting for him to get defensive and angry, but she was taken aback when his shoulders slumped and his eyes darted away from her, as if in embarrassment. "You're right," he finally said. "I _don't _know you so well to assume you'd do something so…impolite."

Kiana remained tense, not willing to forgive him so soon. "Then why have you been acting like this? You've been sending me death glares for days, and I wouldn't be surprised if you paid the Slytherins to get me expelled."

Harry shook his head slowly, still not meeting her eyes. "'Death glares' is a bit much, Kiana. But I admit I haven't been that friendly to you, and I apologize. That whole situation in the dungeons has made me a bit – err – uneasy. I'm used to visions of myself being attacked by Voldemort, but when he was suddenly after you…It just didn't make sense. Nothing about it makes sense."

Kiana pursed her lips in deliberation. She wasn't sure how to respond to his words, but she knew that – however much she enjoyed it – she couldn't continue to hold grudges against him. Doing that would only make them both more uncomfortable.

"Well, I agree with you there – nothing makes sense. But as long as it doesn't continue, which it hasn't, let's try to put it behind us. Can we be casual friends at the very least? I promise not to stalk you anymore if you promise to stop glaring at me."

Harry finally looked directly at her and smiled shyly. "I guess it's a deal."

*

Kiana thought that, once she was on good terms with Harry again, her constant OCD thoughts about him would stop. But, to her discouragement, she continued to think about him until he followed her into her dreams. She couldn't pinpoint why, but Michelle voiced her own opinions loud and clear –

"You _like _him, Kiana!" she told her out on the grounds one windy afternoon. Her Gryffindor scarf flapped behind her as she hugged her arms to her chest. "There's obviously more than one reason why you want to be friends with him. You can't stand the thought of him hating you, so you can't let it go!"

Kiana huffed indignantly, though she tried to hide her face behind the book she was reading in case her cheeks were red. "Thank you, Nancy Drew, for your careful observations," she muttered. "So what if I like him, it's not like he's going to come waltzing up to me and ask me to go to Hogsmeade with him. Have you not seen him staring at that redhead girl all the time? What's her name…Virginia?"

"Ginny," Jenny supplied rather boastfully. "It's obvious that she likes him, but I didn't know the feeling was mutual. I guess we'll see if he starts wandering over to her more frequently during meals."

Kiana ignored her and flipped through pages with exaggerated concentration.

"You'd better get to him first, Kiana, before Ron's little sister does," Michelle said with a teasing smile. "She's rather popular and can charm people easily. I've seen her perform some quality jinxes; I'm surprised she didn't win the…"

"If you two are going to yap about that little twerp, then go to your dormitory and do it," Kiana snapped, slamming her book down on the grass. "_I'm _trying to study! I'm sorry if you two don't care as much about your future grades."

Instead of reacting in anger, the sisters simply exchanged knowing glances. "She's got a little bit of a temper when we talk about her rival," Michelle told her sister. "I hope Ginny doesn't make a move soon or else we'll have to live with a temperamental Kiana for the rest of our lives!"

Kiana threw her book at Michelle's retreating back as the sisters rushed away in a fit of giggles. Kiana moodily went to retrieve her book, but she couldn't concentrate on the words anymore. She was almost offended that Michelle had suggested she had feelings for Harry. What an immature...

"Oh, Kiana, I forgot to give this to you."

Michelle was back and holding a folded piece of parchment in front of Kiana's face.

"What is it? A love note from Harry?" Kiana asked with rude sarcasm.

"It's top secret, if you must know," Michelle replied with a roll of her eyes. "From Dumbledore himself. He probably wants to give you more lessons or something. Didn't he teach you a few things to catch you up when we first came here?"

"Yeah," Kiana said with a shrug. "I guess I must have done poorly. He said we wouldn't be meeting again."

"Maybe Harry's anger has returned and he told Dumbledore some great lie and he's going to expel you."

Kiana glared at her friend as she grabbed the note and read through the words quickly. "He wants to meet me immediately," she said softly. "I wonder what could be so urgent."

"Go and see, and tell me if you need help packing."

Kiana slugged her on the shoulder and Michelle laughed before rushing away to find her sister.

_I wonder if Dumbledore would expel me for vomiting all over his marble floor, _Kiana thought as she approached the Headmaster's office. _'Cause that's what I feel like doing right now._

Once she was awarded entrance, she approached the Headmaster's desk with careful steps and a mind overflowing with trepidation. Although Michelle had been obviously teasing her, Kiana couldn't help but fear the worst. What if Dumbledore somehow heard what had happened in the duel with Harry and was going to punish her? What if he, like Harry, thought she had something to do with the spell collision?

Dumbledore, apparently unaware of her nerves, smiled kindly and motioned toward the high-backed, cushioned chair across from his desk. She sat down and studied the aging Headmaster with as much ease as she could.

Despite Dumbledore's pure white beard and wrinkled hands, looking into his blue eyes was like peering into the eyes of a much younger adult. Dumbledore could appear as weary as his age dictated sometimes, but at other moments he could be as vivacious as a child. Kiana had received five lessons from him since the beginning of the school year, and his masterful skill with his wand and other magical forces astounded her to no end. If she was certain of anything in her life, it was that Albus Dumbledore could perform any spell and do it perfectly.

Dumbledore surveyed her over the rim of his half-moon spectacles. "So, Miss Karn, I guess you are wondering why I called you here after I claimed I wouldn't be summoning you again."

Kiana nodded slowly, for her throat had closed up. As kind as Dumbledore was, she couldn't help but feel intimidated by the Headmaster. It was different to speak to a powerful wizard than to an adult back home. The worst punishment she could receive from a teacher in the Muggle world was a detention, whereas an adult wizard could perform the worst kind of transfiguration…

"Well, you see, I have found myself to be in a sticky situation." His tone had changed, which increased the churning in her gut. He sounded dismayed, almost weary. "I need assistance from someone who is capable of reaching my desired goal. I believe that person is you."

Kiana swallowed hard and gazed with amazement at the Headmaster. "Me, Sir?" Her voice was weak and feeble compared to his.

He smiled warmly again, slightly easing the tension. "Yes, you. You have proved yourself capable of this task by performing admirably in our lessons. I don't doubt that you will succeed."

"B..but, Sir…" she stammered. "I am not as skilled as some in my year. I haven't mastered a patronus yet! Isn't there someone else who…"

"No." He cut her off with a flick of his hand. "There is no one else. Only you can help me now."

Further arguing was useless, so instead she asked, "What do you wish of me, Headmaster?"

His smile vanished and a gloom settled in his eyes. "I need you to attend the gathering of Death Eaters tonight and discover what Voldemort is plotting. Severus Snape has forewarned me that Voldemort is gaining crucial information that will hurt the Order of the Phoenix and put Harry Potter's life in danger. Voldemort will seek to use this knowledge to plan an attack as soon as possible; he has grown frustrated in the fight since Harry escaped from him last year in the graveyard. He is more determined than ever to finish him off."

Kiana hardly comprehended Dumbledore's words after, "…attend the gathering of Death Eaters tonight…" Despite the seriousness in his tone, Kiana found herself laughing.

"That's funny, Headmaster; that really is. You expect _me_, a mere transfer, to attend a Death Eater meeting and have a little chat with Voldemort? Will it be over tea, perhaps? And biscuits? We may be able to discuss politics before he divulges all aspects of his plot to little ol' me."

Dumbledore remained silent, allowing her to release her confused, mixed emotions. When she had further read the seriousness in his gaze, her smile disappeared and reality hit her with a powerful force.

"You must know by now, Miss Karn, that I never joke about anything as serious as you coming in close contact with Lord Voldemort. I know that the news is a shock to you now, but understand me when I say that you are prepared for this seemingly insurmountable task. Severus has cleverly spread rumors among the Death Eaters that a talented transfer to Hogwarts is experienced in the Dark Arts and seeks for ways to use her talent in more profound ways. Voldemort has been intrigued by these rumors and has personally requested Severus to bring this transfer to him so that he may test her. Truthfully, he will be shocked to discover that this student is a young American girl, but when he realizes the power you could bring to his army, he will quickly accept you as his own."

Mouth agape, mind reeling, Kiana slowly pushed her chair back and headed toward Dumbledore's office door. At first she walked, but as Dumbledore's words further sunk into her head, the walk became a run. She was a foot from the door when it shut and locked on its own. She turned back to the Headmaster with tears in her eyes.

"How can you ask this of me?" she hissed, anger boiling deep within her soul. "You know the Dark Lord is proficient at Legilimency. He will see right through my act and murder me on the spot."

"Not if you offer him your soul and dedication," Dumbledore replied quietly. "Voldemort will perceive the doubts in your mind as normal for a teenage girl. He will be more determined by it, for he seeks to purge each Death Eater of his or her weaknesses and develop blind obedience within them. He will want to mold you into one of his talented killing machines. Your plea will also become stronger if you offer him this…" He threw a small ring to her, which she absentmindedly caught. She studied the silver metal with increased curiosity. The ring was created to resemble a coiling snake, its mouth wide to reveal razor-sharp fangs. Its eyes gleamed red and Kiana couldn't tell if they shone from hidden jewels or an inner magic.

"So Voldemort will accept me because he wants to add this ring to his jewelry collection?" she scoffed.

Dumbledore smiled weakly. "This ring was another crafted by Salazar Slytherin himself. It supposedly was passed down through his lineage, but no one saw it again after Slytherin's death. You will claim to be part of that lineage, having received the ring from your own father. Voldemort, as you know, judges people mainly on their pureness of blood, and he will be pleased to see that you come from a powerful line."

"But I don't…"

Dumbledore raised his hand for silence. "I understand that, but Voldemort will be blind to the truth because of this ring. Do not question anything but take my information as fact."

Kiana's eyes revealed her doubt, but Dumbledore ignored this. "Severus has kindly agreed to bring you to the gathering. Stay close to him and you will be safe."

Kiana almost huffed at this remark, for she was not blind to Snape's hatred toward her and her American friends. He had held a prejudice toward her from the very beginning, and Kiana could never figure out why. She could envision Snape tossing her to the Dark Lord, saying, "My lord, I have brought you a tasty snack to replenish your energy. She is a Mudblood so she is not as scrumptious as we, but her American flesh will be a change from the norm. I ask that you kill her slowly and cruelly; I have longed to hear her scream for mercy."

"Surely you do not believe I would hand you over so quickly? I would wait until you're weakened by the Dark Lord's tests and _then_ offer you up as a sacrifice."

Kiana almost screamed as Snape's low, silky voice hissed in her ear. She bolted from his reach, shaking with embarrassment and anger as she grasped her wand in her pocket. How dare that foul bat read her mind while she was unaware of his presence!

"Ah, there you are, Severus." Dumbledore ignored the little exchange between the two and walked calmly toward them, hands clasped at his chest. "I presume all is in order for tonight?"

Snape bowed slightly as he mumbled, "Yes, Headmaster."

"You are prepared to go through with this, whatever may occur?"

"Of course, Headmaster."

Kiana gulped at Dumbledore's words. _Whatever may occur? _Didn't Dumbledore have every detail memorized and planned?

"Excellent. Miss Karn, if my wristwatch is behaving properly today, I believe it is a quarter past six. The Death Eaters are scheduled to arrive at nine o'clock in the Little Winging Cemetery. Severus will be alerted as to the exact moment when Voldemort beckons him, and he shall Apparate with you at that time. For now, he shall bring you to his office and mentally prepare you for what is to come."

Kiana's headache returned with all fierceness. She couldn't imagine a worse situation…trapped in Snape's office for hours until she is properly escorted to her torturous death by the most powerful Dark wizard in ages. And the only spell she felt confident at performing was _Incendio_!


	4. Encounter With The Dark Lord

Chapter Four: Encounter With the Dark Lord

Love isn't a decision. It's a feeling. If we could decide who we loved, it would be much simpler, but much less magical.

**Trey Parker and Matt Stone**, _South Park, Chef Aid, 1998_

"The Dark Lord has every detail of his followers memorized, from their greatest weaknesses to their most powerful spell. If you are to gain his acceptance, you will need to submit yourself completely to his will. You are, of course, aware of such consequences."

Kiana's previous plan of envisioning Harry dancing naked in the front of Snape's office failed dismally. She could no longer tune out Snape's words, and her fear that he could see every scene that flashed through her mind caused her to practice Occlumency with vigor.

"You mean am I prepared for excruciating pain and tormenting tasks?" she said crisply. "I hadn't expected to be pushed into Hell tonight, Sir. I have not dressed properly for the occasion. What is Voldemort's favorite color?"

"This is no game, Karn." His icy breath caused goose bumps to erupt on her neck. "If you want to gain his favor and hear of his plan to murder Potter, you will have to act like one obsessed with impressing the Dark Lord. Act like you have tried performing every Dark curse in history and that you envision torturing your enemies in your sleep. Any sign of hesitation or reluctance to obey his commands will grant you an instant onset of the Unforgivable Curses."

She suddenly forgot to breathe. "But Dumbledore said…"

"_Dumbledore _does not encounter the Dark Lord on a daily basis," Snape sneered, tapping his wand against his palm as he circled Kiana sitting in a lone chair. "He doesn't know the tricks Voldemort uses to ensnare his captors. Do not expect me to fly to your rescue as the Dark Lord scrutinizes you; you will be alone in your task."

Her jaw shook with the rage she was unsuccessfully suppressing. "So I was right; you _will _throw me to Voldemort! How can Dumbledore just send me into his clutches when I haven't been prepared? I know _nothing_ about the Dark Arts nor am I accustomed to torturing those weaker than me. I believe I should be writing farewell letters to my friends and family instead of sitting in this gloomy office with you!"

Snape glared at her, as if her anger was inappropriate for the occasion. "You can start by controlling that temper of yours, Karn! Voldemort does not tolerate the fly-away emotions of a teenage brat such as yourself. There are two simple rules you must follow if you wish to survive tonight's task: keep your mouth shut and your mind open. If you pretend like you have nothing to hide, Voldemort will be less suspicious."

Though it had only been two hours since her arrival in Dumbledore's office, the reality that she was going to be facing Lord Voldemort (someone 99% of Hogwarts students had never spoken to), was distressing her mind and body. Despite the burning in her throat and eyes, she willed herself not to tear up. Showing weakness in front of Severus Snape, a skilled double spy, would only turn her into a target for the Potion Master's Dark curses.

However hard she tried to keep her emotions from Snape's reach, he clearly noticed her distress. He folded his arms across his chest and stared at the ceiling, obviously annoyed by her lack of resolve. Kiana silently waited for him to speak. She took deep, long breaths to keep her tears at bay and her stomach settled. Finally, Snape peered down at her with unreadable eyes.

"Despite my deep aversion toward you and your upbringing, Karn, I, too, believe in your ability to outwit the Dark Lord. If you believe in the strength that right now remains buried beneath your adolescent emotions, you will survive. But to assist you in this task, I am granting you this one gift…"

Before she knew what was happening, Snape had waved his wand across her eyesight. She was hit with a wave of knowledge and emotions completely foreign to her mind. Instantly, she was able to chant dozens of curses she had never learned, recite information that would have previously chilled her to the core, and think horrific thoughts about anyone who crossed her mind. She found her eyes drying, her stomach unclenching, and a wave of determination and annoyance fight its way to her conscious.

"Are we done yet?" she snapped at Snape. "I want to confront this so-called lord before more minutes are wasted in this pathetic study."

Snape's expression hadn't changed, but she noticed a glimmer of satisfaction flicker across his dark eyes. "You will return to my office at exactly a quarter to nine. If you are late, you will have to deal with my curses before those of the Dark Lord's."

"Don't worry, _Sir_," Kiana jumped off the table and sunk low in a mock bow. "I don't wish to anger one so skilled in the Dark Arts. Don't miss me too much when I'm gone."

Without waiting for a reply, she rushed through Snape's open office door, slamming it with a flick of her wand as she retreated.

*

No stars burst through the sinister blanket of night as Kiana and Snape hurried through the dense forest toward the cemetery in Little Winging. Snape's Dark Mark had erupted a minute before nine o'clock, and he had wasted no time before Apparating them both to Voldemort's supposed destination. Snape had supplied Kiana with a thick, black cloak to conceal her face from curious Death Eater stares. Snape, himself, was clothed in the same dark cloak, and Kiana thought to ask about other Death Eater fashion trends, but she knew her comment would be unnecessary. The world around them was as silent as the bodies buried deep beneath the earth, and Kiana suppressed a shudder at the desolate area. Did Voldemort always need to appear in a hellish, deathly location?

Seven others had arrived at the same time as them, and Kiana longed to study the faces of the tall, hooded figures, but her hood limited the range of her vision.

"Speak to no one," Snape hissed in her ear. "Ignore anyone who wishes to engage in conversation. Their questions will be answered once the Dark Lord arrives."

That moment occurred far quicker than Kiana had hoped. One moment the patch of grass in front of her vacant, the next it was occupied by a creature alike to the Devil himself. His skeleton-like body was covered by a black gown that moved with him like smoke. His skin was paler than the dead, and his red eyes could burn a hole in your forehead. Kiana's eyes widened with fear at his mere presence, and she involuntarily took a step backward. Snape quickly grabbed her arm and hauled her back, whispering, "You leave and you die."

_So much for support, _Kiana thought with disgust.

As if hearing the words spinning through her mind, Voldemort fixed his eyes on her and sneered. His sneer (_far_ different than Draco Malfoy's), froze her to the spot and left her cold. She could do nothing but watch as Voldemort approached her with greed in his gaze.

"So, Severus, this is the one." Voldemort's voice was cold and low like a snake's hiss, but he managed to sound fierce and commanding at the same time. "And you have brought him to me under Dumbledore's nose. Does the old fool know he is here?"

"No, my lord," Snape said, keeping his eyes lowered in respect. "Dumbledore, although aware of this pupil's talent, did not glimpse the true desires within her mind."

Voldemort raised an eyebrow questionably. "_Her_?" he hissed, instantly throwing back Kiana's hood with a flick of his hand, although he was still a foot away. Once spotting her long, brown hair and the feminine features of her face, Voldemort laughed with scornful delight. "A girl, Severus! You had me expecting a young male warrior, and instead I find before me a young teenage _girl_!"

He laughed again, a high, bone-chilling sound, and the Death Eaters around him copied, having been given permission from their master. Kiana remained still, trying to keep her mind empty and her eyes glued on Voldemort's petrifying features.

"Speak, girl!" The Dark Lord waved his hand at her in acknowledgement. "Why do you think you have been brought here today? What do you have to offer the Dark Lord? Speak wisely, for these words could very well be your last. Lord Voldemort does not consider new followers for long – I can usually judge in a minute whether they have what it takes to call me 'Master'."

Swallowing to ease her dry throat, Kiana took a deep breath and said, hoping nothing was betrayed in her voice, "My lord Voldemort, I have come to offer you my talents and allegiance. I have met the boy Harry Potter, and I can easily see the weakness and vulnerability you, of course, are aware of. It will not be difficult to finally finish him off, but I hope to join your ranks of obedient followers in order to fully observe the wonders of your powers. With you as the world's leader, the Mudbloods and Muggles will fall, and we pureblood wizards and witches will be able to enjoy a free world with you as our master!"

Voldemort listened to her speech with rapt attention, although Kiana thought she glimpsed doubt flash across his face. She prayed she was wrong, for it surely meant death if it were true.

"You bring me not only a girl, Severus, but an American!" Despite the mockery in his tone, Kiana caught a hint of astonishment. "To find such a talented wizard abroad is a great feat indeed. But you speak of purebloods leading the way, girl. How do I know that you, yourself, are of pureblood?"

Having prepared herself for this moment, Kiana bent down on one knee and offered up the ring of Slytherin Dumbledore had given her. "This was given to me by my father, my lord, before his untimely death."

Voldemort took the ring into his long, white fingers with a smile of glee. "I thought this had disappeared into the earth," he whispered, almost to himself. "I did not know of its existence. Surely you must be of pure blood if your father gave this to you…"

"I am, my lord Voldemort."

"Very well! You shall prove yourself capable of the demands I set upon my followers. Rise up, girl, and point your wand at _that_ hooded figure!"

Her wand arm was shaking, but Kiana couldn't control that. She knew what Voldemort wanted her to do. She had known of this task even before her arrival.

She couldn't tell who the hooded figure was, which only made the job easier. Voldemort sneered as he continued to point at the wizard. Then he hissed, so softly she almost didn't hear…  
"_Kill him_."

She unexpectedly felt Snape nudge her in the back, and a rush of eagerness and delight spread through her mind. _This is all too easy. It's like killing a baby…_

"_Avada Kadavra!_"

With a flash of green light, the man crumbled to the ground. Voldemort let out a shout of pride and grinned at her. The force of the spell had knocked energy out of Kiana's body; she was breathing heavily as she faced the Dark Lord once more. She tried not to consider the words that haunted her mind:

_I just killed someone…I just killed someone…_

"Congratulations, girl. You have joined my army of Death Eaters." Voldemort observed her weakness and regret with a surge of gratefulness and hunger. To shape this girl would be hard work, but it would be well worth the effort.

"I hear from Severus that you wish to know of the plan to destroy Potter. You also have stated that you know him, and he you. You cannot lie to Lord Voldemort, girl; I see your encounter with him in your mind. You are fond of him."

Kiana had not expected that. She gasped softly, her eyes widening with fear. It was over. It was all over now…

"Don't look so fearful, girl. It's not unusual for a lady as young as you to fall for Potter's looks. But if want to prove yourself worthy, you must help me with my plan."

Before she could react, she found herself being transported to a small, run-down cottage close to Hogwarts grounds. The floor was filthy and deteriorating into the earth, and the walls seemed destined to fall sooner rather than later. Voldemort was at her side, but they were very much alone. This fact scared her more than Dumbledore's initial request. No one could save her if Voldemort decided to kill…

"Time is of the essence now." The snake creature hissed. "You must do this for me, girl; are you listening well? You must befriend Potter, something I know you are all too capable of. Get him in a vulnerable position and then cast the _mortacious_ spell at his heart."

Kiana's own heart almost stopped. She knew of that spell; it caused the most painful death imaginable in the victim. And he wanted her to do it to Harry…

"It will be difficult for you; I sense this in your mind. But if you don't follow my command, I will possess your soul and use you to torture innocents forever. What is that common phrase of Dumbledore's? Oh yes. 'There are things worse than death.' I think I understand what he means. Shall I dare demonstrate?"

Voldemort's gray lips parted in a smile as he noticed a filthy emaciated cat pat along the floor. Kiana had no time to prepare as Voldemort vanished into a haze of smoke and flew at her. He hit her with the strength of a freight train, sending her flying back against the wall. Her mouth opened to let out a scream, but no cry escaped her lips. Coldness engulfed her heart until she thought it to be dead, and her mind clouded over until nothing but rage, envy, and a sickening lust for power filled her thoughts. She stared at the cat with inhuman disgust, and she barely hesitated before raising her wand. "_Avada Kadavra!"_

A fierce explosion of green burst from the tip, and Kiana found herself smirking as the creature fell limp to the floor. No regret or pity leaked through the mist covering her mind. She felt only satisfaction and a renewed lust for blood as she studied the cat's corpse.

She was about to search for another soul to torture when a painful tear occurred in her heart, and the Dark Lord separated himself from her soul. For an instant she experienced intense grief and desolation as she was left with her own weak mind and vulnerable heart.

_How pathetic I am in comparison to the Dark Lord, _was the first thought that coursed through her mind. _I hope I didn't taint his powerful soul with my own filthy one. _

Kiana discovered that most of her energy had been drained in trying to repel Voldemort from her mind, and it was not long after Voldemort stood again in front of her that she collapsed at his feet. She longed to pull herself up, to not become so vulnerable, but she hardly had the strength to keep her eyes open.

"This is only a taste of what's to come if you betray me," the creature hissed above her. "And we won't be killing worthless animals next time. You have a close group of friends, no? How I long to see the expression on their faces when their best friend raises her wand against them."

She could do nothing but lay there and hear him hiss in her ear. She noticed him draw his wand out of the corner of her eye, and she tensed, preparing herself for another onslaught of pain. But he merely studied her for a moment before replacing his wand back into his robes.

"My warning will sink in harder if you lay here for a few hours. I want the job done within two weeks, do you understand? Stay close to Potter whenever possible and keep his guard down. If nothing happens by Sunday the 24th at sundown, he will be the first to die at your own hand."

Voldemort Disapparated without another word, leaving Kiana alone on the cold, damp floor. Tears streamed from her eyes as she thought about what the future held for her and those she cared for.

Kiana regained her strength slowly and painfully over the next four hours, and it was not until well after one in the morning when she was able to stand and limp back to Hogwarts. By then she only saw Harry's face in her mind and the way his eyes sparkled when he laughed.

"Oh Harry," she whispered. "What have I done to you? What have I done?"


	5. The Cost of Obedience

**Chapter Five : The Cost of Obedience  
**

But love is blind and lovers cannot see  
The pretty follies that themselves commit;  
For if they could, Cupid himself would blush  
To see me thus transformed to a boy.

**William Shakespeare, **_The Merchant of Venice, Act II Scene 6_

Kiana scrutinized herself in the mirror through narrowed eyes. Something had changed since her encounter with Lord Voldemort. Her appearance had differed, but that was obvious to anyone. Her wardrobe had changed overnight from bright, entrancing colors to moody, neutral shades. Black had become her new favorite color - thick, black eyeliner and dark eye shadow worn daily presented this fact to the world.

No, it was something internal that had altered itself, too – her mind, perhaps? Although it had been only a week since Dumbledore had announced her assignment, Kiana felt like she had been living with her temperamental, morose mind forever. She found it irritating that her professors taught them elementary spells and effortless incantations when she _should _be learning about the latest potions and Dark curses.

Where had this new demeanor come from? Why did she constantly feel the urge to slack in her schoolwork and focus instead on perfecting Dark magic?

Her gaze lingered on _Soren's Complete Guide to Illegal Curses and the Dark Arts. _She absentmindedly flipped through the discolored pages until she found the one she had been studying earlier: the Mortacious Curse.

**Curse Description:** _Deemed the most painful and deadly killing curse, the "Mortacious Curse" is difficult to cast and fatal if backfired. Should ONLY be cast at the victim's heart at close proximity or the risk of having it rebound upon the caster is doubled. If performed correctly, this newly discovered Dark spell will cause unbearable pain and tormenting memories for the victim until he/she slowly perishes from cardiac arrest. USE WITH CAUTION!_

**Curse Difficulty: **_Extreme! Practice using the "Mortacus" curse several times before attempting "Mortacious" (see p. 244). _

**Standing Within The Ministry of Magic: **_Illegal in all parts of the world. A simple attempt at this or its brother spell "Mortacus" is an automatic five years in Azkaban. _

Surprisingly, Kiana experienced no foreboding at the prospect of five years in Azkaban. _That's only for the fools who get caught, _was her instant thought.

"Kiana? What are you looking at?"

Instinctively, Kiana thrust her hand into her pocket and withdrew her wand, aiming it at the intruder to her dormitory. Michelle's eyes widened and she held up her hands in defense.

"Whoa! Calm down!" Her eyes held suspicion as well as surprise. "Why are you always on guard?"

Kiana's jaw clenched and she breathed out through her teeth with an angry hiss. "I wasn't expecting anyone for a few hours," she muttered, replacing her wand inside her robes. "You should have the decency to knock."

Michelle narrowed her gaze and approached her determinedly. "When have you _ever _asked me to knock? And is that a skull on your shirt?!" She pointed accusingly at the white skull and crossbones on her black t-shirt, which Kiana instantly covered by crossing her arms across her chest.

"So what if it is? I am free to wear whatever I want on weekends."

"I'm not arguing about your free will, Kiana; I'm arguing about the fact that, a month ago, you were appalled by even a _sword _on somebody's shirt!" Her features softened and she reached out an arm to grasp her shoulder, but Kiana frowned and twisted to avoid her hand. This caused the anger to return to Michelle's eyes, and her hands curled into fists.

"What has happened to you?" she cried, rage flowing into her words. "You're not the same person that came to Hogwarts, Kiana! Ever since you told me about some 'important meeting' you had to attend a week ago, you've been moody, withdrawn, and on edge. Are you having a pre-midlife crisis or what?"

Kiana turned her back on her friend to avoid peering into her eyes. She didn't want to observe the disappointment and concern portrayed on Michelle's face. Besides afraid of tears filling her eyes, Kiana also feared having to answer her best friend if she allowed the argument to continue. Because, heck, what answer could she give her? She herself didn't know what was happening to her, so explaining it to someone else was impossible.

"Was there something you wished to ask me?" Kiana kept her voice nonchalant and distant.

She heard Michelle breathe out huskily. "Yes. Jenny said she wants to see you by the Forest."

Kiana spun around, her brow furrowing in confusion. "She wants to meet me _where_?"

"The Forbidden Forest," Michelle repeated with annoyance. "I don't know why, but you should go now. Perhaps you can find your old personality among the trees while you're at it."

Kiana opened her mouth to retort, but Michelle had spun on her heel and stalked out of the room before she could utter a word. Kiana kicked a chair in frustration. It fell to the floor with a clatter, and her mind screamed at her to vent her anger further. What damage she could inflict on her roommates' bed curtains or the windows surrounding their dormitory!

Her wand tip glowed green in her pocket, as if signaling her to give in to her urges. She shook with the rage she struggled to contain, and her lips were white as she pressed them together to hold back a rising scream.

Finally, she could contain her emotions no longer. Aiming her wand at her pillow, she blasted apart the fabric and witnessed the explosion of feathers with glee. Her wand begged for more, and she gave it more. After destroying every pillow in the room, she created large X's in each curtain hanging from the five four-poster beds. It was all too easy to destroy ordinary objects, for with a flick of her wand she could repair them in seconds. This she did, although reluctantly. She wanted to witness her roommates' expressions when they saw their beds trashed. But what would that give her besides momentary satisfaction? She didn't need to be creating more enemies inside Hogwarts…not when she was trying so hard to become inconspicuous. The less people who were suspicious of her activities the better.

Kiana smirked with the thought. Yes, she was becoming more like a double spy every day – friend to Dumbledore and her schoolmates during the day, enemy of everything good and decent at night when she was among Voldemort and the Death Eaters.

Kiana halted in mid-step on her way to the door. She was unexpectedly hit with the memory of the dream that had haunted her at the beginning of the year. The cold hands, terrifying hiss in her ear, and heartless words: "_You are here for a reason, girl, and when the day comes when I claim you, you will have no choice but to run toward me and collapse at my feet. I am the only thing that matters now. I AM your future!" _

Yes, there was no doubt now: the dream "demon" had been Voldemort, but now Kiana couldn't remember why she had been so afraid. Yes, the Dark Lord was not akin to an angel, but he had offered her more power than even Dumbledore could have. If she had recalled her dream in Dumbledore's office, she would have panicked even more at the Headmaster's odd request. Good thing she hadn't – today she fully realized what a gift Voldemort had given her. The gift of independence, freedom, and dominance; she should be entirely grateful for everything offered to her, not afraid. Fear was an emotion associated with the weak, and that was a sensation Kiana was determined not to experience.

She brought her mind back to that day's task. The Dark Lord had informed her that a 'special friend of his' would be visiting her that night in a secluded classroom. Kiana had almost scoffed at the notion of Voldemort's 'friend,' for she knew very well that Voldemort didn't desire friends – he wanted obedient followers. And the Dark Lord was a hypocrite in this way, for even though he stressed blind obedience with the Death Eaters, he himself could break any promise he had made and kill off any man he felt incompetent. Voldemort had proved this the day he had asked Kiana to kill off one of his followers. He had picked the man without any thought; he had done it as easily as playing "Eeny, Meany, Miny, Mo."

Kiana shook her head to clear the thought. No, she couldn't dwell on that. She had acted on her orders – an order from Voldemort and an order from Dumbledore. She had done nothing because of her own will. She was simply playing a game, a deadly game.

With that conclusion, Kiana headed out the door and down the stairs. She would quickly visit Jenny before practicing her Dark spells. She wanted to be prepared for this 'friend' when he came. She didn't wish to be tortured out of incompetence with her own wand.

Although she was young, she was _not _weak. And she would prove it to Voldemort and the world soon enough.

*

Jennifer Simonson was lounging against a sycamore when Kiana strolled toward her. The girl looked up, squinting against the dying sun. She did not smile when she noticed who was approaching, which caused Kiana to clutch her wand. Keeping her magical weapon close at hand and constantly fingering it had become an old habit lately. She was always prepared to draw her weapon and fight, although what caused the warning bell to ring in her mind every hour was a mystery. Her life, it seemed, had become a mystery.

"Oh, look who it is," Jenny scoffed, pushing herself up from the ground. "The princess who turned Goth."

Kiana halted in mid-step and stared incredulously at her friend. "Not you, too," she groaned.

Jenny raised her eyebrows. "What are you surprised about? You don't expect me to grovel at your feet when you've abandoned all your friends. You hardly acknowledge us in class or in the hallways!"

Kiana closed her eyes and focused on her breathing. "I _do _have other things on my mind."

"Excuse me, then, for trying to continue a friendship with someone who has more important things to do."

Kiana stood in shocked silence as Jenny turned her back on her and sauntered off toward the Quidditch field.

Kiana's shock dissipated at the rude welcome she had received. Grinding her teeth together, she cried out after her. "Jennifer Sue, how dare you criticize me for ignoring you when _you _granted me the same gift at the beginning of the year!"

Jenny halted and spun around to face her with raging eyes. "What are you talking about, Karn?"

Hurt mingled with anger as Jenny's words sunk in. When had she ever called her something besides her first name?

"You heard me, Simonson." Two can play at that game. "I clearly recall you frolicking in the Forbidden Forest each night, not telling anyone what you were doing. The last time we hung out together was that first weekend of school! Tell me what you've been up to, Jenny, and perhaps I'll speak to you again."

Jenny crossed her arms defiantly. "What business of it is yours? I can have a private life, can't I?"

Kiana laughed with mock delight. "Do you hear the words coming out of your mouth? You accuse me of keeping secrets then hypocritically argue that _you _are allowed the same thing!"

Jenny's furrowed brow deepened, though Kiana saw that she had dug herself into a hole. Jenny was about to retort when a rustle behind them in the trees caused both girls to spin around.

Seamus Finnigan clambered onto the grass, brushing fallen twigs off his cloak. He shook himself like a dog before peering up at the ladies before him, their mouths agape with surprise.

"I thought I heard you, Karn!" He grinned broadly and walked forward. "I heard both of your elegant tones a mile away. What do we owe this honor?"

Kiana glared suspiciously at the boy. "What do you mean by 'we', Finnigan? Do you have another goon following your gallant footsteps?"

He lost his pompous act and glowered at her. "Watch your tongue, Karn. What do you _think_ I meant by 'we'? Who else is standing here in your dark shadow?"

Kiana glanced from Jenny to Seamus and back again. "I don't understand what your game is."

Seamus turned toward Jenny with a questioning gaze. "You haven't told her?"

Jenny shrugged. "She wouldn't care even if I did. As you are aware of, Kiana has found better ways to amuse herself than by hanging out with her ex-best friends."

Kiana scowled at her. What had happened to them all? They had all been so close; now all they had were accusing tones and hurtful words for her. Was it only her new attire that brought out the worst in them?

Seamus sighed and thrust his hands into his pockets. "Whatever. To keep you in the loop, Karn, I will share the news with you: Jennifer and I are officially a couple."

Kiana's jaw dropped. "As of when? Five minutes ago?"

Something dark flashed across Seamus' eyes. "As of a fortnight ago! Gracious, where have you been?"

"I asked her the same question," Jenny added.

Kiana threw up her hands. "Fine! I give up with all of you! Tease me all you want behind my back, but don't give me crap I don't deserve! If you want me to leave you alone, then by all means I will. This is goodbye!"

With a growl at them both, she spun on her heel and ran forcefully into…

Harry Potter.

They knocked heads and stumbled backwards, both rubbing their foreheads with a grimace. Kiana's heart skipped a beat when she realized whom she had run into. Their meetings these days seemed to be getting more and more awkward.

Harry smiled awkwardly as he rubbed his lightning bolt scar. "Hello again, Kiana."

Kiana returned the smile shyly. "Hi, Harry. How are you?"

"I'm fine; I came to ask you the same thing. You're not experiencing any...aftereffects, are you?"

"Um..no," she murmured, shuffling her foot in the dirt. "I'm fine physically." Her head buzzed, making it difficult to think up things to say. Harry seemed to be experiencing a similar sensation, so he turned toward their spectators with an embarrassed nod and smile to each.

"Potter, you here to train for the match this Saturday?"

"Of course." Harry raised his eyebrows at Seamus' doubtful tone. "Not like I need much practice."

Seamus smirked. "Oh really?"

"Yes. It's my team that needs the practice, which is why I've scheduled trainings for every night this coming week. But if you'll excuse me, I have some drills to perform with Ginny." Harry gave each of them a final nod before heading off to the Quidditch pitch, his robes flapping behind him in the chill wind.

Kiana's eyes widened maddeningly. _Ginny?! That annoyingly pretentious girl is forcing Harry to give her private lessons? Why, I'd give that two-faced…_

"Oh, and Kiana…"

Kiana pushed the anger from her eyes and peered up at the boy. "Yes, Harry?"

"Stop by the Gryffindor locker rooms at eight tonight. I think I found something that might belong to you."

Kiana's heart quickened despite the formal request. She didn't remember losing anything recently, but that didn't matter. Any time spent alone with Harry Potter was surely good for her overall mood and stability, even _if _he was the critical piece to her assignment.

"Of course," she replied with her best flirtatious smile. "I'll see you then."

She caught Jenny rolling her eyes, but Kiana ignored her. She wasn't about to let anyone ruin that moment which brought light to her mind. Finding comfort and joy in daily activities had become seldom as of late.

*

Darkness covered the enormous Quidditch field like a blanket, and Kiana could hardly make out the changing rooms as she strode across the grass. She clutched her black cloak tighter to her chest and peered up at the sky. It wouldn't be long before snow sprinkled Hogwarts Castle and another bitter season took hold upon England. She dreaded her midnight escapades now that the nights had grown unbearable, but she feared Voldemort's lashes worse than ordinary frostbite.

Breaking free of her thoughts, Kiana stood in front of the door leading to the boys' changing room and banged hard against the wood.

"Come in!" A distant voice called from within.

Kiana tentatively pulled open the door and peered inside. The tiny room filled with benches and metal lockers was still musky from the sweating bodies of Gryffindors. She wrinkled her nose at the stench. How did anyone stand staying in here long?

She forgot the uncomfortable surroundings when she noticed Harry in the back of the room. His back was to her as he pulled a gray sweater over his head. Before the wool covered it up, Kiana noticed the muscular outline of his back and the fullness of his arms. She found herself holding her breath as she studied each curve and arch of his body, but she hurriedly looked away when he spotted her in the mirror attached to his locker door.

Harry smiled and grabbed his Firebolt perched against the wall before walking toward her. His hair was disheveled and there was a streak of dirt across his face, but Kiana thought he had never looked sexier.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

Kiana gaped at him. "For what?"

"For a flying practice." He laughed at her shocked expression before tossing her a Nimbus 2000.

Kiana caught it with a smirk. "I thought you had something to give me. You said you had something that belonged to me."

Harry's eyes shone mysteriously. "I did…your broom. Hermione told me you didn't have one, so I thought I'd let you use this one for awhile. We have a whole closet full of brooms no one is using."

Kiana was momentarily speechless. She swallowed hard and looked him kindly in the eye. "Thank you, Harry. I never thought I would find the time to learn how to fly this year."

His smile vanished with her words, and he peered at her with something resembling curiosity as he led her onto the field.

"Speaking of which, Hermione also told me that you've been busy with…extracurricular activities recently." She noticed him surveying her gothic attire with something unfamiliar to her - fascination. There was no distaste in his gaze, only interest and a touch of pity.

Kiana didn't know how to reply to such a response. Normally, when her peers would chastise her, she would respond with a jinx or foul retort. Now she was met with pure kindness, and she didn't know whether to blow off his interest or spill everything.

_Don't be stupid, Kiana; you can't tell him anything! Imagine what Dumbledore would say…or worse, Voldemort. Telling your victim that you're supposed to murder him painfully is not a pleasant conversation starter. _

Despite the joy it brought to hang out with her number one crush, it was difficult to speak so normally with someone she was forced to become familiar with and then kill off. She had to pretend that she was getting to know him out of pure attraction.

Harry noticed her hesitance and added quickly, "You don't have to tell me anything. I've just noticed that you look different from the time we…first met."

Kiana smiled despite the gruesome thoughts running through her head. "We did meet in an abnormal way, didn't we?"

Harry laughed as they halted in the center of the field, the goal posts on either side of them. "Once I overcame the shock of it all, I realized that some parts of our duel were amusing - in a strange way. I don't normally knock my opponent unconscious when I'm trying to win a contest."

He was so comfortable around her, like they had known each other since childhood. It was rather disconcerting to her. She fooled with her bracelets distractedly, knowing she had to give him some kind of answer.

"Harry, I…just want you to know that I'm not your typical rebel or Goth, as I guess I appear." She continued to twirl her chain bracelet around her wrist. "I've found myself in a sticky situation as of late, and I guess I haven't responded well to it. I don't know how to explain it to even myself…"

Harry held up a hand to silence her. "You don't have to explain anything, Kiana. I understand how it feels to be disconnected to yourself, like you have…"

"Someone else living inside of you," Kiana finished with a shy smile. "Yeah, I understand."

Harry studied her intently, like he was trying to glimpse the truth within her soul. Kiana's skin prickled as she determinedly stared back into his green irises.

The silence was uncomfortable, yet it also seemed to fit the moment. They both appeared to have too many thoughts to be able to express them or even sort through them.

After a moment, Harry cleared his throat and turned away to study the three goal posts lit up by two large spotlights on the grass.

"So…are you ready to start?"

Kiana stared down at the piece of wood in her hand, wondering how it was supposed to support her hundreds of feet in the air. "Um…I guess so."

"You're not afraid of heights, are you?"

"No…well, at least not when I'm behind platted glass or a wall. Hovering high above the ground under a stick doesn't appeal to me right now."

Harry set his Firebolt on the ground and approached her. "Don't worry; you'll get used to the feeling once you've done it awhile. Have you ever mounted a broom before?"

Kiana shook her head.

Harry took her hands (creating another shiver down her spine) and placed them near the top of the broom handle. "Your hands should always remain here, even when you're turning or spiraling. Now, one leg over…right! It's similar to mounting a horse. Once you're in the air, your feet will rest against these foot braces…" Harry motioned to the metal supports closer to the tail. "Once you're reasonably comfortable, all you do is kick off from the ground hard and hold on. Here, I'll show you."

Opening up his hand, Harry's broom lying two feet away launched itself into his palm. Mounting it, Harry pushed off from the ground in one fluid motion and soared high above the grass. Within five seconds he was two stories above her. Kiana glanced up at him with awe.

"You make it look so easy!" she called to him.

Harry smiled down at her. "I just have more confidence; that's why I rose so quickly. Now come up and join me."

Kiana frowned. "Right now?"

Harry laughed. "No, by the end of term…yes, now!"

Kiana scowled at her broom and willed it to behave. She didn't wish to be bucked off her broom and spotted by Harry, the best Quidditch player in centuries. After inhaling deeply, she kicked off from the ground and felt her feet leave the grass instantly. Before she could situate herself, she was soaring upward at an accelerating speed. Past the changing room windows, the top floor of the castle, past Harry, and past the goal posts…

"Harry, make it stop!" she cried, lowering herself closer to the broom as if hoping she could push it closer to the ground with her weight.

Despite her obvious fear, Harry chuckled and watched her rise with interest. "You apparently have more confidence than you thought, Kiana, or else the broom wouldn't be rising so quickly…"

"Thanks for the support, Harry, now _get me down!_" She had pressed down hard against the wood with her hands and bottom, miraculously causing the broom to halt at least five stories above the ground. She could hardly make out Harry's face, but she knew he was laughing by the way he clutched his stomach.

"Why come down, Kiana? You're so close to the goal posts! You can try flying around them."

Suddenly murdering the boy didn't seem like such a difficult thing to do. "Shut up, Harry! There's no way I'm going to move from here until you tell me how to fly back down…"

"Okay, okay. All you do is lean forward and press up against the foot braces."

_At least he listened to me, _Kiana thought with relief. _He must have heard the fear in my voice!_

She followed his directions as precisely as possible, but instead of flying downward, her broom shot forward at a horrifying speed. Screaming, she gripped the broom handle and instinctively squeezed her eyes shut.

"Don't close your eyes!" Harry shouted to her. "You're going to hit the post!"

She thrust her eyes open to find her broom a mere seven feet from the smallest of the golden hoops. Harry was following her from below, but all laughter had died from his face. If she didn't turn soon, she was going to crash into the metal at a deadly speed.

"Turn!" Harry cried to her.

She obeyed within a foot of the hoop, yanking the broom right. She missed the outer edge by a few inches, and she was about to release her breath when something caught against the ring and pulled her from her seat. She screeched as she left the broom completely and had to reach upward to grab part of the hoop. Wrapping her arms around the thick metal, she watched with dread as her broom zoomed off toward the forest.

"Kiana!"

Harry flew toward her and hovered by her head. "Are you okay? What happened?"

Kiana groaned as she adjusted her hold on the hoop. "A strap from my cloak caught on the ring and threw me off! I could have stayed on my broom if I had realized what had happened, but I allowed myself to be thrown backwards. I have a good hold on this thing but…" She glanced down at the ground and paled. "Harry, get me on your broom!"

Harry grimaced. "My broom can't hold two people…no broom can. You're gonna have to call your broom back and get on again."

Kiana could have slugged him. "Are you insane?! I'm using all my strength to stay here as it is. How can I climb onto a broom without any support?"

"You must, or else you'll have to drop and I'll conjure up a mat for you. But that's a pretty long drop…"

Kiana cried out in exasperation and peered at the dense thicket of trees surrounding the field. "My broom's probably gone now; you call it back!"

Harry shook his head. "A broom will only respond to its rider. Just open up your hand and will it to return."

Kiana glared daggers at him. "If this doesn't work, I'm going to kill you, Potter!" She was too frightened to realize the irony of her words.

Carefully lowering one arm from her hold on the ring, she shakily opened up her palm. _Come here, you retarded broom! Come here and save me before I make a further fool of myself in front of Harry. _

Despite her name calling, the broom decided to save Kiana's dignity and fly toward her, however slowly. Once within her reach, Kiana grasped the handle and pulled the seat of the broom toward her body.

"That's it," Harry said. "Now pull your leg over just like normal…good! Now let go of the hoop."

Releasing her hold was the hardest part. She feared that on letting her hands slip from the ring, the broom would zoom away from under her again. She prayed that wizard brooms didn't commonly play tricks on people.

Closing her eyes in prayer, Kiana pulled the broom more snuggly under her before releasing her left hand from the ring. Her weight caused the broom to drop a foot, but surprisingly it stayed put afterwards. She sighed in relief and turned to Harry, who was smiling proudly at her.

"See, that wasn't so hard, was it?"

She glared at him. "Don't say another word, Potter; this is all your fault."

Harry pretended to be hurt. "_My _fault? I was just trying to help you release your fears."

"Yeah, well, you ended up increasing my fears!"

Harry rolled his eyes. "So you're not up for another spin around the pitch?"

Kiana was about to jeer at him when she thought of a better idea. She adjusted her hold on the broom before lowering herself and launching her broom toward the outskirts of the field. She heard Harry laugh in amused surprise and follow her.

She hadn't realized how exhilarating flying could be! The cool air rushed around her and chilled her bare hands and face, but the thrill of seeing the ground rush beneath her took away the sting. She practiced her turning skills by swerving around thick oak trees and the narrow goal hoops. Harry followed her every move and impressed her with his courageous stunt of standing on the front of his broom. Kiana gasped with fear as he held out his hands to the side, steering the broom with his feet. He strangely resembled a California surfer, although this surfer was hundreds of feet in the air.

"You're suicidal, Potter!" she cried at him as he narrowly missed a tree. This comment only made him laugh.

Kiana, alive with the drug of competition, attempted to copy a trick of Harry's by lying back by the tail and thrusting her legs on top of the narrow head. Harry called this the "lounge position" for obvious reasons.

"Not bad for a beginner, Karn!"

Kiana grinned and had turned to study Harry's new skill when her broom propelled itself toward the outskirts of the field. Kiana's heart lurched as she hastily leaned forward and attempted to steer the Nimbus away from the branches of the looming trees.

But her efforts came too late. The broom threw her into the bare branches, making her release a shriek as her body fell through the nearest open space. Twigs scraped her face and legs as she desperately tried (and failed) to grab hold of a thick branch. She was jostled and banged as her body fell without proper support. When she flew face forward toward a branch near the ground, she foresaw the inevitable conclusion and held up her arms to protect her face. But she was not quick enough, and her vulnerable forehead banged against the wood, bringing her to a place of dark and quiet.


	6. Her Weakness Revealed

Chapter Six: Her Weakness Revealed

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.

**Friedrich Nietzsche**** (1844 - 1900)**, _"On Reading and Writing"_

A flicker of light flashed across her eyesight. A sickening throb in her head told her that she was still alive, although the colors flying under her eyelids seemed to have followed her from that other world. She felt a hand apply something on her cheek, and she cautiously peered through the colors and light to find Harry kneeling beside her. He had a bandage in one hand and gauze in the other. He smiled when he noticed her stare and set the materials down.

"Welcome back," he told her. "How do you feel?"

"Oh, perfect," she groaned, struggling to rise on her elbows. Harry assisted and instructed her to lie against a tree trunk. She obeyed and laid her pounding head welcomingly against the wood. She studied him to give her a clue as to what had occurred after she had hit the ground. Despite the comforting smile on his face, Kiana caught the fear and weariness hidden beneath his apathetic demeanor.

"Harry, what happened?"

There it was: genuine fear had settled in his eyes. "You fell from that tree." He nodded toward the chestnut she was leaning against. "You blacked out near the end of your fall, and I was afraid you had suffered a severe concussion. But you seemed to be coming to fairly quickly, so I've been applying bandages to your face to stop the bleeding. I'm not an expert at healing spells like Hermione, but Madam Pomfrey will heal all your cuts and bruises."

Kiana felt around her face to discover quite a few bandages, including one large strip of gauze across her forehead. "Thank you," was all she thought of to say.

Harry shrugged. "It was nothing. But you should see Madam Pomfrey now, even though it's past midnight. You'll have to stay overnight in the Hospital Wing, I'll reckon; no one who has suffered a possible concussion should sleep without supervision."

Kiana nodded and studied the rips in her cloak and jeans. "I wasn't expecting so much adventure tonight," she murmured, almost to herself.

Harry smiled sadly. "Let's go before it gets much colder. If you're lucky, Madam Pomfrey will have made her special hot chocolate tonight. It's so delicious it'll even put Snape in a good mood."

*

Kiana highly doubted that Voldemort's friend would accept her "I fell thirty feet from a tree" excuse to get out of the meeting that night. She was supposed to meet this unique Death Eater in an abandoned classroom on the first floor at exactly one o'clock, but Madam Pomfrey was keeping an eye on her like a hawk.

"Flying around so late at night," the nurse huffed as she healed a particularly large bruise on Kiana's back. "Potter should have had more sense, being Captain and all."

Kiana was hardly listening as she meticulously studied the second hand on the wall clock. Fifty seconds to 12:56, forty seconds, thirty…oh, _why_ did she have to get hurt tonight of all nights?

Harry had left the Hospital Wing after being reassured by Pomfrey that Kiana would be healed and healthy by tomorrow morning. Kiana had hoped for at least a get well hug from the boy, but all she received was a small smile and good-bye wave. She tried to place his image in her long term memory; heaven knew she would want to recall it when she was being taught by her new Death Eater teacher.

But Kiana feared that she would receive more than a lesson when she finally reached the classroom. It was now one o'clock and Madam Pomfrey was continuing to heal her numerous injuries, still muttering about "careless teenagers" and "unsafe conditions."

Kiana was about to fear for her life when Professor Snape waltzed into the room, his face drawn into an irritated frown. Madam Pomfrey looked up from her work with raised eyebrows.

"Can I help you, Professor Snape?"

Snape folded his arms across his chest, scrutinizing the scene before him. Madam Pomfrey had her wand to Kiana's grazed forearm, but she raised it upon the intense stare Snape gave her.

"McClurgy has set fire to a Hufflepuff first year once again. I have disciplined him as usual, but the first year needs to be treated immediately. You should heal him at the scene; I did not wish to bring him up here. I'm sure it will do no harm to leave Miss Karn alone for a few minutes."

Madam Pomfrey sighed dramatically, surveying Kiana with suspicion. "If I must. Miss Karn, you will remain here with Professor Snape until I return. Don't move too much; your injuries are not entirely healed."

Kiana knew her horrific night was about to begin when Snape glared at her murderously after Madam Pomfrey's departure.

"What, may I ask, possessed you to partake in such a childish activity the first night you are to be trained?" Snape was as livid as she had ever seen him, and she hoped her expression hid the fear rising in her mind. "You are now going to be late, and believe me when I say that your instructor won't be as forgiving as I."

Kiana bit the inside of her cheek to keep her rage in check. How unfair he was being! It was not like she had _chosen _to be tossed into an unforgiving tree. If Harry hadn't been there, she may have lain in the forest for hours. She had had every intention to arrive at her lesson on time and in one piece.

_You idiot, Kiana! _she instantly chastised herself. _When will you remember that Snape can read minds? If he yells at Harry for his foolishness, the boy will never speak to you again. _

Snape's frown deepened, indicating that he had, in fact, seen the thoughts that passed through her head. To keep his mind off Harry, Kiana rose and said as calmly as possible, "I apologize for my actions, Professor, but it is _not _my fault that I was shut in this Wing for half an hour. Forgive me for saying that you're adding to my tardiness by reprimanding me!"

Snape sneered. "Reprimanding you will only add to the punishment you'll receive from her. You need to learn where your priorities lay, Karn. The Dark Lord has no patience for unruly followers."

The churning in Kiana's stomach began with Snape's words. He had said "her," which could only mean one thing…

Snape stepped out of her way, motioning toward the door. "Remember what I said, Karn: keep your mouth shut and your mind open. And whatever you do, do _not _show weakness in front of your teacher; it will only create more unpleasant consequences if you do. Now, make haste!"

Kiana ground her teeth as she rushed past Snape (giving him her best glare as she passed) and out to the hallway. Luckily, most of her injuries had been cured, making it possible to move without pain, but her head still ached and fatigue had crept into her muscles like a disease. She had neither the energy nor the willpower to battle with a professional Death Eater, and she feared it may cost her her sanity.

It was obvious which classroom she was to enter when she ran through the right hallway. Blasts and the shattering of glass rang in her ears, making her wince. Was she to take the place of the objects in the classroom once she entered? She checked her watch quickly – 1:15. Did a quarter after make that much difference to her teacher?

Her question was answered the second she crept through the door. Kiana was greeted with an explosion of a vase above her head, and as she ducked to avoid it, she was struck with another which smashed against her stomach. Clutching her chest with pain, she recalled Snape's words and met her teacher's furious gaze with determination. She had learned that it was better to react to pain with anger rather than fear or grief; doing so gave Death Eaters a glimpse of a challenge.

"What do you have to say for yourself, girl?"

Bellatrix Lestrange's shockingly pale features were stiff with rage. Her eyes, a light blue similar to Ron's, were wide and shining with malice, making the witch appear demented.

Kiana struggled to catch her breath, and her words came out soft and weak. "I…was delayed, my lady. It was unavoidable."

"Rubbish!" Bellatrix shrieked, destroying a glass figure a few inches from Kiana's left ear. "The first thing you shall learn is _discipline_! How am I to teach you anything if you aren't responsible? You should have learned as much from that oaf Dumbledore at the very least."

Before Kiana could reach for her wand, Bella had grabbed her own and dragged the girl to the center of the now barren classroom with a strong force. With another flick of her wand, Kiana became frozen on the wood flooring, her body stretched across like a worn rug.

"My mother always said 'obedience can only be taught with the rod.' Now I understand what she meant, and soon you will, too."

Something hot and sharp shot across her back, and Kiana couldn't hold back a scream. The sensation was similar to a red-hot iron and thick whip combined slashing her back, and Bellatrix was not satisfied with just one hit. She struck Kiana's back fifteen times, each blow becoming increasingly painful as the injuries multiplied on her skin. Snape loathed the sight of tears, but Kiana could not stop her eyes watering at the unbearable ache of her back.

Bellatrix was breathing huskily by the end, but she stood above the shaking girl with a satisfied smile. Blood was oozing from the ripped wool of Kiana's sweater and her face was shining with tears.

"The true test of a witch's power is fighting whilst weak and in pain," Bella hissed above her. "Rise, girl; show me what you can do!"

Kiana possessed a deep desire to lie at Bellatrix's feet and refuse to move, but the consequence of such defiance would surely be death. Thus, with such intense pain she released another cry, Kiana stood before her teacher and retrieved her wand from her pocket.

_I can't do this, _the weak part of her mind wept. _I can hardly hold my wand straight. How am I to fight her?_

Another part of her mind, the stronger part, kept repeating Snape's words over and over and urged her onward.

_Anger! _her mind cried out. _Where is your rage, you fool?! She humiliated you and tortured you within a minute of your entrance. Pay her back! She deserves it._

"_Sectumsempra!" _

Bellatrix pared the curse effortlessly, but a smile had appeared, making her look even madder than before. "Good, Karn. You're finally using your emotions to your advantage. Let the rage fill up until you want to explode with the sensation. Don't fight it; it is your ally. _Crucio_!"

Kiana flung the Unforgivable Curse away with much effort; she hadn't expected Bellatrix to strike so quickly. She had to work on perfecting her reflexes.

They continued this way for another half hour. Bella spoke every Dark curse and jinx known to mankind, and Kiana was barely succeeding in keeping them from hitting. When a jinx to create painful boils hit its mark, Kiana crumbled at Bella's feet. She shook with suppressed sobs as she tried to push the stars from her vision. She was remarkably close to fainting, and she shuddered at the thought of becoming unconscious in the presence of someone so heartless.

Bellatrix undid her jinx by lazily speaking the counter curse. She surveyed the girl with mixed revulsion and pride – an odd combination for such a feared Death Eater.

"Despite your original error, you redeemed yourself, girl. I see the same talent in you the Dark Lord perceived." Kiana was about to feel relieved when the next part came. "_However_, your ultimate weakness is your care for that boy, and it is hurting your progress immensely. You must learn to push all childish emotions from your mind or it may lead to your destruction. You will not learn anything from me if you don't forget all the sentimentalities of friendship, trust, and _love._" She spat the last word like Harry spoke Voldemort's name. "Do you understand me, girl?"

"Yes, my lady." Her voice seemed to come from miles away.

"I don't believe you; you are too used to saying things only to please. In order for me to be satisfied, I must go further. Let me into your mind, girl…"

*

Kiana stumbled from the classroom another hour later. The walls curved and swayed of their own accord, and Kiana could not tell where the ground began and where it ended. Eventually, weak from her injuries and Bellatrix's invasion of her mind, she stopped walking and let her energy waste away as she fell straight forward into…

Snape's arms.

She shook herself awake and struggled in his grip, but he was far too strong for her fragile body. He sensed something odd occurring within her, and, grabbing her hair painfully, he yanked her head back and forced her to look into his eyes. He witnessed the evening's events with a maddening expression, and Kiana prayed that he wasn't angry at her.

"She altered your mind," he observed, pure hatred creeping into his words. "And you failed to resist her. Dumbledore will want to know about this; it could prove tragic to your task."

All the pain of the evening was nothing in comparison to what Bellatrix had done to her in the end. The reality of it hit her like a thousand knives cutting and tearing her heart open. The truth rolled through her mind like a film reel that never ended: she had lost all love for Harry Potter. She no longer cared what happened to him, and, even worse, she did not dread the ultimate task of killing him. It would be all too easy. All that was left in her mind was pain, hatred, and an indescribable anger. She wanted to end the lives of all that threatened her and made her angry.

The pain was so intense she could hardly make out Snape's face any more. Her eyes were closing, and she was barely aware of the fact that Snape had lifted her off the floor and was carrying her away.

Bellatrix wanted to destroy Kiana's care for everyone she knew, and the witch had achieved that masterfully.


	7. Helplessness

Chapter Seven: Helplessness

The first duty of love is to listen.

**Paul Tillich**, _O Magazine, February 2004_

December 18th - 6 Days Left

"…specific obligation was to make sure nothing like this happened. Your carelessness has me very concerned…"

"Headmaster, I spoke to her only the day before and stressed the importance of keeping her sanity. Although no Death Eater is to be trusted to keep a promise, I believed Bellatrix realized the seriousness of her role. I was as shocked as you to realize what had transpired in that classroom."

A sudden, sickening urge to vomit flew through her as she experienced the intensity of her headache. She clutched her stomach and groaned, though she didn't have the strength to even try and retch. She instead lay frozen on the bed and stared at the inside of her eyelids as the intense voices floated to her from another room.

"What are you going to give the girl for it?" Snape's weary voice struck a cord in her. She had never heard such defeat before.

"The most powerful antidote we have available." Dumbledore seemed equally distressed. Kiana wondered what had caused both powerful wizards to experience such melancholy. "She will have to remain here until it either works or fails; it will not be safe for her to remain in the dormitories. But if we don't try something, Voldemort will claim her and she will never be able to come back."

Kiana longed to listen further; she couldn't quite grasp whom they were talking about. But it was difficult to stay focused and awake. The darkness beckoned to her and cast a chill over her body, making it nearly impossible to remain in her current world.

"How can I assist you?"

"Keep Harry away from her and my office for at least another week. After she has improved, we will test her."

With these words, the clouds covered her vision and she was lost.

*

_The dead grass tickled her feet as she strode across the ground. She twirled her wand between her fingers and ducked under a broken tree branch. She could smell him now. The stench of fear was impossible to miss, especially on a still night such as this._

_He noticed her when she stepped out of the forest. His green eyes were dark and wide, his chest heaving. She smiled at him as kindly as she could, but she knew the lust and anticipation were clear in her eyes. _

_"Why have you denied my gift for so long, Potter? You stare at me like I'm about to sacrifice you to the Dark Lord. I'm here to grant you the peace you've sought for so long."_

_The boy furiously glanced at the trees encircling him, as if hoping they would come alive and jump to his rescue. "You don't have to obey him, Kiana." He tried to make his words sound comforting, but his terror destroyed his efforts. "Remember how kind you were to everyone. Voldemort has tainted your mind. This is not who you were."_

_"You're right, Potter; this is not who I was. But it's who I want to be." She continued to play with her wand. She enjoyed watching his fearful eyes follow her motions. "Voldemort has released me from my pathetic shell that kept my power hidden from the world. I now have more self-confidence and joy than I know what to do with. He taught me to destroy all those childish emotions I carried in my heart – love, compassion, sympathy – and now I am no longer weak and bound to others. I can finally be free._

_"You can be free, too, Potter. Follow the Dark Lord and find a release from all your pitiful feelings. You will be a great aide in the fight against the Muggles."_

_His eyes flashed with anger. "You want me to fight with the people who killed my parents and best friends? You really have lost yourself, Kiana."_

_Kiana's laugh was high and cold enough to rival Voldemort's. "You understand nothing, Potter. I wish I could show you what you're missing, but you have tested my patience for too long. Crucio!"_

_Potter's screams widened her smile. She had been waiting for this moment for weeks. _

_Kiana longed to watch him suffer for hours on end, but she would rather kill him with his mind intact. Undoing the Unforgivable Curse, she crept up to the writhing boy with wand extended. She knelt down until their faces were inches from each other. _

_"And now, Harry Potter, you shall feel the consequence of your actions. You'll regret your obedience to Dumbledore after hours of agony, but by then it'll be too late. Say 'hi' to your Mudblood mother for me, will you? _

_"MORTACIOUS!"_

She thought Harry's screams were multiplying all around her, but soon she realized it was her own cries that were never-ending. She fought against the images being thrust through her mind, but something was holding her down.

It was unbearable not to be able to fight back – her arms and legs were paralyzed as someone poured a thick, cold substance down her throat. Coughing, she struggled to repel the disgusting liquid from her system, but somehow her body would not obey her. She swallowed willingly until her stomach was full and her haunting dreams vanished, leaving her in a paralyzing, empty darkness.

*

"How do you feel?"

She moaned and turned away from the form in front of her. She wanted that endless dark back, that place of thoughtless sleep. But the stupid man in her face was annoyingly persistent.

"Kiana…Kiana…"

"Go away! I want to sleep."

"You've been sleeping for two days."

"Then two more won't make any difference."

A flash of light blasted across her world, making her release a cry from within and break free from her weariness.

Dumbledore was sitting silently in a chair beside her bed. His searching eyes made her uncomfortable, and she turned to face the wall her bed was propped up against.

In her short survey of her surroundings, Kiana had realized that she was in a small, empty room somewhere above the staircase of Dumbledore's study. Had she really been there for days? It seemed like she had only arrived.

"Kiana, you must listen to me. Your life is at stake if you don't." Dumbledore's tone was remarkably casual, but Kiana was careful enough to notice the concern hidden beneath.

She carefully turned back on her side to see his face. "Why should you care about my life? You're the one who threw it away in the first place."

He flinched ever so slightly. "I never wanted this to happen, Kiana; you must understand that. I did not thoughtlessly fling you to Voldemort. I thought that under Snape's supervision you would be safe from harm, but events quickly became uncontrollable ever since Voldemort perceived your promising talent. I'm trying to reverse the effects of Bellatrix's curse as we speak. Hopefully within a few days you will experience some of your old emotions."

Kiana grunted. "Why would I want that? I don't know why you're trying to fix whatever happened to me…those disgusting Americans aren't worth my time, and Potter's definitely not worthy of my affections. I want nothing more than to leave them all behind."

Pure despondency flashed across Dumbledore's face, so strong that Kiana fixed her gaze on the bare wall behind him.

"You may regret your words soon enough." He spoke so softly she had to concentrate to make his words out. "You will be released from this room in days' time, and hopefully by then you can return to your normal life. For now, think carefully over what I have said."

For the rest of her life, Kiana would never know a time that dragged on longer or more painfully than the moments she spent in Dumbledore's solitary room. She tried to make the time move faster by sleeping whenever she could, but her sleep was always far from restful. She was only forced to drink the horrid potion when she was in the middle of R.E.M. sleep, which caused intense disruption and agony during sometimes relaxing dreams. She never knew why the potion had to be administered then, but she figured it was because her resistances were at their lowest at that time.

Time was constantly her enemy, moving as slowly and painfully as a dagger digging into the skin. There was no clock in her room, she possessed no watch, and without a window she had no knowledge of the time of day. Eventually, when she could stand the silence no longer, she grabbed her wand and headed for the door.

"_Alohomora!_"

She had expected the door to be locked. She was furious when the door blasted open easily, her spell having found no resistance.

_Dumbledore left it unlocked all this time! And I sat here like an obedient dork while freedom was merely a few paces away._

Sparks flew from her wand as she raced down the spiral gold staircase, across the landing holding Dumbledore's desk, and through the cluster of glass cases of magical items toward the front door. She could have kicked herself when she found the entrance door unlocked as well.

The moon was high in the sky and shed an eerie glow onto the polished floors of the corridors as Kiana streaked past door after door. She hadn't met anyone in Dumbledore's office nor the dark hallways, but she sensed a presence behind her that she couldn't shake.

The shadows were playing tricks on her. She slowed her pace at the increased pounding of her heart and studied the doors and walls with dread. She clutched her wand so tightly her knuckles turned white, and she feared she was to have a heart attack before she reached her dorm. Why couldn't she shake the fear in her mind? There was no one following her…no one was even awake…

As she thought this, the pounding of footsteps resounded down the hall and stopped Kiana in her tracks. She fell against the wall, clutching her heart as it raced with ferocity. What doom was approaching her with such hurried paces?

A tall, slim figure shrouded in darkness appeared from behind the corner, but its presence did not increase her fear. She recognized the muscles of the person's arms, the frazzled hair, and the small, dark glasses.

Harry Potter stepped into the moonlight, and Kiana was shocked to see the paleness of his face. He was shaking, as if he had thought to be pursued instead of her.

Kiana didn't know what to feel as she stared at the boy she had once loved. Her mind whirled as she fought to sort through all that was in her heart, but it was difficult to retrieve the emotions she longed for. What had happened to her? What had she done to deserve such a cold heart?

"Kiana."

Tears filled her eyes at the sound of his voice. He was so tender, so compassionate, so loving…and she didn't deserve it. She deserved to be brushed off by him, perhaps even scolded and yelled at. Didn't he know why she didn't deserve to be treated with such sympathy?

Harry knew none of her thoughts as he approached her and tenderly reached up to stroke her face. She instantly turned away and pushed him aside, trying to shield her tears with her hands.

"Go away, Harry," she hissed through her teeth. "You shouldn't be here. You need to leave…" She tried to hide her grief through hatred and anger like she had been taught, but his compassionate eyes brought out the weakness in her.

"Kiana, what happened?" His soft voice tore at her heart like nothing else did. "Please tell me. I tried to ask Dumbledore about your absence from classes, but he remained aloof and refused to tell me anything. I need to hear it from you. How can I help you if you don't lean on me?"

_This is exactly what I warned you about! _Bellatrix's cruel voice spoke to her from the dark part of her mind. _Your friends will bring out your weakness and destroy all the power and strength you've fought so hard to build. You need to push them away with your anger and then you can be free._

She gritted her teeth and met his gaze with fury. "I don't need to tell you anything! I don't need your sympathy or your help. Why do you always need to be the hero, Potter? You're constantly trying to save other people from the horror of the world, but you never ask their permission. Well, I'm going to be the first to tell you the reality – people don't want your help! _I _don't want your help. I'm strong enough to overcome my sorrows on my own. Leave me be!"

She spun on her heel and had taken a step when Harry clamped his hand around her arm and held her there. She fought him, but her body was not as strong as her voice had been. She was helpless as he turned her to face him and he glimpsed the tears streaking down her cheeks. She wept bitterly as he searched her eyes for her true emotions, and she prayed he didn't discover the secrets of her heart.

"I don't deny that my past actions have been foolhardy, but I am not foolish enough to turn away from someone who is drowning. You are barely keeping your head above water, Kiana, and I fear that the next time I see you you'll be in a casket. I don't know what is happening to you, but I fear for you. I've feared for you ever since Hermione told me her own misgivings. If this is about Voldemort, I need to know. I'm not unaware of his madness, as the world knows. Please, Kiana…don't turn away from me."

His compassion was tearing her apart, and she feared the longer she stayed there listening to his kind words and glimpsing the tears in his eyes, the more torture she'd receive from Bellatrix for her failings. She had to get away from him now or she'd lose herself in his eyes…

"You can't help me, Harry," she whispered tearfully. "So you'd better give up now."

She spun around and pulled herself from his grip. She had willed her feet to run when Harry grasped her arm and pulled her toward him with amazing strength. She had just opened her mouth to yell when he pressed his lips against hers and kissed her with intense passion.

All her barriers melted away as she dropped her wand to the floor and wrapped her arms around his neck, pushing her body tighter against his and soaking in all the sensations of the kiss. His hand wove delicately through her hair and a delightful spasm passed through her body. His touch sent her heart racing again until she thought she might explode with pleasure. She reached a hand up through his shirt and felt the tight muscles of his back and chest. He shivered and kissed her harder.

When he finally pulled away and stared into her eyes, she knew nothing was shielding the love in her heart. She could not stop her tears, although now she wept for all the moments she had lost with him.

The same love was held in his eyes as he leaned forward and whispered, "Don't cry, Kiana. It's going to be okay. It's all okay now."

She smiled as he bent and pulled her up into his arms. Leaning her head against his broad chest, she let her body relax as Harry carried her down the hallway which had previously brought so much fear. Now she couldn't remember what had concerned her, and the meetings with Voldemort and Bellatrix were a long forgotten memory.

Her whole world was wrapped up in the boy who carried her now.

*

Harry awoke with the sun's rising the following day. The rays of light filtered through his open curtains and landed lightly on his back, warming his bare skin. He smiled and allowed the warmth to fill him up and clear his mind of any thought. He became weightless and satisfied as the heat from his cotton blanket and the girl beside him relaxed every muscle in his body.

Harry raised his head as the sound of gentle breathing reached his ears. Kiana was lounging on her stomach by his side and, as he leaned over farther, he noticed a content smile on her face as she slept. She was adorable when she was relaxed and happy, he noticed. During the day she always seemed to have lines across her forehead and a tight jaw. She was on guard all day, as if she believed every student at Hogwarts had a grudge against her.

This was not how he remembered her being at the beginning of the year. When Hermione had first pointed her out to him, he had been impressed with her gentle demeanor and beaming grin. Her hair had been a light brown then, and if he caught the sun's light dancing across her head, the strands glimmered with fragments of blond.

Harry ran his fingers softly through her hair now, and he frowned at the dark tresses that curled around his fingers. It was a shade shy of black, and the separate hairs were coarse and stiff like they'd been washed too many times. But the color was rich and deep, something that would be hard to create with ordinary dyes. Harry knew little about beauty spells, but he was certain that only a complex jinx or curse could create such a permanent appearance change. And why would she want to change her hair color anyway? Her natural color was stunning and brought out the rich hues of her eyes.

Harry no longer felt the warmth of the sun as he laid his head back onto his pillow and allowed the previous night's occurrences to return to his thoughts.

He had been awoken around midnight with a jolt, as if someone had jinxed him in his sleep. His room was eerily silent, his roommates all deep asleep and unaware of his fear. He was about to return to his dreams when a thud on the stairs destroyed the silence of the night.

Being familiar to strange incidences in the dead of night, Harry grabbed his wand and robe and rushed down the spiraling staircase after the noise. A small flicker of light outside the portrait hole caught his eye, and Harry wasted no time as he crawled through the Fat Lady's portrait and out into the pitch black corridor. A figure clothed in black was running down the hall to his right, and Harry raced after him. He didn't bother to light his wand; the glow from the stranger's wand was enough to keep him from running into a wall, and he didn't want to give himself away.

Harry had recognized the path the stranger was taking almost instantly. He was headed toward the stone gargoyle below Dumbledore's office, and Harry couldn't restrain his curiosity as to why. The figure was about half a foot taller than him, leading him to the conclusion that it wasn't a student. When Harry was a few turns away from the gargoyle, the wand light from the stranger was extinguished, thrusting Harry into blind darkness. He had no choice but to mutter "_lumos_" and hold his wand aloft.

That's when he had heard Kiana approaching. The fear and distress portrayed on her hard features was ten times more disturbing to him than his rude awakening. Her hair was matted, her school robes wrinkled, and her eyes held distrust even when she noticed him. Hermione's words had returned to him then:

_"I'm worried about her, Harry. Previously she had been as diligent with homework and class attendance as me, but now it's normal for her to miss one class a day and even flunk an exam. She hardly ever hangs out with me or her American friends anymore, and I've heard from Michelle that she is quite rude and distant when speaking to them. Something is seriously wrong with her, but I can't figure out what. She wants no one's help; she seems determined to suffer by herself."_

Harry now desired to talk with Kiana that morning before her behavior got any worse. Although she was resolute in keeping her secret hidden, he thought that she might be willing to tell him something…_anything_…now that she was alone with him. She had fallen asleep almost instantly after he had set her in his bed. He was tempted to wake her now to get the conversation over with, but the peacefulness on her face tugged at his heart. This was the way she used to look, for no one glimpsed her warm smile nowadays. She seemed to be beyond happiness, beyond fun. If he had been around her more and talked to her regularly, would he have been able to stop her depression? It was no lie that he had experienced feelings toward her from the beginning, so why had it taken so long for him to act on them?

With a sigh, Harry closed his eyes and tried to clear his head. Subconsciously, he slipped his hand under her sweater and rubbed his hand across her back. Instantly his eyes snapped open and his hand froze in mid-motion. Nausea swept over him like a tide as he pulled her sweater higher up and glimpsed the destruction she had hidden from him.

Harry could not find a patch of skin that had not been ripped apart. Dozens of slashes grazed her back, so many that Harry felt sick as he tried counting them. A few were completely healed, leaving a long, silver scar, while others were fresh and bleeding. The thickness of the cuts terrified him, and his heart seemed to be stuck in his throat. Who could have done this to her? No Muggle torture device could have produced such deep, painful marks…it had to be some sort of spell. A Dark spell, no doubt, that Harry had never heard of.

Harry pulled her sweater back down with a shaking hand and laid his head upon her back before wrapping an arm around her waist. Kiana shifted and moaned in her sleep, but soon her normal breathing returned. He was thankful she had not awoken as he was surveying her back; for surely she would never speak to him again if she knew he had discovered her best-kept secret.

But what was he to do with this secret now that it was revealed to him? Going to Dumbledore seemed like the only thing to do. It would be foolish to demand that Kiana seek help on her own; she would never do it, this he was certain of. If someone was hurting her and she was helpless to stop the torture, Harry had to be the one to save her.

He would not willingly let his girl suffer now that he had found her. She was worth more to him than that.


	8. Torn

**Chapter Eight: Torn**

Honesty is the only way with anyone, when you'll be so close as to be living inside each other's skins.

**Lois McMaster Bujold**, _A Civil Campaign, 1999_

"One fairer than my love? The all-seeing sun  
Ne'er saw her match since first the world begun."

**William Shakespeare**, _Romeo and Juliet_, 1.2

*** *December 20th - 4 Days Left* ***

Kiana returned from the forest only an hour after leaving the security of her bed, but it seemed like she had lingered among the trees for days. Her arms were scratched and bleeding from the branches digging into her skin, but she hardly noticed as the screams of the thestrals rang in her ears. She had done well regardless of the emotional pain it caused her; she had tortured the creatures as effortlessly as levitating a stone. Her mind had been walled off from all emotions just like Bellatrix had taught her, but the aftereffects of such efforts were unbearable. She hated herself for what she had done, but what could she do about it? Bellatrix's word was law, and Kiana had enough marks on her body from _obeying _her commands. Disobeying would account for double that amount.

But it was ironic how much pain you can give creatures of the dead.

Shouts from the Quidditch field brought her out of her agonizing thoughts. She peered up heavenward and glimpsed Draco Malfoy racing after the Snitch in the cloudless sky. He was alone, drilling himself like one obsessed with perfection.

"I was thinking the same thing."

Kiana spun around as Harry approached her with a smile. His scarlet Quidditch robes brought stark contrast to the newly fallen snow, and Kiana thought the snowflakes in his hair made his green eyes even more dazzling.

_He couldn't look ugly even if he tried…_

"Oh, and what _was _I thinking, Mr. Legilimency?" She smirked as he leaned in to kiss her softly on the lips.

"That Malfoy needs a new hobby," Harry replied. "He's been on that pitch since dawn. He's taking the upcoming match a bit too seriously, which, for me, is saying something."

He paused and studied her thoughtfully. "Why haven't you been to the last couple Quidditch matches? There was one last weekend - Slytherin against Hufflepuff. I thought you'd be there."

His gaze was prying her for information, but she kept her eyes focused on Malfoy as he dived toward the winged, golden ball.

"Life is not all about sports," she said softly, though she regretted it soon enough. Harry's life _did_ center around Quidditch, after all. "I mean…" she flashed him a smile to lessen the sting. "It's not as important to _me _as other things…like schoolwork."

Harry raised his eyebrows. "Oh, I see; school always comes first, huh? Then why did you fail your last DADA exam?"

Kiana's jaw clenched as she sauntered off toward the changing rooms. She had noticed a certain brunette lad enter the building - Maxwell Simonson, the youngest sibling and only brother of Michelle and Jennifer.

"Stop being so nosy, Potter," she called back at him. It had returned - the intense annoyance and anger that had plagued her since that first meeting with Snape. It took great concentration nowadays to constantly keep her tone level and light. Why did she always feel intense emotions over such small things?

She stopped in her tracks at the thought. _Snape_. He had done something to her, something that had affected her from the beginning. And with him and Bellatrix constantly entering her mind, it was no wonder she was beginning to acquire their personal emotions and thoughts. They were changing her mind without permission! How dare…

"I'm being nosy for your own good." Kiana jumped at the sound of his voice. He was replying to something she had said, but she couldn't remember what it was. He stepped up to her side and lightly touched her shoulder, but she shook him off, consumed in her hatred toward the two Death Eaters.

Harry sensed that her mind was somewhere else, so he made her face him. She tried to direct her attention elsewhere, but somehow his piercing eyes were impossible to turn away from.

"Kiana, why won't you tell me what's bothering you?" He searched her eyes for some sort of emotion, and Kiana prayed that they were as blank as Snape's. "Surely it won't do you any harm to tell me the truth; I promise I won't tell anyone."

"Oh, Harry." She lowered her head, struggling to keep the tears from forming. "I wish I could tell you. More than anything I wish I could…"

"Then why not?" Impatience burned through his words. "How will it affect anything?"

"_It'll only destroy both our lives, Harry," _she longed to say. But the truth was to be kept as secret as her nighttime visits to the secluded classroom. She was only keeping it secret for his own good. That's what she had to keep reminding herself: it was for his own good…

Kiana blinked the tears away and met his eyes with determination. "I made a vow not to tell anyone anything. To break that vow would be dangerous." She was proud to hear that her voice was unwavering, but it also sounded cold and distant…almost inhuman.

Harry released his hold on her shoulder and stared back with disappointment and a clear, agonizing pain. Kiana couldn't look at his face anymore. Why had she fallen into his arms so easily? Why had she succumbed to that intense sympathetic look of his? He was her victim; he was to die at her own hand. It would be cruel to make him love her and then break his heart. That's something only a Death Eater would do.

_But aren't you a Death Eater now? _a tiny voice whispered, casting a chill over her heart. She wouldn't listen to it. She couldn't listen to it; it was Bellatrix's voice. Bellatrix did not know her true emotions. Indeed, the witch was trying to destroy her past self slowly and painfully. And she was succeeding…

The tears had come, just like they always did. She shielded her face with her hands and struggled to control her emotions. Harry wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders, but this only made it worse. She pulled away and headed toward the Quidditch field, determined to initiate a conversation with Max to keep her mind off Harry.

She did not look back, but she knew how much pain was portrayed on Harry's face as she deserted him. Pain that only she had given him but could not take away.

*

"Did you hear Jenny's news?"

Max chuckled as he hung his robes up in his locker. "Two weeks ago. I had heard of Jenny's secret love from day one at Hogwarts. But even though her crush was obvious to the world, I was surprised Seamus fell for her. I thought he was chasing after Michelle, actually…"

Kiana's eyes widened. "Really? I had never noticed that."

"Well, you don't notice much nowadays."

He had muttered the words so quietly Kiana barely caught them, but she understood the tone of his voice nonetheless. But she had lost the strength to become angry; Harry's pained face was still attached to her mind.

"I guess there are only two options then, right?" She narrowed her eyes at the boy as he changed into a clean shirt. "I should get down on my hands and knees and beg the entire school for forgiveness, although I'm not completely sure what my sin is, or I should distance myself from the world forever. Clearly I cannot have my own life and have friends at the same time."

"No, you just can't have a _mysterious _life," Max replied, sitting down beside her on the bench. "Michelle and Jenny are worried about you, but they don't want to show it so they get mad at you instead. They don't like that you're keeping secrets."

Kiana sighed and fooled with the laces of her sneakers. "Well, I can't do anything about that. I have to keep secrets, but no one will accept that explanation. Can't you talk to them, Max? Tell them that I just want to stop fighting? Surely they'll listen to you."

Max laughed openly. "You really _have_ been living in your own world, Kiana. My sisters are always lost in their own social life. Jenny's wrapped up around Seamus, and Michelle is, currently, chasing after Draco."

Kiana grinned at this surprising announcement. Obviously she had not yet learned that Malfoy was interested in no one but himself and his social status.

"No one is going to let their brother try and solve their personal problems," Max finished.

"So they're both equally mad at me?"

Max shrugged. "Like I said, I think they're just frustrated with your silence. They want life to be like the old times, when all of you were together and joking around."

_Well, that's never going to happen. If only I could tell them how drastically my life is changing and will continue to change._

"Can you do me one favor at least?"

Max nodded. "Shoot."

"Tell them that I still care and I'll be around if they want to talk."

"Sure thing. Just take care of yourself, okay? I care what happens to you, too."

Kiana smiled, but it seemed fake even to her. "I'll try my best."

**  
***** *December 21st - 3 Days Left* ***

Everywhere she looked there was a reminder of the holiday she was determined to avoid. From strings of lights over every doorway to magical snow falling from the castle ceilings, the Christmas excitement was contagious. The Great Hall was the most lavishly decorated – an enormous Christmas tree, large enough to cover a third of an American football field, was decorated with thousands of tiny ornaments and crystal icicles. Bulbs of colored lights shot glimmering beams through the hall, blinding onlookers momentarily when the light bounced off tables and walls.

It was almost impossible to leave the Great Hall after being surrounded by the magic of the tree and the joyful choruses of Christmas songs sung by the House ghosts (although Peeves tried to ruin the effect by interjecting inappropriate phrases in the middle of each song). Even the staff of Hogwarts had given up trying to teach difficult topics. They knew they had lost their students' attention weeks ago.

"So what are you going to do for Christmas?"

Hermione's voice snapped Kiana out of her dark thoughts, and she stopped rotating her fork through her pile of mashed potatoes. "I don't know. I'll probably just exchange presents with my friends and then help Hagrid feed the twelve-foot long pythons in the Forbidden Forest."

Hermione's eyes widened. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" she asked in a petrified whisper. "I could have talked to him! He should have learned ages ago not to bring deadly creatures onto school grounds. If Professor Dumbledore…"

She halted at the teasing smile Kiana passed her.

"Kiana! That's _so _not funny! Hagrid could very well be…"

"I know," Kiana interrupted, laughing. "I'm sorry; I couldn't resist. There isn't any creature more dangerous than the centaurs in the Forbidden Forest."

"Then what are you _really_ doing for Christmas?"

Kiana's smile disappeared, and she resumed playing with her dinner. "I have no plans. You probably know that I've been having…issues…with my little clique. So of course I haven't been drowning in invitations to parties recently."

Hermione smiled sympathetically. "You should hang out with us! Ron, Harry and I are going to The Three Broomsticks. They have the most fabulous parties there. Last year they brought in a real reindeer and made it fly around the room! Then they took a tree and…"

Kiana feigned attention as her mind stuck at the words "Harry and I." She instantly shoved her plate away, afraid she might vomit all over it. She held a hand to her mouth and pushed a wave of nausea down. Hermione didn't know that she and Ron were actually planning an unexpected date on Christmas. Harry would be spending the holidays six feet under; this was certain now. If Kiana didn't complete her task, Voldemort would. There was no hope for Harry's survival with the infamous Christmas Eve date approaching rapidly. No hope at all.

"Hermione, I think the pork chops aren't agreeing with me. I should go to the restroom just in case…"

Hermione, interrupted in the middle of her detailed explanation of Madam Rosmerta's famous Christmas Brew, frowned at Kiana's words and slowly nodded. "Should I go with you?"

"No, no…I'll be fine. I'll see you in class tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay. I hope you're not getting sick. Something's definitely going around now with the temperature dropping…"

"I'll take medicine. Don't worry. See you."

Hermione sadly waved good-bye as Kiana threw her backpack over one shoulder and rushed from the cheerful chatter of her classmates. Tears had begun to fill her eyes, and she hoped Hermione hadn't spotted them. Kiana hadn't before considered the fact that Harry's death would occur the day before Christmas. All the excitement in the castle would be quickly destroyed with the news of Harry Potter's demise. The terrible truth would demolish all festivities and celebrations through out England, for no one expected the wizarding world's hero to be killed off so unexpectedly, so terribly. He was, after all, The Chosen One. The Boy Who Lived. How could he have died in the end at the hand of Voldemort?

_No, not the hand of Voldemort; the hand of his girlfriend. _She shivered as she headed to the kitchens where the Hufflepuff Common Room was located.

"Kiana?"

She didn't respond to the voice right away. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to thrust his voice from her head. But when she realized Harry's voice had not come from her memory, her eyelids flew open.

"Harry!"

The boy smiled shyly and approached her with his hands in his robe pockets. He was still a good distance from her, but the bags under his eyes stood out like his famous scar.

"Sorry if I startled you," he muttered, glancing behind him as if afraid he was being tracked. "But I thought you might be coming back from supper now. I wanted to show you something, if you aren't doing anything…"

Kiana glanced at the entrance to the Common Room with longing. She hated to admit it, but right then she wanted to be anywhere than in Harry Potter's presence. Especially when her mind was clouded with thoughts of his looming death…

"Please, Kiana." He had read her face quick enough. "I…wanted to apologize for my behavior yesterday. I didn't mean to pry into your personal business, but I'm just worried about you. I want to know that you're not getting into something that'll hurt you."

Kiana sighed and studied the black laces of her shoes. She wanted to calm his fears more than anything, but she knew that any words she spoke would become exactly what they were – a lie. But she couldn't blow him off completely; her task was to get him vulnerable. However, ever since she had been force fed the potion that lessened Bellatrix's influences in her mind, her feelings toward Harry had blossomed and she had been unable to plan how she was to murder him. But if she didn't do it soon, Harry would not be the only death during the holidays.

She hadn't noticed him creep closer to her, and she jumped when he touched her arm. His green eyes pierced her with his helplessness, and Kiana melted under his gaze. She could not run from him now.

"What did you want to show me?"

Harry smiled, visibly relieved. "Follow me and I'll show you."

*

"You wanted to show me a _wall_?"

Harry smiled mysteriously. "Just wait." He shut his eyes and passed by the same spot three times. Just when Kiana was about to voice aloud her skepticism, a solid door appeared in the wall. Kiana gasped and glanced down the hall, but nobody seemed to have noticed.

"What is it?"

"It's called the Room of Requirement. Anything will appear behind this door if you ask for it properly. Once you're inside, the door will disappear, keeping you in a completely private and safe room."

Kiana continued to gawk at the door. "So what did you ask for?"

Harry laughed. "That would ruin the surprise, wouldn't it?" He raised his arms and covered her eyes with his hands.

Kiana's face broke into a grin. "Harry, what are you doing? This is silly…"

"You think a door appearing on a bare wall is silly?" he joked, leading her toward the wall.

Kiana cautiously stepped forward. "No, but if you smash me into the wall I swear I'll…"

"Trust me."

She didn't realize they were standing inside the Room of Requirement until a sharp whiff of peppermint hit her nose, making her inhale deeper.

"Okay, are you ready?"

"Ready."

Harry removed his hands. Kiana cried out, her hands flying to cover her gaping mouth. She had expected to find herself in a small, enclosed classroom, but instead they were both standing in the middle of what appeared to be a log cabin. The brick walls of Hogwarts had disappeared, replaced with real wood logs that stretched up toward the ceiling to form a wooden arch. A stone fireplace directly in front of them held a crackling fire, the flames sending dancing shadows over the wood paneling under their feet.

Kiana's heart raced as she studied the tall pine Christmas tree near the fireplace. Snowflake ornaments hovered unsupported over each branch, spinning rapidly in place and shooting sparkles of light over the entire room. The gold star on top of the tree could have been taken from the sky itself – it twinkled softly as red sparks flew from its five tips.

Harry motioned to the wooden table positioned against the right wall. Two high-backed oak chairs were placed at each end, and Kiana gasped as two steaming coffee mugs appeared beside each. She stepped forward and inhaled fresh spices from the mug closest to her.

"Hot apple cider? Oh Harry…"

"Popular among the people in your state, correct?" Harry beamed as he took a seat across from her. "I'm becoming quite fond of it myself. It's almost as good as Butterbeer…"

Kiana took a sip from her mug and smiled contentedly. It was the perfect temperature – not hot enough to burn your tongue or too cold to enjoy it properly. She glanced up at Harry and whispered, "It's perfect. I had no idea something like this could exist at Hogwarts, and neither did I expect you to imagine something so completely…Minnesotan."

Harry chuckled and studied the spinning snowflakes. "I did some research. I almost wish that we were coming in from one of your infamous Minnesota snowstorms. Then this warm fire and hot drink would be even more pleasurable."

Kiana shuddered. "Don't wish for things you don't understand, Harry. If we were coming in from a snowstorm, we'd be too cold to enjoy _anything_."

She loved the way the fire light danced in his eyes and how precisely he drank from his mug. He held his pinky finger up as he took each sip, just like a stereotypical British tea drinker.

"What are you smiling at, Karn?"

Her grin widened. "Oh nothing. Just how well you'd adjust to Minnesota if you ever visited."

"If?" Harry raised his eyebrows. "You'd think I wouldn't come see your birthplace just because it's in another country?"

Kiana shrugged, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks. She glanced down and fooled with the red handle of her mug, but before she knew it, Harry was kneeling beside her and lifting her chin up to look at him.

"Kiana, I brought you here not just to give you a moment of peace, but also to express my feelings to you. When I asked you out awhile back I was not wishing to date casually. You know, that ridiculous every-other-week rendez-vous. I've begun to care about you deeply during this school year, and I wanted to tell you that no matter what you're struggling with, I will not leave you. You don't have to withhold information in fear that I'll desert you."

Kiana's jaw shook as she struggled to keep her sorrow hidden, but soon her efforts became futile. How could anyone look into his compassionate eyes and not tear up? He was revealing his most secret emotions to her, and it broke her heart that she could not do the same.

"I've slowly begun to realize that I can't refuse to enter into relationships in fear that Voldemort will use my loved ones to get to me. It would tear me apart to keep my girlfriends a secret from the world; I have to lead as normal a life as possible or else I'll go crazy. That promise is going to start with you. I've never felt this way about anyone before, Kiana. Even when you're angry at me I can't be angry with you. It hurts me to see you so closed up inside, to be so dead to the world. I wish I could take all your pain away, but I can't if you don't share it with me. Give your heart to me, Kiana, and I promise I'll treasure it forever. I would never hurt you, you know that. And to concrete that promise, I have this…"

She could only watch as Harry withdrew a square box from his pocket. "I apologize for giving you your Christmas present a little early, but I thought now would be a good time."

He handed the box to her, and Kiana's hands shook as she took it and untied the bright green ribbon securing the cover. Inside, wrapped carefully in white tissue paper, was a thin, silver bracelet inscribed with the words: _L'amour conquerra tous_.

"What does it mean?"

"Love will conquer all," Harry read, pointing to each word as he spoke. "I bought it when I traveled to France with Ron and Hermione one summer. It's a little cheesy, I know, but I knew I would want to give it to someone special one day. Whenever you look at these words, I want you to remember that I will always be here for you…no matter what happens."

It was too much. Since September she had longed for him to say exactly what he had spoken to her now, but when her wish had finally been granted she could not enjoy any of it. She recalled Bellatrix's warning at their last meeting:

_"Say a word, Karn, a single word to Potter about our plan, and I will use Crucio on you so many times you'll end up just like the Longbottoms. Your precious boy is safer now in his ignorance than he'll ever be. You don't want to threaten his safety, do you?" _

Kiana covered her tear-stained cheeks with her hands, but Harry gently pulled them away. She could tell by the desperate look on his face that he was wishing he knew Ligilimency. She opened her mouth, desperate to lessen the pain in her heart by speaking one word, _one word _of the truth, but she forced herself to remain silent. She would deeply regret it if she spoke now.

Realizing he was going to get nothing out of her, Harry sighed and took her into his arms. He softly kissed the tears from her cheeks, moving in a steady line to her mouth, where Kiana longingly kissed him back. It was the only thing she could do – express her love through her kiss. Hopefully he would receive her message, hopefully his own pain would disappear when he realized she still cared for him…and hopefully he would never know of his inevitable death until the last possible moment.

The minutes and hours blurred together as they expressed their love for each other in the peaceful cabin within Hogwarts. When the last flicker of flame had long died out and the fire embers were hardly discernable, Kiana fell asleep on Harry's chest on the newly established couch. It had appeared without her noticing, but that was irrelevant to her. All that mattered was that Harry was not angry with her at her persistent silence; his passionate kisses easily proved that. Peaceful dreams came to her mind as Harry stroked her long, thick hair and she listened to the soft beating of his heart.

She did not even remember that his heart's beats were but a temporary blessing.


	9. The Act to End It All

**Chapter Nine: The Act to End It All**

"These violent delights have violent ends  
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,  
Which as they kiss consume."  
- **William Shakespeare**, _Romeo and Juliet_, 2.3

* ***December 22nd - 2 Days Left*** *

She awoke shaking and cold. Sweat pored from her forehead as she tried to make out her surroundings from the glow of the Christmas lights. She felt Harry's chest rise from under her, and with a shock she realized she had fallen asleep on top of him. She raised herself on her arms, her stomach clenching at the reality of spending a night with _him. _

_You've gotten nothing accomplished by your childish frivolities! _Kiana chastised herself as she carefully pulled herself off Harry and jumped from the couch. _Your weakness is abhorrent. You had him right in your grasp the entire night, and instead you cried your fears to him like a child!_

Rage, hot and painful, flared up within her and tempted her to blast something in the room, an activity that usually comforted her when the world became unbearable. But she did not want to wake the boy up; he didn't need to find her in such a state. Discovering from her wristwatch that it was just after dawn, Kiana conjured up a piece of parchment and quill from midair and scribbled a note down.

_Harry,___

_ I needed to prepare for my morning class, but you looked so comfortable I didn't want to wake you. I hope you slept well and I'll see you sometime later this week. Thank you again for such a magical night!___

_ All my love, ___

_ Kiana _

She figured that was enough to keep the clueless boy satisfied. Of course she wasn't actually planning to attend any of her classes today – she had much more important work to do. She only had two days left to murder the boy, and if she kept going at the pace she was, Voldemort would end up doing it for her. And she hadn't prepped for weeks for _that _to happen! She wanted the boy to see her cast the spell herself. Oh, how she would enjoy glimpsing the shock and horror in his eyes!

Kiana had just exited the Room of Requirement when something cold slid down her forearm. Frowning, she studied the silver bracelet and the foreign words inscribed upon it. A pain so intense hit her head that she fell against the wall, clutching her forehead and gasping for breath. Her vision blurred as the events of the previous night found their way to the forefront of her mind, and Kiana's eyes widened with terror.

What had happened to her? Why had she been planning Harry's death just moments ago, and now she couldn't get his kiss out of her mind?

Tears threatened to form, but she pushed them back, determined to let anger replace them. She knew what had happened – Dumbledore's potion had weakened momentarily in her body, letting Bellatrix's spell attack her with all fierceness. Her two selves, both strong and persistent, were battling over her mind and actions. It wouldn't be long before the Death Eater side won out, for she had been experiencing an increase in her dark emotions for days now.

How could she live like this? What if she was with Harry and she suddenly experienced the urge to curse him? All would be destroyed – both her hopes for a relationship with him as well as Dumbledore's unbearable request to find good grounds with the Death Eaters. But what could she do about it? Going to the Headmaster was foolhardy; he had already proved that he would make her life more complicated if she asked for assistance. But there was someone else who would make a good target for her rage…

Grabbing her wand from her robes, she sprinted down the corridor and attempted to find the staircase leading down to the dungeons.

*

"You talk of me submitting myself to the Dark Lord, but then make it impossible for me to do so! How can you yell at me for my failures when you're involved in the plot to keep me from succeeding?"

Severus Snape glanced up lazily from his work as Kiana burst into his dungeon office. "What are you on about, Karn?"

"You know perfectly well, Snape!" she sneered, approaching his desk and pointing her wand at his head. "You wish for me to gain Potter's favor while plotting to murder him, but how can I do so when so many of you have toyed with my mind? I cannot even _attempt _to cast the '_mortacious'_ spell when part of my mind is in love with him! Is this some sort of clever twist to throw me into Voldemort's waiting hands? Because as of now I'm on the road to my own destruction!"

Snape pursed his lips in annoyance and folded his hands over the essay he was correcting. "Put your wand away, girl; there is no need for this to turn into a dueling match."

Kiana raised her eyebrows. "Oh, isn't there?" Acting quickly, she envisioned the words_ "Petrificus totalus" _in her mind and shot a jet of light at the professor. She was momentarily stunned when Snape's wand flew to his hand from a nearby shelf and he summoned a shield charm, her spell bouncing off Snape's shield with ease.

"_Incarcerous!" _Snape cried.

Kiana broke free of her daze. "_Protego!" _

Snape thrust another spell at her the moment his first had bounced off her shield. Kiana used her resentment as an ally to increase the power of her spells. But Snape's impulses and timing were near perfect, and several times she was afraid his curses would hit. After a minute of dueling without a hit on either side, Kiana could stand Snape's game no longer.

"CONFRINGO!" she screamed.

Snape ducked to avoid the blasting charm. The spell bounced off the wall and hit Snape's largest shelf containing dozens of potion-filled glass bottles. Zooming from one container to the other, Kiana's spell shattered each with an ear-splitting CRASH and sent glass flying through the room. Kiana shrieked and fell onto all fours, tossing her arms over her head. She felt hundreds of glass pieces cover her like hard raindrops, and she didn't lift her head until the explosions caused by the curse had ceased.

Snape eyed her with revulsion as he brushed glass fragments from his robes. "_Clearly_ you do not understand the importance of controlling your emotions before casting powerful spells!" His tone was murderous, but Kiana refused to look away as she untangled glass from her thick hair.

"Don't you _dare_ criticize me for this!" she hissed. "You brought this upon yourself, Snape. Next time you'll actually listen to me before labeling my frustrations as 'insignificant.'"

Snape narrowed his eyes at her. "Why, pray tell, should I listen to your passionate speeches when you ignore my advice anyway? You clearly think you know better in any given situation, so why not put your God-given wisdom to use?"

Kiana's jaw dropped. "What gave you the idea that I think so highly of myself? Besides, how can I even _begin_ to think for myself when every minute my thoughts change drastically? Remove whatever spell you placed upon me, Snape, or you'll fully understand the consequences when I fail Dumbledore's task!"

"No spell placed on you is prohibiting your success, Karn." His black eyes scanned her like an x-ray, making her uncomfortable. "It's your doubt about your ability to succeed that is causing your changing emotions, as well as your weakness where Potter is involved. I cannot help you if you don't try to master your infatuation, but know that it will be your downfall if you continue at this rate. Your current failures have me concerned for your life."

Kiana spat ruefully onto the floor. "Rubbish!" she hissed. "You wouldn't care for me if I were being slashed to pieces at Bellatrix's feet. I don't believe what you say about all this being my own doing. I think you just can't accept your own part in my fate. I pray that you'll experience some regret when the students of Hogwarts are murdered at my own hand."

Without waiting for a reply, Kiana turned and smashed a remaining potion bottle with a flick of her wand before streaking across the glass-strewn floor and out the door.

*

"How long were you planning to deceive me? You are foolishly naïve if you believed you could withhold such information for days. Your mind screams your failures, girl!"

Kiana crouched at Bellatrix's feet, her body tense as she waited for the inevitable slash of pain upon her back. She had learned long ago that speaking to the witch while she was in a rage was deadly.

"I hear his words to you…good thing you did not disclose a word of the plan, or else you would be meeting your end tonight." Bellatrix circled the defenseless and wandless girl like a slithering snake waiting for the right time to strike. "But you accepted his meaningless gift with gratitude. Your feelings poison your thoughts and turn you away from your task. Do you secretly desire to become the Dark Lord's pawn, girl? Do you long to murder your friends and hear Potter's screams for mercy? Speak, Karn!" She slashed Kiana's right wrist with a quick swipe of her wand, spilling scarlet blood over the fine silver of her bracelet.

Kiana bit back a cry and clutched her wrist to stem the flow. "I am aware of my weaknesses, my lady. I apologize for my carelessness, but I have been destabilized by my constantly shifting thoughts…"

"There is no excuse for your behavior!" Bellatrix cried, striking her back with a fiery whip from her wand. "It's because of your love for Potter that your thoughts change, girl; there is no other reason! You may have practiced _mortacus _on the thestrals, but you have not mastered the spell. How do you expect to use _mortacious _on Potter if you cannot perform its simpler form?"

Kiana's head spun as blood continued to spill from her wrist. She squeezed her eyes shut to try and block the pain, knowing how dangerously pale she must be.

"I am not unaware of the fragileness of your mind, Karn. Someone is working against me, using some spell or potion to halt my intrusions. If this is not fixed soon, there will be no hope for you. I cannot fix this on my own. We will have to intensify our efforts by changing the date of your induction. It will begin tonight."

Kiana had opened her eyes in time to see Bellatrix grab her good arm and Apparate them both. They landed heavily in the same graveyard where Kiana had been accepted into the cult. The girl dropped to the ground upon arrival; she had lost a significant amount of blood. She tried to find the pressure point on her arm to cut off circulation, but blood gushed from the deep wound on her wrist no matter what she did. She knew death was upon her when white spots dotted the graveyard and blurred her vision…

"I do not disapprove of your choice of punishment, Bella, but killing her before the Dark Lord arrives? Very unwise."

Kiana recognized Snape's voice, but she had to concentrate hard to make out his words. Her eyes snapped open in shock when she felt her blood clot and her arm and robes being cleansed. Snape was replacing his wand inside his robes when she glanced up at him through her restored vision.

"Stop gawking, Karn, and get to your feet!" Snape snapped. "Try to look alert when the Dark Lord arrives, for this will be a day you won't soon forget."

"Well said, Snape. And neither will I forget it."

As she carefully rose (relying on Bellatrix's grip on her arm to remain steady), Kiana caught the vindictive sneer of Lucius Malfoy a few feet away. He had thrown back his hood, revealing the blinding white of his long hair. Despite her nausea, Kiana found herself glaring back.

"Oh, you recognize me, girl?" Lucius laughed as he leaned casually on his silver serpent staff. "Probably because of my son, Draco. The family resemblance has always been apparent."

"Yes, I've had the pleasure of recognizing his arrogant strides through the corridors." Kiana's voice was weak but it pierced the still air nonetheless. "Thinks he owns the school and can make all do his bidding."

"Draco's not the only one who can make all do his bidding," Lucius remarked with a chilling smile. "You're about to realize that to its utmost intensity."

She was determined to cast away the fear his words had created in her. "And what's so important about today, Malfoy? Am I to receive the Death Eater of the Month award?"

Lucius laughed cruelly. "Your naivety surprises me. Didn't you see this coming? I'm surprised the Dark Lord has agreed to it with all your careless mistakes these past few days. But it will doubtlessly change everything; hopefully for the better." He nodded at Snape and Bellatrix before strolling away toward a congregating group of hooded Death Eaters on the other side of the cemetery.

Kiana glanced questionably up at Snape. "Should I thank you for inviting all these guests to my party? They seem to know exactly what gift is to be bestowed upon me."

Snape avoided her gaze as he studied the cloaked wizards around them. "You will get what's coming to you, Karn. And hopefully it'll prevent any mistakes in your future."

Something cold dropped in her stomach. What new form of torture had they developed to change her actions? Would they create such hatred inside her that she'd kill anyone that crossed her path? The thought chilled her insides.

Her heart lurched at Voldemort's sudden appearance. The Death Eaters obediently formed a circle around him, keeping their heads lowered in respect. But Kiana remained upright, her eyes fixed on the Dark Lord's skull-like face. Hopefully his expression would give her a clue as to the forthcoming activity.

"Many of you will undoubtedly be surprised at how quickly this is occurring." Voldemort wasted no time as he examined the faces of his followers and then turned to Kiana with a heart-chilling grin. "I, myself, doubted whether our little apprentice is prepared for this, but because of recent events…" The knowing, reproachful look Voldemort passed her sent a piercing pain through her head, forcing her to look down. "This could be put off no longer. She will not be able to resist my power once she experiences the binding magic of the Dark Mark."

Kiana released a strangled cry as her mind spun in horror. The Dark Mark…no, they couldn't do that to her! She would be bound forever to Voldemort and the Death Eaters; she would not be able to hide it! All her friends would leave her, and there'd be no escape from the nightmare…

She was barely conscious of her movements, but she found herself backing away from the graveyard with timid steps. When reality sunk in, she spun around to sprint to a free Apparition point.

But Snape's quick reflexes doomed her once more. Grabbing her arm, he hauled her back to the circle before she had taken two paces. Using his wand, he forced her to lie at the Dark Lord's feet and took away her voice in one frightful movement.

Even though her wand remained in her pocket, Kiana could not reach for it. She had no choice but to look up at Voldemort's pitiless features with dread filling her body like a painful poison. She couldn't even fight against her future torture with words.

She had become a cold, unfeeling soul lying dead at the feet of the Dark Lord.

"I'm sure you do not understand the significance of today, girl." Voldemort whispered the words close to her ear, and it hurt her not to have the ability to turn away. "With my Mark burned into your skin, you will forever be connected to myself and my followers. I will also be connected with you, and I shall know when you are deceiving me or entering into trouble. You will feel my rage at any given time, and you will be helpless to resist if I call you to my side. Is any of this unclear?"

Kiana was unable to respond, but luckily Voldemort knew of her response by reading her mind. Her pounding heart was the only sign of her existence, for the rest of her body was empty of feeling. Her mind wandered far beyond the graveyard as Voldemort's ice cold hands gripped her left arm.

Harry's smiling face appeared in the stars above, and her body relaxed as she saw the sparkle of his eyes and heard the joy in his laugh.

_ "I've never felt this way about anyone before, Kiana. Even when you're angry at me I can't be angry with you. It hurts me to see you so closed up inside, to be so dead to the world. I wish I could take all your pain away, but I can't if you don't share it with me. Give your heart to me, Kiana, and I promise I'll treasure it forever."_

A pain as sharp as a knife slashed through her left wrist, as if Voldemort were cutting through all her major arteries and exposing her muscles to the air. She opened her mouth to let out a powerful, heart-wrenching scream, but only air escaped through her lips.

Kiana's arm flashed a fierce green as the terrifying form of a skull formed on her arm. A long snake protruded from the skull's mouth, its jaw wide and fangs gleaming. Her heart raced so forcefully Kiana thought it would explode as Voldemort entered her mind and body, leaving nothing untouched as he altered her senses and thoughts. Harry disappeared from her secret world in a flash, leaving her in dark nothingness.

_ "Harry…Harry, don't leave me now. It hurts, Harry, please don't go!"_

The silence was unbearable. She no longer felt Voldemort clutching her arm, but his presence was as real as the ground supporting her. She heard and felt nothing except the Dark Lord's harsh orders and his cold, inhuman emotions. Her arm ached as if strong flames were devouring her flesh, but still she could not move any limb. She gave in to the pain, allowing it to consume her while keeping her mind focused on nothing but the agony spreading up and down…up and down…

_ "You will finish the task by tomorrow at sunset. If this is not accomplished, I will instantly possess you and Potter will suffer horribly until his death by your doing. Plan well, girl, or all you know and love will die in a few short days."_

Voldemort's words echoed in her head long after they were spoken. She felt herself falling toward the ground as the pain spread, devouring all her strength and willpower. Now she wanted nothing but rest and relief from the agony of the Dark Mark scorching her arm.

But relief never came until she awoke later, lying on her back with her eyes directed at the stars. She slowly turned, wincing at the spasm of agony that shot down her back. A tight bandage was wound around her left forearm, and dried blood stained the fabric. This merely covered the sight of her Dark Mark; it did not lessen the ache. She feared the pain would stay with her for days.

"Are you strong enough to walk?"

Kiana sat up and stared with blank eyes at Snape, who was leaning against the nearest tree. His face was still and his eyes were empty of emotion as always. Kiana had expected no better. They were very much alone in the graveyard now; not even a lone bird soared through the trees. The sky had changed from a solid black to a dark blue, warning of the coming dawn.

"I can walk," she murmured, clutching the ground as she stiffly rose to a standing position. The ache of her body did not bother her anymore; the worst was realizing how empty her heart was. Only the night before it had been full with the love and care she felt toward Harry, and in less than twenty-four hours it had all vanished. She had never known how dead a living person could feel.

"You realize what you must do today?"

"Yes." Kiana absentmindedly stared through the cluster of trees surrounding the aged tombstones. "It will be done soon."

Snape nodded. "Very well. Are you ready to return?"

_ Like I have any choice. _"Yes. Let's go back."

Snape walked forward and grabbed her right wrist (which now sported a thick, white scar). They appeared on Hogwarts' grounds minutes before the sun shone over the horizon.

A new day had dawned, though Kiana knew as she walked to her dorm that it would be her and Harry's final one. Before midnight Harry would be dead, and Kiana would have given her soul to Voldemort.

Their fates had been decided long ago, and now it was all set in stone.


	10. Worse Than Heartache

Chapter Ten: Worse Than Heartache

"Or bid me go into a new-made grave,  
And hide me with a dead man in his shroud -  
Things that, to hear them told, have made me tremble -  
And I will do it without fear or doubt,  
To live an unstain'd wife to my sweet love."  
- **William Shakespeare**, _Romeo and Juliet_, 4.1

"The perfection of the _mobilicorpus _spell is crucial for your success in the Charms N.E.W.T. We shall practice this spell further today with a partner, and I shall come around to check your progress."

Michelle nudged Kiana in the ribs when Professor Flitwick sauntered by, the tiny wizard eyeing Kiana with disapproval at her apparent day-dreaming.

"What does this spell do, Miss Karn?"

"Moves a body, Professor," Kiana replied lazily.

Flitwick nodded but continued to study her with a furrowed brow. "You and Miss Simonson seem to have practiced together enough. Today you shall work with another partner…hm, Mr. Potter?"

Harry jerked in his seat as if awoken from a stupor.

"You shall work with Miss Karn during class today. Perhaps then she won't be tempted to fool around with _other _spells."

Normally, Kiana would have blushed at such an accusation, for it was only too true that she and Michelle had spent several Charms classes trying out jinxes not suited for a sixth-year class. But that day she wouldn't care if every teacher in the school reprimanded her. She had her mind fixed on Harry, determined to finish him off sooner than later. The longer he was alive, the more assault her body had to undergo from pure panic.

Kiana had not spoken to Harry since their time together in the Room of Requirement, but it was obvious from the way his gaze never left her that he was concerned. He sensed something about her that troubled him, but that made no difference to her. She wasn't stupid enough to try and kill him in class, but it would be only too easy to weaken him.

"Now that you all have found partners, you may begin!" Flitwick seated himself at the front of the class, folding his arms as he watched each group of students carefully. He had been teaching Charms long enough to know that no class was free from injuries or mishaps.

Kiana said a silent prayer for all to go well that day. Despite her determination and calmness, a warning was going off in her brain. She had tried to push it aside all day, telling herself it was nothing more than a harmless nuisance. But as she faced Potter at the far end of the classroom, the fear came back, suffocating her mind like a tight blanket.

Something was bound to go wrong.

"Go easy on me, Karn; my reaction times are not as superior as yours. Your spells may hit remarkably well." Harry's hasty attempt at humor unnerved her. He was not going to make this easy.

Kiana pursed her lips and silently raised her wand, causing surprise to flicker across Harry's face. But he copied her regardless, clearing his face of any hint of a smile.

In order for her plan to succeed, Kiana knew she couldn't start off suspiciously. "_Mobilicorpus!"_

Harry flicked her spell away as if it were an irritating fly. "You can do better than that, Karn," he teased, beginning to circle her. "Where's your stealth?"

"_Levicorpus!"_

Harry raised his eyebrows once paring the attack. "When did you learn that?" His voice was soft, but Kiana heard the anxiety engrained in his words.

"All you can do is par, Potter?" She was sneering, and the small, weak part of her mind cried out at her to stop. But she smothered the voice easily. This was her moment to show all those pathetic Death Eaters what she was capable of.

Kiana knew she had lost the element of surprise when fear shone on Harry's face like a beacon. Raising her wand in preparation for her attack, she let the rage rise up within her before crying…

"_Mortacus!"_

_"Levicorpus!"_

Both spells blasted from their owner's wands with such force that they met in the middle and exploded upon contact. The energy from the blast lifted both Kiana and Harry off their feet and threw them helplessly against the opposite walls of the classroom.

Cries resonated through the room as the remaining students realized what had occurred. Even Professor Flitwick was speechless as all stared, wide-eyed, at the pair of duelers.

Kiana returned to her feet first. She pushed fallen strands of hair angrily from her face and glared at any student who dared meet her eye. Red sparks flew from her wand as she realized how much work had to be done to undo what had just occurred. How had her spell missed? It had been perfectly calculated!

Ignoring the pleading look Harry passed her, she bolted from the classroom. She didn't know where she was going, but all that mattered was getting out of Hogwarts before…

"Kiana! Kiana, stop!"

Hissing angrily through her teeth, she ignored the cries of the boy pursuing her. She yearned to toss a curse at him behind her back, but how would that accomplish anything?

Harry apparently had the same yearning, but he acted on his.

"_Locomotor mortis!"_

The shock of his attack was not as strong in Kiana as her rage at being defeated by the boy. Falling heavily to the ground, her legs stuck together as if super-glued, she glared up at Harry with deep revulsion as he rushed to her side. His face was pale and his eyes wide with unnamable fear, but Kiana felt nothing at the sight. She no longer cared what he thought of her. He would be dead soon, anyway.

Good thing the corridor was vacant.

Harry undid his jinx with a flick of his wand, but before she could react, he used a silent spell to push her up against the wall, binding her to the bricks. He leaned up against her, pushing his wand into her chest. But none of this was a threat; this Kiana saw in his eyes. Harry was merely acting upon his good conscience, doing what he thought was right. He clearly hated every moment of it.

"You will tell me this instant what has happened to you, or we're going straight to Dumbledore."

Kiana's barriers should have been smashed at his compelling, though overwhelmingly concerned, voice, but the power of her Dark Mark was too strong. Voldemort's voice inside her head was too clear. She would show no weakness.

She stared hard into his eyes, keeping her face as blank as Snape's. "I will tell you nothing," she hissed. She pushed vigorously against his wand's force, which released her body from the wall a few inches. Only seconds more and she would be free…

Harry grabbed her left wrist hastily, intending to pull her back. But his action caused Kiana to release a powerful scream, and he instantly dropped her arm.

The pain crippled her, prohibiting her from attempting escape. She leaned against the wall, squeezing her eyes shut until the burning in her arm ceased. She had not noticed that her Dark Mark had flashed a bright green under her bandage.

But Harry had. The image of the skull and snake burned into his mind, and he thought of nothing else as he severed Kiana's bandage with his wand and held her wrist up to the light.

Every emotion and thought that kept Kiana steady died the instant Harry grabbed her wrist. Her world crumbled beneath her, tossing her down into the all-encompassing darkness. She became as lifeless as the night before when Voldemort had claimed her.

What surprised her was how intensely she experienced Harry's pain. She felt the agony portrayed on his face as clearly as she felt the wrath of Voldemort. For the Dark Lord knew now; he knew of her ultimate failure.

It was all over now.

Time passed in endless seconds, slowly destroying her until she thought she could no longer hold herself up. Harry stared at her Dark Mark with the same expression he would hold if he were seeing his loved ones tortured. Kiana thought he had died, too, until a shadow passed over his face and his eyes hardened. He did not meet her gaze as he grabbed her other arm and dragged her into the deserted classroom across from them.

Without hesitating, Harry threw her forcefully into the room, sending her reeling into the nearest row of desks. She bruised her hip knocking into a pointed side, but she hardly noticed as Harry towered above her. She suddenly realized how drastically her role would change – from murderer to victim. Harry would kill her before she could even try and kill him.

"_Expelliarmus!" _

Kiana's wand flew from her pocket into Harry's waiting hand. She had forgotten she had been armed.

"Explain yourself!" the boy cried. With his eyes widened and his hand shaking as he directed his wand at her heart, he appeared as mad as Bellatrix.

Kiana forgot how to speak as she lay at his feet, staring up helplessly at the boy she loved.

"You fool, you choose _now _to be speechless?!" Harry roared. "How can you not defend yourself when I have the power to hand you over to Azkaban? Anyone who sports Voldemort's sign deserves an instant life sentence, and I don't make exceptions for _anyone_, even you!"

His words appeared believable, but Kiana saw that he had trouble convincing himself of his own threats. His eyes still held that same incredulity and gloom. He was in shock; this was unbearably obvious.

Something in Kiana's heart burst, repelling Voldemort's influence for a single moment. She had to say something or she'd die from being looked upon with revulsion by her lover.

"Harry, this is not what it seems to be. I never wanted…"

He laughed cruelly, sending a chill down her arms. "Not what it seems? I'm not blind to the truth! Do you think I've never seen the Dark Mark before, Karn? Do you think I've never stood in a Death Eater's presence? I was there when Voldemort was reborn! I _helped _him come back to this world with my own blood. I could have easily saved myself by proclaiming my undying devotion to the Dark Lord, but I am not as weak as you!"

His words pierced her heart, and she clutched her chest as her body gasped for breath. "I can explain, Harry! I will explain everything if you'll let me. Don't speak things you'll later regret."

"I gave you the chance to speak long ago, but you held your tongue." His voice had weakened, but the condemnation still poisoned his words. He was trying hard not to cry, and, like her, had learned that anger was a good friend when trying to repel grief. "I will not listen to you now, for nothing you say can take away the filthy mark on your arm. Those things do not magically appear in one's sleep. They are only given to those who are willing to bear it."

Kiana wept, releasing the burning tears in her eyes. _If you only knew, Harry. If you only knew!_

"I can only believe now that you tried to win my favor because you wanted to hand me over to Voldemort. Why else would you have wasted all those hours with me, making me believe that you cared for me as much as I cared for you? What a fool I was to believe your lies! I hate myself for becoming snared in your wicked net. I gave a part of myself to you, Kiana! And what do you do with it? You throw it back in my face. Well, I am not going to let you bewitch me any longer. This is the end."

"Harry, don't!"

He acted without paying heed to her words. With his wand, he unlinked the silver bracelet around her wrist and flew it into his open pocket. The tears were finally visible in his eyes as he backed away toward the door, keeping his wand pointed at her.

"I'm going for Dumbledore," he said, his voice no louder than a whisper. "There is no point in trying to escape; I have bewitched the locks and you are wandless. Good-bye, Kiana. I hope one day you will look back on all this and realize the depth of your mistakes."

"Harry, _wait_!_"_

He slammed the door the moment she rose to follow him. The click of the lock after his departure was as deadly to her as the pulling of a trigger. He did not know it, but his actions had delivered death to her on a silver platter.

And she would die a death worse than his parents', for instead of entering another world of peace and love, she would have her soul possessed by the devil and watch helplessly as her own wand delivered death to those she loved.

Including him.


	11. Preparation For Death

Chapter Eleven: Preparation For Death

Love is like a mountain,  
hard to climb,  
but once you get to the top  
the view is beautiful.  
- **Daniel Monroe Tuttle**

Harry let out a powerful cry of fury as he kicked his school truck out of his path. Swishing his wand, he slammed the door to his dormitory shut, but this gave him no satisfaction. There was too much anger, hate, and loss inside of him to dispel it with ordinary outbursts and assaults on his room. He was too wrapped up in his agony to notice that Ron was on his four-poster bed, struggling to copy down notes from his potions textbook.

"Harry?" Ron asked tentatively.

Harry started at his friend's voice, but once glancing up to acknowledge his presence, he turned away and fell flat onto his bed. He covered his face with his hands and moaned loudly, still trying to push back the stream of tears threatening to cascade down his face.

"Harry, mate, what's wrong?" Ron's voice was louder now, telling Harry he had moved closer.

"Go away, Ron. I can't talk about it." His voice had become lifeless, defeated.

"You think I'd leave you alone when you're in this state?" Ron asked incredulously. "Come on, Harry; you know you can tell me anything. What _haven't _we gone through together?"

"What's wrong with him?"

Harry sat up at the sound of her voice. Hermione had quietly entered the room without either boys noticing. She was carrying her overflowing book bag, but she frowned and set it down when she noticed the paleness of Harry's face. She approached the two of them slowly.

"I was worried when you didn't come to Potions today, Harry," she said. "I…heard what happened in Charms class earlier. I wanted to talk to you about it."

Ron scowled. "What happened during Charms?"

Harry shook his head angrily. "I _don't _want to talk about it, okay?"

"You're going to have to at some time," Hermione replied, sitting next to him on the bed. "There are rumors flying all over the school now."

Harry groaned at this news. How had his world so quickly deteriorated when it was perfect a few days ago?

"You can't be that surprised, Harry, honestly." Hermione tried to take his hand only to be shunned. She sighed wearily. "After the news spread that you and Kiana were dating, everyone was curious to see how you two would get on. There are…rumors that you got in a fight with her, but I wanted to hear the truth from you. Please, Harry. I don't like to see you like this."

Furiously, Harry pulled himself off the bed and stalked toward the window. Folding his arms across his chest, he tried to push the memories from his mind, but they were as clear and horrid as the visions Voldemort sent him. They also hurt ten times more than any pain in his scar.

"I'll tell you," he murmured after a moment's debate. "But you two must swear not to mention a _word _of this to anyone, even a professor. Understood?"

Ron and Hermione nodded hesitantly.

Harry inhaled deeply, hoping it would ease his anguish to release the secret. He told them everything: how he had been worried about Kiana for weeks, but when he was with her, her attitude never seemed as bad as he had thought. There was never any reasonable explanation for her behavior. Then he told them how scared he was in Charms class when he saw the hatred in her eyes, and how she had fled the class without speaking to anyone. Ron and Hermione both looked appalled when they heard of Kiana's Dark Mark, and a tear slipped from Harry's eye when he spoke about locking her in the classroom.

"I tried going to Dumbledore, but his office was locked." The fury came back like the ocean's tide. The one time he had really needed the Headmaster and he had failed him! "Kiana's still in that room, but I don't know what to do now. I won't go to any professor because they'll immediately call the Ministry of Magic. Despite what I said to her, I don't want her sent to Azkaban. I…I just can't understand how this could happen. She was…she was…"

The words failed him as he collapsed beside the window, shielding his face from his friends as he showed the depth of his distress through his tears. Hermione was the first to approach him. Leaning against him, she rubbed his back until he had a handle over his tears.

"Harry, you're right to be looking for Dumbledore. This is not something we can deal with on our own. I know Kiana almost as well as you, and I, too, believe that this is beyond abnormal for her. There's something horrible happening that goes beyond her Dark Mark. She's wrapped up in something beyond our understanding. If you searched your heart, Harry, you would agree with me."

Harry nodded after awhile, glancing up at the descending sun as it spilled warmth into their dormitory. The rays warmed his chilled body, but it could never warm his heart.

"Let's go back to his office again," Ron suggested. "If he's still not there, we'll owl him. Dumbledore won't ignore us when he understands how important this is."

Harry gave his friends a smile, though it never reached his eyes. "Thank you. I now remember why I tell you guys everything."

Ron grinned. "And we're glad to listen to all your many, many problems. Though they sometimes get mixed up in my head…what was your problem again? Something about potions?"

Hermione whacked him on the arm as all three headed for the door.

Ron winced. "Sorry, Harry; I meant that's _my _problem."

Harry glanced back at the window before leaving his dorm. He noticed a dark shape glide across the grass toward the Forest, but he shook it off as a trick of the light.

*

Kiana pulled her black hood closer to her face as she jutted across the field. The sun was slowly creeping toward the horizon, ending the last day the Dark Lord had given her to complete her assignment, but that didn't matter any longer. Voldemort already knew that she'd never be able to complete the task now, but that wasn't going to stop her from seeking him out.

The Dark Lord was the only person she could go to now, anyway. And hopefully he would be so irritated with her that he'd kill her off quickly and painlessly. There was nothing left in the world for her, so why not willingly track down death?

Kiana had fallen asleep in the empty classroom, desperate for some escape from her painful world. When she had awoken, the previously locked classroom door was open and her wand had been returned to her pocket. Her Dark Mark burned on her wrist, telling her what she already knew: the Dark Lord was expecting her. She had to answer his call.

Kiana stopped dead in her tracks when she noticed Severus Snape waiting for her among the entangled branches of the trees. She wasn't completely surprised to see him; he had a Dark Mark, too, did he not? All the Death Eaters were probably aware of her eventful day by now. It was one of those mysteries of the Dark Mark.

Snape frowned when he observed her tear-stained cheeks and swollen eyes. "You are aware of the consequences of your failure?"

Kiana clenched her jaw. Like what she had been through in the last hour hadn't been consequence enough? She bit back the retort.

"Yes."

"You wish to disappear from Hogwarts without explanation."

It was a statement, not a question. He recognized her dilemma but was aware of her determination to face the future. She had nothing with her except her wand and cloak and had told no one where she was going.

"So you've made your choice," Snape murmured, glancing once at Hogwarts Castle before taking her arm and Apparating them far away from the source of Kiana's agony.

They did not arrive in the graveyard as Kiana had expected. Instead, she found herself being dragged through another cluster of trees, although these woods were far different than the Forbidden Forest. The trees were spaced further apart, allowing the weakening sun to flow through the branches and cast pools of light onto the piles of dead leaves littering the ground. There were not any signs of human habitation for many miles as far as Kiana could tell.

After swerving around dozens of trees and avoiding numerous mud pits, Snape halted her. She scowled, wondering how this particular patch of grass was different from the rest.

After a minute of waiting, Bellatrix Apparated alongside them. She didn't take time to draw breath before launching herself at Snape.

"_You call this taking control?!"_ she shrieked, glaring at Snape with that wide-eyed, insane expression Kiana knew so well. "What are we to do about her? Even with the Dark Mark's power she allowed herself to be caught. How is she to fulfill the Dark Lord's commands now? You've seen how close she is to Potter, Snape. Shall I take more extreme measures?"

Bella motioned to Kiana's head with her wand, causing Kiana to step back involuntarily.

"No," Snape snapped abruptly. "We shall do nothing until the Dark Lord arrives."

"Nonsense!" Bella hissed. "The Dark Lord placed me in charge of the girl's teaching, so therefore I have the only say in her punishment."

"You were relieved from your post the day your spell lost effectiveness."

Fear entered Bellatrix's eyes as Voldemort approached them. His face was calm though his eyes held a noticeable warning. Kiana knew they had to tread carefully around the Dark Lord now; any more slip-ups could lead to a death among them.

Voldemort scrutinized Bellatrix carefully. "You clearly did not alter enough in her mind, which surprises me considering how easy it is to penetrate the girl's pitiful thoughts."

Kiana's jaw clenched despite the trepidation Voldemort's presence created in her.

Voldemort ignored the girl as if she were another tree. "Snape will be the one to punish the girl so that she is prepared for her final act tonight."

"Tonight, my lord?" Bellatrix asked, clearly taken aback.

"Of course. You did not think I would let Potter roam free another minute when we possess the weapon to finish him off? Dumbledore is already aware of my intentions if Potter reveals his visions like he always does. The fool will try and assemble the Order of the Phoenix, and we shall attack on Hogwarts' grounds. But you've put me ahead of myself, Bella. That information was to be divulged at the meeting tonight."

Voldemort motioned to Snape, who was staring at Kiana with unreadable eyes. "Severus will bring the girl to the meeting once she has been altered. But do be careful, Severus. I want the girl prepped and physically prepared for tonight. Go as far as you wish, but she must be conscious and alert by the hour of the meeting. Is that understood?"

"Yes, my lord."

"Good. Come, Bella; we have a lot to prepare." Voldemort and Bellatrix Disapparated without a moment's hesitation.

Kiana bit her lower lip to hold back a scream of fury as she rounded on Snape. "You're just like the rest, aren't you? You're not _really _a double spy; you just pretend to be to gain Dumbledore's favor. Why else would you have let Bellatrix invade my mind, or agree to Voldemort's orders just now? I bet you're eagerly anticipating the moment I curse Harry to his death…"

"Silence!" Snape roared, summoning her wand the moment she reached for it. "Don't talk about things you don't understand! It is not my responsibility to explain my intentions to you, nor do I have to defend myself. Everything will occur just as the Dark Lord intends, but Dumbledore had foreseen this long ago. The Headmaster has his own plans."

Kiana was prepping herself to run, although she knew it was foolish seeing as he had two wands and she had none. The minute she had twisted around to escape behind the foliage of the nearest tree, he had muttered a spell that sent her falling at his feet, unable to move or speak.

"You do not understand the importance of your task," Snape continued, kneeling at her head. "If you did, you would have tried even a little not to fall at Potter's feet in blind adoration. You would have taken Bellatrix's lessons seriously instead of keeping Potter in your mind every second. For this, you must be punished."

Before she could prepare for it, a great pressure appeared in her head, and suddenly the past few weeks played in front of her eyes like a film reel set in fast forward. Then, with such pain she thought her head would explode, Snape destroyed the tender moments with Harry she had always looked back on when she was depressed. The memories were altered so that she no longer felt joy at the recollection of his smile or his kiss, and a great annoyance and disgust filled her body at the thought of her _dating _that useless, ignorant boy. She knew she was screaming, but the sound came from far, far away, almost like a memory.

The unbearable ache in her head did not lessen until minutes later, when Snape released her from his hold and she lay, trembling, on the cold earth. She could not open her eyes or move a single limb, her body ached so. It was a pain worse than the magic Voldemort had used to plant the Dark Mark on her arm, for Snape's magic had directly hit the vulnerable area of her heart. How cold the world was now, how unbearably cold.

She didn't know when Snape left her, for the minutes and hours blurred together as she tried to regain her energy and inner strength. She fought to regain consciousness to fulfill her ultimate desire: to destroy Harry Potter forever.

*

"Get up, girl. Your tardiness has hindered all of us."

Kiana struggled to make Bellatrix's face out of the flying colors and ghostly figures floating across her vision. She felt Bella grab her arm painfully and haul her to her feet.

"Walk, Karn! You're not a cripple."

Hot irritation burned through her, but Kiana resisted the urge to use her wand. There would be plenty of time to battle later.

"Where are we going, my lady?"

"Where do you think?" Bella snapped.

"I mean, where is the meeting being _held_?"

Bellatrix glowered at Kiana's icy tone. "In a deserted farmhouse not a kilometer from here. The Dark Lord had executed certain…preparations before the gathering tonight."

Kiana found it curious how Bella wouldn't state out-right what Voldemort had done to the occupants of the house. After all the murders the Death Eaters had committed, why were they now afraid to speak of their crimes?

Bellatrix didn't speak to her again until they had entered the run-down farmhouse and found the Death Eaters seated around a long wooden table.

"You will seat yourself beside Snape. Hold that quick tongue of yours until you are spoken to, understood?"

"Yes, my lady."

Kiana studied the chipped paint on the walls and the crumbling ceiling as she sat in the empty chair beside Snape at the far end of the table. The floor was covered in old, muddy straw and the dried remains of cow dung. The farmhouse seemed to have been recently inhabited for the place reeked of animal dander and hay.

Voldemort had seated himself in a high-backed chair at the front of the table. He was stroking the head of his "pet" snake, Nagini, with an absentminded expression. When Kiana's presence was acknowledged by everyone in the room, Voldemort clasped his stark white hands together and met the eye of each member in the room. Even from far away, Kiana saw the glimmer of anticipation in the Dark Lord's normally cold eyes.

"My friends, we have come to a very important moment in our history." He did not have to raise his voice much to be heard. "Because of the excellent work Severus Snape has been accomplishing inside Hogwarts School, we now have in our possession the key to Potter's demise." He motioned slightly to Kiana, and every eye in the room fixed its gaze upon her. Kiana merely lowered her eyebrows and stared back determinedly.

"As all of you are aware, this girl has developed a connection with Potter that goes beyond any of his other relationships. Although the events of prior have made the ultimate goal harder to achieve, I have no doubt that the girl will succeed. He will fall at her hand, and finally we will rid the world of Harry Potter forever."

"May I comment, my lord?"

Voldemort appeared irritated at the sudden comment, but he nodded at Lucius Malfoy.

Draco's father pushed silky strands of hair out of his face as he turned toward Kiana. "I do not have any doubt in the girl's magical ability, my lord, but how will her mishaps affect tonight?" He gazed at Kiana with disapproval, as if she were a small child being reprimanded for misbehaving. "If Potter believes that her true allegiances lie with us, then it will be difficult for him to experience the full effect of the _mortacious _curse. How do we know he still cares for the girl after what happened? And besides, even if the Order of the Phoenix does appear upon our advancement tonight, how do we know Potter will be among them? Dumbledore will want to keep him hidden."

"You doubt my careful plans, Lucius?" Voldemort admonished.

"No, my lord," Lucius replied hastily. "I simply meant…"

"Dumbledore will not be able to stop Harry from appearing tonight once he learns Kiana is among us," Voldemort explained calmly. "It is apparent from my assaults on his mind that he has misgivings about his girlfriend's loyalties. He will come to see what she does when the Death Eaters battle against Dumbledore's fools. We shall distract the Order and allow Kiana to separate him from the group. If Dumbledore is foolish enough to show, not even he will be able to stop Harry from following her."

Several members at the table cast each other doubtful glances, but Voldemort was too wrapped up in his thoughts to notice or care.

Snape turned to Kiana and whispered, "While the rest prepare for battle, you will follow Bellatrix behind the house."

It was such a vague order that Kiana glanced questionably at him, but Snape shoved her out of her chair, hissing, "Don't ask questions!"

Kiana obeyed, although the idea of going _anywhere _alone with Bellatrix terrified her. She would rather adventure alone with Snape, because he at least didn't seem to possess an unfailing need to torture her for every slip-up.

"I do not trust that Snape completed the task correctly." Bellatrix paced over the fallen leaves behind the old farmhouse, inspecting Kiana thoroughly as if trying to analyze her strength. "You've failed twice now, Karn; how do I know you won't fail tonight?"

"It's different now, my lady," Kiana murmured, keeping her sullen gaze straight ahead at the clustering of trees. "I won't fail tonight. There's nothing I want more than to see Potter suffer. He will die if I can get him alone."

Bellatrix raised her eyebrows mockingly. "And if he gives you one of his heartfelt speeches? Will you crumble to the floor in desperate repentance like earlier? You are so resolute in your task when speaking to me, but once you glimpse the compassion in his eyes it all disappears like smoke."

Kiana tried to hide her amazement at how accurate her teacher's allegation was. "Tonight is different. I understand that if I don't kill him tonight then worse destruction will follow. Trust me, my lady."

"I cannot trust you," Bella shot back. "I cannot trust someone who is incapable of keeping her own promises. Most of all, I do not trust that Snape altered your mind well enough. Perhaps if you proved yourself…"

Contemplatively, Bellatrix swished her wand in the air, but nothing happened. Kiana thought the witch was not aware of her wand movements until something stirred in the woods beyond. Kiana narrowed her eyes at the trees, clutching her wand in her left hand. Leaves crackled as a figure approached, and Kiana's heart raced when she made out the tall, muscular form of Harry. His face was pale and tense as he approached the pair, although his eyes lingered longer on Kiana. She knew what was going to happen before it did.

"Kiana, please listen to me," Harry urged, holding out his hands like a beggar. "This is not how you want to live. Come with me and I can…"

Her wand hand shook, but her voice was clear and confident. "_Mortacus!_"

Harry crumbled to the ground in a scream of pain, writhing as he lay suffering among the fallen leaves. Kiana slowly approached him, wand raised as she prepared to cast the final curse…

The boy disappeared in a haze of smoke. Kiana stood, dazed and disturbed, at the patch of grass where Harry had lain. She had forgotten Bellatrix was there, her wand hovering over the same spot. Kiana glanced up at her, questioning her for the reason behind it all, but Bellatrix merely smiled.

"Well done, Karn," she spoke softly. "You have proved yourself worthy of the task set before you."

"Of course I am worthy!" Kiana surprised herself at the amount of anger she possessed. It gnawed at her like a living demon. "I have prepped and prepped for this day and _nobody _is going to take it away from me. I _loathe _Potter for existing, for it is because of him that I am here before you. It's because of him I can never return to Hogwarts. I hate him!"

Kiana's voice had risen intensely as she spoke, but this only made Bella's smile widen. "Say it again," she demanded.

"_I hate him!_" Kiana shrieked, feeling the invigorating blood pulse through her limbs and pound in her head. It carried the energy and strength she longed for, and nothing could take it away now. "I want nothing more than to torture him under my own hold. Don't take this opportunity away from me, Bellatrix, or I shall surely die from suppressed rage."

Bella nodded as a horrible sneer grew on her face. "No. You will kill Potter as the Dark Lord desires. You are ready."


	12. Battle to the Death

**Chapter Twelve: Battle to the Death  
**

"To love is to burn, to be on fire, like Juliet or Guinevere or Eloise!"

"They met rather pathetic ends, dear."

"Pathetic? To die for love? How can you say so? What could be more glorious?"

- **Emma Thompson's** screenplay _Sense and Sensibility_

Distant thunder shook the earth as black storm clouds rolled over Hogwarts grounds. As the Death Eaters marched toward the castle, dark hoods and masks covering their faces, the land around them was thrown into shadow.

Kiana murmured _"Lumos!" _as they drew closer. Holding her lighted wand over her path littered with fallen tree branches, she tried to think of a way to calm her racing heart. Heaviness had also settled in her head, making her slightly dizzy and fatigued.

Pure nerves, that's all it was. Never before had someone so young been entrusted such a difficult task by the Dark Lord. She was honored at this opportunity, yet the possibility of failing lingered heavily in her mind. She knew she was powerful enough, that wasn't a question. But if somehow Potter weakened her, there would be no hope. She had to keep her concentration and strength through out the entire battle.

_Just keep your mind empty, _she repeated to herself as the glimmering form of Hogwarts came into view. Candles lit up the hundreds of windows, dispelling the gloom that had settled over the forest and Kiana's heart. Inside, her fellow classmates would be preparing for bed after an appealing supper. They would be snuggled under their covers, perhaps studying for a few extra minutes before drifting off. They were warm and safe inside the castle; nothing could hurt them when Dumbledore was Headmaster.

Outside it was a different story. Warmth and comfort were things Kiana did not feel and couldn't recall as small raindrops fell from the thundering sky. The weather matched her mood perfectly: dreary with chances of dangerous flashes of heated energy. Kiana feared for the lives of the students inside the walls of her school, but a voice in her head told her there was nothing to worry about. The Death Eaters were here for Potter and Potter only. No one needed to get hurt unless they foolishly decided to intervene in the attack.

Voldemort's prediction had come true: most members of the Order of the Phoenix were present, although their faces were hard to make out in the gloom and pounding of the rain. She didn't want to know who they were anyway. She had to think of them as mere opponents who wanted to stop her from achieving. They only wanted to weaken her.

With this resolution in mind, Kiana raised her wand alongside the hooded figures around her. A sneer that rivaled Bellatrix's broke through her tense features.

There was no going back now.

*

"Harry, don't be ridiculous! You can't possibly go down there. Professor McGonagall warned us all to keep to the Common Room. Dumbledore would surely want…"

Harry turned to Hermione with raging eyes. "_Dumbledore _is not here, Hermione! He hasn't been here for days now, and he didn't even respond to our owl. Something's not right, and if Kiana is down there among them…"

"All the more reason to stay put!" Hermione insisted, stamping her foot in protest. "If Kiana's among the Death Eaters then she's made her choice, and nothing you do will sway her from it. I'm sure the Order's aware of her, Harry, and they'll try and help her. They wouldn't hurt her if Dumbledore told them not to!"

"You're trying to comfort me with mere speculations, Hermione!" Harry roared. "How do you know if anything you say is true? You don't! And as long as we both know nothing, I'm going to find her. If I could just speak to her, then perhaps she'll come to her senses."

He looked so determined that Hermione almost wept for him. "Harry, _please _be sensible. What if Voldemort is down there? He'll kill you before you can even spot Kiana! The Order is there to protect _you. _Don't ruin their sacrifice by appearing in the midst of the Death Eaters."

But Harry was barely listening as he threw a thick, gray cloak over himself and grabbed his wand from his bedside table. "If you see Dumbledore, tell him where I am. Otherwise don't speak to anyone! Do I have your word, Hermione?"

Hermione's jaw opened and closed uselessly. "I…um…"

"_Hermione?_"

"Yes! Yes, you have my word. But Harry, please be careful and come back as soon as you know Kiana is safe."

Harry nodded. "I'll do that." He dashed out the door before Hermione could utter another word, his cloak swishing behind him as he summoned the courage to face whatever was out there in the shadowy dusk.

*

The battle commenced with the first curse thrown by an Order member. Sticking to the plan laid out to her by Snape, Kiana backed behind a tree as the Death Eaters rushed in front of her to meet the Order head-on. Lightning roared above them, lighting up the scene for a mere second. Kiana glimpsed Remus Lupin fending off Yaxley, while Tonks was chasing after Lucius. Her world turned into a desperate struggle for survival as witches and wizards tried to keep themselves alive through the hazy gloom surrounding them. It was difficult to see through the rain, and without any light except the jets of sparks from flying spells, anyone could easily smash into a tree. Or worse.

"Kiana! _Kiana!_"

Snape was screaming at her from a corner of the woods. He was alone, but several Order members were rushing toward him with wands raised. Kiana followed his pointed finger to see Harry Potter protected behind Lupin, although he was clearly struggling to escape the man's hold.

Other members of the Order not occupied with Death Eaters glanced up at Snape's cry. Seeing Kiana tucked away between two oak trees, they instantly chased after her. Apparently their orders were not simply to protect Potter.

Kiana rushed from her hiding spot, crying spells at any of Dumbledore's followers when they appeared in the dark. Harry noticed her racing toward a secluded part of the grounds and shot a spell at Lupin, who released Harry with a cry of pain. The boy dived through several battles occurring around him and chased her to her destination.

Kiana smiled to herself. How easily the boy had fallen for the plan! He didn't even hesitate before launching himself to her side. She heard several voices crying after him, but Harry did not glance back.

Kiana was about to halt in a large clearing when a roar louder than a twister made her heart jump. The ground shook with ferocious intensity before splitting in two. The ground cracked in an even parallel line, dividing the battle as a large crevice appeared in the grass. Those on one side were helpless to get to the other, for the gap was slowly enlarging to a width five feet across. Kiana saw this as her opportunity to destroy Potter without the use of the _mortacious _curse. Surely Voldemort would not care how she did it as long as Potter was dead in the end?

Harry was on the same side as she, so his steps had not faltered at the terrifying split in the ground. He was a few feet from her when she cried, "_Sectumsempra!" _

Harry jerked to avoid the spell, but it hit him in the hip, creating a large slash in his side. Crying out, he stumbled but raised his wand again almost instantly. "_Stupefy!"_

She narrowly dodged his spell. Potter was not as worthless as she had thought - he cast spells with amazing accuracy and power. Kiana raised her wand to strike again when Harry, still flying at her through the rain, slipped on a patch of mud and slid helplessly across the grass to the open abyss a foot away.

Something hot and electrifying hit her, casting her dark thoughts away as she watched Harry tumble slowly, slowly over the ground and into the pit…

"HARRY!"

Kiana rushed toward him as quick as she could in the mud. Pushing her hood back, she flung herself onto her stomach and grabbed Harry's forearm a second before he tumbled to his death.

"What are you doing?" he cried. His voice spilled menace but his eyes were soft and full of doubt. Kiana knew this was her last chance. It was either tell Harry the truth and welcome death or risk him never knowing.

"Harry…" Her voice broke as tears slipped down her cheeks. "Harry, listen to me. Dumbledore told me to. Dumbledore told me to become one of them in order to save you. It all turned out so horribly wrong…I never meant to hurt you."

Harry looked torn between shooting a spell at her and trusting her hold on his arm.

"Please, Harry. Take my hand and pull yourself up. I won't hurt you."

His feet slipped on the earth, and he released an anguished cry as chunks of dirt tumbled down into the abyss. "How can I trust you?" he cried, digging his fingernails into her arm. "You've hurt me in the past. How can I know you're not about to finish what you started?"

A tear slipped from her eye. "Because I love you," she whispered.

He stared at her quizzically, his eyes scanning her face for signs of treachery. But there was no mask shielding the emotions in her heart. Her love was spilled out to him so completely he could not deny its reality.

After a moment's hesitation, Harry held out his right hand and she grasped it, using all her strength to haul him up to even ground. His weight caused Kiana to lose her balance, and she tumbled backward, Harry falling directly on top of her. He drew himself up onto his elbows until their faces were inches from each other. They stared into each other's eyes, searching deep into the other's soul for the truth that had been hidden for so long.

"Do you mean it?" he asked softly, his breath hot and heavy on her face. "Do you really love me?"

Kiana smiled. "Potter, I've loved you since the first time you smiled at me during the dueling contest. I'd give my life to protect yours, which I've come close to doing many times."

Her heart lurched when he returned her smile. "You Americans amaze me. When will you learn to keep your nose out of other people's business?"

Kiana grabbed hold of his robes and pulled him closer. "I'm a difficult girl to teach."

And with the explosions of spells above their heads and the pounding of rain upon their bodies, Harry Potter pressed his lips against hers and kissed her with every fiber of longing in his body. She returned the kiss with equal fury, holding him closer to her until she felt the frantic pace of her lover's heart.

They did not notice the chaos around them until a violent force tore Kiana from Harry's hold. She screamed as she was thrown against a cold, hard body whose pale hand instantly reached up to cover her mouth. A full body-bind jinx was cast upon her, making it impossible for her to do anything but stare with wide-eyed horror at Lord Voldemort as he approached, dragging Harry behind him by the back of his robes. Harry's eyes were not focused on the creature that held him captive, but on the girl ten feet in front of him. His gaze traveled rapidly from one Death Eater to the next, and paralyzing fear spread through his body. He, surely, would not be the first to die…but watching Voldemort murder the American girl would hasten his own departure from the world.

"I was correct, was I not, Severus?" Voldemort cast a devilish smile at the Potions Master, who had approached them from the shadows. Snape was difficult to spot in the night, for the rain soaking through his clothes turned him into the darkness itself. He pushed dark locks of black hair from his face and took his place at Voldemort's right-hand side, his expression as neutral as Kiana had ever seen it.

"About what, my lord?" Snape asked, his voice hoarse from the cold.

"That the girl you brought to me would turn out to be a needed challenge. That she has, Severus; that she has."

Kiana's skin crawled at the look Voldemort passed her. He held great anticipation on his face, and Kiana knew the Dark Lord would make her suffer greatly for her betrayal. A simple 'Avada Kadavra' curse would not fit her situation.

Voldemort sneered at the boy he held tightly in his hand. It was obvious to all that Harry was suffering, although Voldemort had not cast any spell upon him. He was convulsing in the rain and his jaw was clamped shut, as if to hold back a scream of pain. His lightning scar was burning a bright red, and Kiana's eyes welled up at the sight. She longed to cry out and cast a spell to thrust Voldemort away, but her body was as paralyzed as Harry's.

"I thought it would give me joy to torture and murder Harry Potter…" Voldemort grasped Harry's hair tightly, pulling at his scalp. Harry squeezed his eyes shut in pain. "But I have since discovered that it would give me _far _greater pleasure to see The Boy Who Lived murdered by the one he loves. You have played your part well, Kiana; you have weakened Potter in the way I had requested. He is not even trying to repel me from his mind – I see the way he feels about you. He will do anything for you, including submit to your will. And with my help, you will torture him until he dies from agony. May your actions be betrayal or not, Karn, you are still a Death Eater and shall forever remain one. And this great act of yours will prove it to the world."

With the Dark Lord's words, Kiana's Dark Mark turned a fiery red and scorched her skin. She screamed into the hand of the Death Eater holding her, but with the pain came an overwhelming anger and revulsion stronger than anything she had felt before. Her wand, still in her pocket, flashed green and flew to her open hand, instantly shattering the body-binding spell. With a cry of anguish, Kiana slashed the Death Eater behind her with a blinding fire whip, sending him reeling into the trees. Flying forward, she sent sparks rushing toward the Dark Lord and pointed her wand at his chest. She hardly thought as she stood there, shaking from an avalanche of emotions. She held only one wish in her mind as she stared mercilessly into Voldemort's red eyes: _I want to kill him. He will die at my own hand!_

Snape raised his own wand and stepped toward the girl, but Voldemort held out an arm. "This is solely between us, Severus," he hissed. For the first time, Kiana witnessed a flash of fear in Snape's eyes, something she could not comprehend.

"You have certainly proven your talent." Voldemort released his hold on Harry, and the boy crumbled to the ground. He attempted to rise, but Voldemort was quick and held him down with a binding force. Tears made their way down Harry's cheeks, but he wept not for himself.

Voldemort slowly began to circle Kiana, his wand held loosely in his right hand. "Your skills rise above most at this pitiful school; it is a shame you do not wish to use it for a greater good. Think of the power you can gain, girl, if you followed my orders precisely!"

"I wish for nothing you can give me," Kiana hissed. She lowered her wand but scrolled through dozens of curses in her head in case the need arose. "I became your servant for one reason and one reason only – to obey Dumbledore's orders. I have learned much about Dark curses since then, and I will fight until the last breath leaves my body. I am not afraid of pain or death."

Voldemort's eyes widened with pleasure and his grin terrified her more than his words. "Why would I torture and kill you, Kiana, when you have served me so well these past few months? No, it is only Potter I want dead. I know well how great your resistances are, but that can easily be overcome. You will obey every word of mine and feel each painful spasm your lover endures as you whisper the words of death into his ear."

Despite the tide of fear that left her weakened and vulnerable, Kiana stared directly into the Dark Lord's eyes and whispered, "Never."

Voldemort only smiled and raised his wand. Clutching her own tighter, Kiana prepared to duel when Voldemort unexpectedly thrust his wand downward and cried a spell in Harry's direction. Harry was thrown back onto the ground and screamed with such agony and misery that Kiana felt something in her soul break.

Snape's eyes rounded in horror, and he had just rushed forward when Voldemort took his opportunity. Kiana was momentarily weak and helpless when the Dark Lord plunged himself into her body, sending her flying backwards and landing painfully onto her back. She released her own cry of torture as Voldemort covered her mind and heart with his greed and hatred. She desperately tried to block out his voice and commands, but her attempts at overcoming his power were leaving her agonizingly weak. Defeated, she found herself rising to her feet, wand in hand, and staring pitilessly at the depleted boy at her feet.

_Kill him, _whispered the voice. _Make him suffer! Show him the full use of your power and let the world know who you are. Do it NOW!_

Harry Potter looked up at the girl he loved and saw the hatred pouring from her eyes. He could not contain the tears that spilled endlessly down his cheeks as he watched Kiana approach him with a raised wand. She was shaking from head to foot, and the tension in her face showed the pain she was in. Voldemort was spilling from her eyes, but Harry felt no fear as she lowered herself at his side. He only experienced remorse at his own helplessness and a suffocating fear that Kiana would let herself become completely possessed once she had murdered him.

She leaned down against his chest and carefully positioned her wand tip at his heart. Harry, about to break from misery and tears, peered up into his girlfriend's face and saw, deep beneath the anger and hate of Voldemort, the love and anguish of the girl he knew. She was still there, although hidden and weak from the torture Voldemort placed in her soul. He longed to bring her out, to let her see his face clearly with her own eyes…

"Kiana," he spoke, his voice soft and consoling. "Kiana, look at me."

She had responded to his voice. This was apparent from the way she convulsed and a flash of deep emotion appeared in her eyes. Voldemort responded with a surge of anger, causing Kiana to flinch and push her wand deeper into Harry's chest.

"_Are those your last words, Potter?_" jeered the snake that sprang from Kiana's mouth. "_Are you willing to waste your last breaths on a worthless girl who loved you only to kill you in the end?_"

Harry tuned out Voldemort's words as effortlessly as turning down the volume on a radio. He stared deeper into Kiana's eyes and spoke directly to her soul.

"Kiana…Kiana, please don't lose yourself in his grip. You are stronger than that. Remember what I told you only days before? 'Love will conquer all.' Remember."

The scene flashed through Kiana's mind, freezing everything else: Harry teaching her to fly, her collision with the tree, the way he had carefully mended her and stayed with her until she had awakened. And what had he given her in the Room of Requirement? Oh, yes…his gift of the silver bracelet with heartfelt words. The softness of his hands, the warmth of his lips, the sparkle of his eyes…that was the Harry she knew. The Harry who was lying beneath her now…

"_Fool!_" Voldemort cried through his victim. "_You cannot lure her out with weak words and long-forgotten memories. She is mine."_

Harry found himself smiling. "How can you be lost, Kiana, when we both found each other this year? I found myself in your arms, and you found yourself in mine…"

"_Enough! Death is the only thing you have left, Potter. And you will feel the agony of it for hours to come…MORTACIOUS!" _

She had cried the spell without knowing it. Her mind screamed at what she had done, and she watched helplessly as the spell flowed through her wand and out its tip…

The magic was streaking toward Harry's heart when the boy flew upward and latched his mouth onto hers. Frozen with shock, Kiana sat still as Harry kissed her and delicately laced his fingers through her hair. Voldemort, too, was motionless inside her as Harry worked his own magic within her body.

But the spell had been cast, and the flow of magic had reached Harry's heart. His body tightened and shuddered as the spell worked its way in, and instantly Voldemort detached himself from Kiana's soul. Kiana became fully aware of the boy falling to the ground underneath her, his hands clutching her own in pain as his eyelids fell…

"HARRY!"

Her scream echoed through the forest and across the lake. She clung onto him and held him tight, crying at him to hear her and respond. But Harry was leaving her, his grip lessening as his body became limp. He stared up into her eyes one final time, his own portraying the intense emotions in his heart. The pain was so overwhelming he could hardly speak, but Kiana caught the words he mouthed to her: __

_ "I love you."_

Kiana's tears soaked his face as his eyes closed and his body fell into the deep state of unconsciousness the spell guaranteed.

"Harry, don't leave me! Harry, come back! _Harry!_"

Someone was pulling her away from his body, but it was not Voldemort. The Dark Lord had disappeared, having finally accomplished his ultimate goal. Kiana barely realized that the forest had cleared except for her, Harry, and the person pulling her desperately from her lover's body.

She fought the stranger with every ounce of energy she possessed, but her strength was nothing in comparison. She found herself being carried away in the arms of the mystery wizard, and soon she passed out, but whether from a spell or her own heartache, she would never know.


	13. Against All Odds

Chapter Thirteen: Against All Odds

'Tis the most tender part of love, each other to forgive.

**John Sheffield**

He was everywhere. In her mind, heart, dreams, memories…Harry's presence penetrated her entire being. Even while awake she reached out to him, whispering his name. But his fingers did not interlace hers, and neither did his face appear through the mist constantly covering her world.

Kiana was lost to both time and space as she struggled to comprehend her abhorrent crime. She could not focus on the event for long, for the image of Harry's pain-filled eyes tortured her. She tried to tell herself that it had all been a dream, just a horrible, vivid nightmare that Voldemort had placed in her mind. But her body, covered in scrapes and cuts from the forest, spoke the truth like nothing else did. Spasms of pain shot up her spine every time she moved, which only made it easier to sink back into that place of nonexistence. Here she was not reminded of the truth and it was easy to hide.

But the outer world was calling to her, and every minute that passed made it harder and harder to resist. She feared opening her eyes, for she knew she was probably deep in the forest or another abominable haven Voldemort had picked out. She would be given no time to grieve her lover's death. More likely, she would have to destroy all remaining emotions and become a thoughtless machine who obeyed the Dark Lord's every command. She would probably be asked to destroy Michelle next, so she had to prepare herself for another death at her own hand.

However, when she had the strength to observe her true surroundings, Kiana was shocked to find herself in the Hospital Wing. Pale curtains had been pulled around her cot, and she perceived no sound from the world outside. Breathing deeply, she was about to leave her bed when Madam Pomfrey peeked her head through the curtain opening. The Healer did not smile when she noticed Kiana staring back, for she must have seen the emptiness of Kiana's eyes and the paleness of her face. Even without looking, Kiana knew how she appeared.

She was already dead.

"It is Christmas morning, Miss Karn." Madam Pomfrey spoke slowly and carefully, as if to an English language learner. "Hermione Granger requests that you join her in the Gryffindor Common Room. Wipe that fear from your face, girl; she is the only one there. The rest of the school has been assigned to Hogsmeade for the remainder of the day. Only the staff remain in the castle."

Kiana struggled to sort through the new information. How could the students be celebrating in Hogsmeade when Harry was dead and one of their own had killed him? Or had Dumbledore simply put them there for their own safety? For surely Voldemort was to fetch her soon…

"Where is Dumbledore?" Her voice was hoarse and cold.

Madam Pomfrey's face paled. "He and Professor Snape left the school late last night. They are not expected to return any time soon."

_So the coward took his accomplice and fled. I shouldn't have expected any better. They are too ashamed of themselves to even look at my face. Well, perhaps Voldemort will allow me the privilege of casting some well-chosen curses at those two fiends. It's their fault I turned out to be a murderer, after all._

As expected, her mind shifted back to the reason for the school's upheaval. She opened her mouth to speak but quickly shut it. No, it would do no good to ask about Harry. Pomfrey would probably lie to her, anyway. Why would anyone tell the murderer where their victim's body lies? The thought of her doing anything to Harry's empty shell created a shiver along her arms, but others probably expected nothing less from a heartless homicidal person such as herself.

_But if I could only see his face one last time…I want to see him resting peacefully. I want to know that his pain has finally ended. _

NO! She frantically shook her head of the thought. She had seen death before, and the memories were not comforting. The dead hold no resemblance to their living selves; this she had witnessed first-hand. It was better to remember Harry as the energetic, caring man she loved than replace those memories with the image of his pale, hard corpse.

The further she imagined his dead body, the weaker her defenses became. Tears stung her eyes and she pushed away the sheets covering her body. She hastily searched her robes and swore when she found all pockets empty. Where the hell was her wand?

Skilled now in the practice of wandless magic, she opened her left hand and screamed the words in her mind: _"Accio wand!"_ She relaxed slightly when her wand flew through the open curtain and around Madam Pomfrey, who muttered under her breath as the piece of wood narrowly missed her hip.

Kiana caught the wand and twirled it between her fingers, enjoying the sensation of power in her hand. She glanced up at Madam Pomfrey, hoping her own face was as serene as she wanted it to be. "When you see Dumbledore, please express to him my heart-felt thanks at the opportunity to serve him. I hope that the final result was akin to his wishes."

She loathed the sympathy that appeared on Pomfrey's face. Was the witch mentally ill? She deserved to be shown hatred and fear, not _sympathy_! Didn't the nurse know what she had done?!

Furious, Kiana slashed the opposite side of the curtain with her wand and rushed out of the Hall. She was heading toward the Main Entrance when she recalled Madam Pomfrey's first words: Hermione wanted to see her in the Gryffindor Common Room.

Kiana snorted. So the girl still wanted to exchange Christmas gifts, did she? Very well; she could cater to an ex-friend's final wish. Kiana would probably be met with a package of curses, but she was in the mood for a good duel.

But Hermione's wand was nowhere to be seen when Kiana spoke the Gryffindor password to the Fat Lady and crawled through the portrait hole. Instead, Kiana found the girl dressed impressively well and standing silently four feet from her, hands clasped behind her back. She was decked out in a scarlet cotton sweater and tan pants, with her normally frizzy hair smoothed out and tied back in a clever twist. She, like Madam Pomfrey, did not smile when Kiana entered but continued to stare impassively at her friend.

Kiana was shocked into a frozen state, having expected to find a girl overcome with sorrow and ready to collapse. Was Hermione in such a state of shock that she was willing to celebrate Christmas at Hogsmeade with everyone else? That would not be so unusual; every one dealt with grief in their own way. It was not fair to judge someone who had suffered a great loss.

And the only one who had known Harry better than Hermione was Ron.

Hermione inhaled deeply. "I'm going to Hogsmeade."

Kiana blinked a few times, struggling to comprehend. So she was right; the girl was in shock.

"Ron is already there; we're going to The Three Broomsticks. I would ask you to join us, but I don't think…"

"Why would you even _think _to ask me?" Kiana whispered, searching the Gryffindor's body for a tear, a clenched jaw, shaking hand, _anything _to tell her that Hermione still had the capability to feel. "I killed him, Hermione. I killed your best friend."

Still nothing. Even when Kiana spoke the truth aloud, Hermione stood stock still, unfazed by a word. Tension grew in Kiana's stomach, a sign she knew to precede tears. How ironic that the murderer was the only one visibly grieving.

"Yes, I know," Hermione murmured in response to Kiana's statement. "So I'm letting you sleep here for a few days. No one will return to this room or the castle until the holidays are over. You'll be safe here."

Kiana almost laughed at the strangeness of events. What a story this would make: the students of Hogwarts showing sympathy to the girl who had murdered The Chosen One. Voldemort would now reign over all of England because of her, but no one seemed to have gotten that far yet.

"So you haven't placed a venomous snake inside my bed?" Kiana jeered. "Or poured poison into my drink? I am not stupid enough to not expect some sort of threat on my life."

Hermione didn't reply to her words but grabbed her coat and headed around Kiana to the portrait hole. "The House Elves will bring you your meals here," she said, still in that soft, emotionless voice. "Feel free to use anything of mine you see; I have quite a few books you may be interested in. Otherwise, if nothing happens, I will see you after the holidays. Merry Christmas."

Hermione didn't wait for a reply before climbing through the hole and disappearing. Kiana stared at the empty spot with mingled shock and anger. What game was that girl playing? Did she expect Kiana to accept her generosity unconditionally?

Kiana rubbed her temples to lessen the ache in her head. It was all too much to soak in, but it did not matter. Soon Voldemort would realize where she was and come for her. What had he said to her last night? _"May your actions be betrayal or not, Karn, you are still a Death Eater and shall forever remain one. And this great act of yours will prove it to the world."_

Yes, there was no doubt what her future held. Now it was only the matter of accepting it.

With Voldemort's words spinning through her head, she laid herself down on the worn couch beside the fireplace. It was the same couch Harry had used so many times, and now it supported his killer. Harry's dazzling smile filled her mind as she drifted off, prepared to survive with her cold body and stone heart for the rest of her life.

*

Her growling stomach was the first to wake her. Her muscles ached as she pulled herself into a sitting position, but her body wasn't as fatigued as when she had awoken in the Hospital Wing. Leaning her head against the couch, she peered out the large paned window to discover how long she had slept.

The sun was almost covered under the horizon, and flairs of its dying light painted the sky hues of pink, orange, and purple. It couldn't be past seven, meaning the House Elves should arrive with her dinner any time soon. They had been obedient thus far, bringing her lunch of cabbage soup and bread at precisely noon. Kiana hoped they would continue their streak.

She was thankful, though, that Christmas was coming to a close. She had been tortured all day with the thought that she was spending her very first Christmas alone.

_But it won't be the last, _she had to remind herself. _I'll be spending every holiday until I die by myself or among the Death Eaters. Pretty soon I'll forget what day it is and I'll never have another Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, or birthday again…_

A soft voice outside the Fat Lady's portrait broke her from her thoughts. She sighed in relief, massaging her aching stomach. She took her wand from her pocket with the intent of summoning her food to the couch. She didn't want to waste her already low energy on a useless walk to the portrait hole and back. She frowned at the piece of wood in her hands, becoming reproachful of the magical item. It was because of magic's existence that her life had been destroyed. If Dumbledore had never sent her that letter from Hogwarts, if she had never convinced her mom to send her to this magical school, if she had never met Harry Potter…there were too many ifs. Dwelling upon them would do nothing but intensify her sorrow; it would never change the one unbearable, undeniable fact: Harry was gone forever.

A presence at the portrait hole brought her gaze away from the wand between her fingers. It had been there for awhile, but she had been so absorbed in her thoughts she had not noticed. She cautiously peered up to give a nod of thanks to the house-elf when…

Her wand dropped from her fingers. Her throat and chest constricted, making it difficult to breathe. She must not be completely awake yet; no wonder her vision was hazy. She had no idea her personal memories could produce such a vivid image.

For Harry Potter stood beside the fireplace, his hands resting in the pockets of his torn, filthy robes, and a small, almost teasing smile was on his dirt-stained face. Light from the open portrait hole surrounded his figure, creating an almost heavenly light.

"Harry…" She could hardly speak his name, her throat had tightened so. She was only aware of the quick rise and fall of her chest and the smile on the boy she loved. Why had he come to visit her so soon after his death? He should be as far away from her as possible; surely his hatred for her was fresh and deep. Or did the dead not experience such emotions?

His smile widened at her petrified features, but his eyes held the intense pity and compassion they had always possessed when he had been alive. The illusion of him was so real that she could make out every part of him. The cuts on his face were swollen and deep, she could clearly see the slash in his robes and skin from her curse, and the encrusted dirt on his robes had fallen, littering the carpet.

The more she studied him, the more intensely she felt her heart pound and her chest tighten. She was soon gasping for breath, unable to take in the sight before her…

"Merry Christmas, Kiana." His voice was soft, but it was there. It echoed through the room, bouncing off the walls and returning to her intact. The more she blinked, the more she breathed, the more certain she was that the boy in front of her was not an illusion or a ghost from her memories.

She could not stand the ache in her heart any longer. Standing, she cautiously crept toward the boy, but her head was spinning and she had difficulty walking straight. She slowly reached up her hand, fully prepared for Harry to disappear when she waved her fingers through his image.

Kiana cried out in shock when Harry reached his arm out and intertwined his fingers around hers. She felt the warmth of his flesh as his hand tightened, and she allowed her suppressed grief to rise up and blur her vision. All her strength died as she stared into the boy's eyes and realized fully, completely, that Harry Potter was standing in front of her…alive.

A strangled cry escaped her lips as she fell into his comforting arms. Every emotion and pain she had hidden from the world was multiplied as the reality of his existence became clearer. She screamed and wept long and hard against his chest, savoring the sensation of his arms around her and the kisses he bestowed upon her head. She did not draw back and peer up into his eyes until she knew she could cry no more.

Harry's smile had vanished as he looked down at her, holding her face between his hands and stroking her cheek with his thumb. Something was troubling him deeply; she saw it in his eyes and the tightness of his face.

"Harry, I…"

He hushed her, holding a finger to her lips. "Let me start. I realize what a shock this must be for you, but as soon as I got away I knew there was nowhere I wanted to be than with you. I didn't want to wait until Dumbledore talked to you."

Kiana thought her body couldn't produce any more tears, but she found her eyes watering as she listened to the pain in his voice. "How…how did this happen? I killed you! You were dead…"

He brushed the tears from her eyes. "I was close to death, Kiana, but if there's one thing I want you to understand, it is that you did _not _hurt me. No, wait…" She had opened her mouth to respond. "Don't say anything yet. I know you've believed for a long time that all this is your fault, but believe me when I say that you couldn't be more wrong. It is because of you that I'm standing here now; it's because of you that Voldemort wasn't able to kill me. It was he who cast the _mortacious_ spell, Kiana…not you. You've been helpless this entire time, regardless of what you might think. You were cursed longer and harder than I've ever been, and learning the truth from Dumbledore almost destroyed me."

Kiana swallowed hard. "I still don't understand."

Harry sighed, his gaze wandering to the world of night beyond the castle windows. His eyes glazed over as he recalled the horrendous events of the previous night. "Dumbledore knew of Voldemort's plan to destroy me ever since last summer. He was worried that he would succeed this time, because I was failing Occlumency and Voldemort was finding my weaknesses. But then you came, and Dumbledore easily perceived how we both felt about each other. He never wanted to put you through what he did, Kiana, but he had no choice."

Harry inhaled deeply, closing his eyes as tears glistened within them. "He allowed Voldemort to use you as his pawn to weaken and murder me. Voldemort thought that nothing could halt my death, but he, as you know, greatly underestimates the power of love." He smiled sadly down at her. "He did not realize that you would never completely yearn to murder me, no matter how hard he or another Death Eater fooled with your mind. Voldemort made you cast the curse, yes, but because of your resistance to the deed and your love for me, the spell was not as powerful as it should have been. It did not kill me, and I have you to thank for that."

Kiana did not feel as much relief as she should have at his words, for she still sensed a pain within Harry. A pain he was not disclosing to her.

She tried to lure it out of him. "You didn't die, but you still went unconscious. Where did you go, Harry? Who took you away, and why did it take you so long to come back to me?"

Harry read the fear in her eyes and held her closer to him, trying to comfort her with his warmth. "I would lie to you, but I know that would only anger you. Yes, I did go away for awhile, but I don't remember where. It was a place cold, dark and full of pain…so much pain." He squeezed his eyes shut as a tear fell from his eye. "But Dumbledore was there, as well as Snape. They somehow revived me, although it was a slow process. Only a few hours ago, I awoke in the woods. I was cold, hungry, and alone, but all I could think about was you and what had happened to you. So I ran back here, and I found Hermione on her way to Hogsmeade. She told me where you were."

_Poor Hermione, _Kiana thought. _Seeing Harry alive after hearing he was dead. That must have scared her out of her wits._

"But I did not come back to tell you my story." Harry pulled her away from him and looked deep into her eyes. Intense pain rose in Kiana's chest when she saw the agony and resentment on his face. She knew what he was thinking before he began talking.

"I came back to ask for your forgiveness." His voice broke as he reached for her left arm and pulled her sleeve back. He ran his fingers delicately over her Dark Mark, which glowed green at his touch. His jaw shook and he looked ready to scream as he studied Voldemort's sign with utmost revolution and horror. Kiana could see his thoughts as clearly as if she were practicing Legilimency: he felt that it was all his fault she had been branded with the Mark, and it was of his doing that his girlfriend had been tortured by Voldemort and Bellatrix simply because of Dumbledore's orders to save him. If it hadn't been for Voldemort's hatred for Harry, Kiana would never have suffered. Once again, the people he cared for were being hurt all because they loved him.

"Harry, please don't," she whispered, trying to pull herself from his grasp. Her arm was burning at his touch, but that was not what made her weep. It was the torture he was putting upon himself that created her sorrow, for it wasn't right for him to beat himself up over something he had no control over.

Harry only increased his hold the harder she tried to pull away. "Don't try to comfort me, Kiana, for everything you'll say will be a lie." His despondent tone tore at her heart like a knife. "I unfairly tried to guilt you into divulging your secret, and it only caused you more grief because you knew that telling me would kill both of us. Then when I saw your Mark…" He faltered and broke down, letting the tears wash down his cheeks like a flood. Kiana tried to let him cry against her, but he turned away, covering his face in his hands and falling against the brick wall. Kiana stood paralyzed a few feet away, afraid to touch him lest he lash out at her.

When he had regained some control over his tears, he turned back to her, face bright red and eyes swollen. "I will never forgive myself for increasing your pain, and neither should you offer forgiveness."

"Harry, you didn't know! Please don't torture yourself over your actions, because…"

"I should have gone to Dumbledore right away instead of hiding the truth!" he screamed, another cascade of tears falling. "I saw your scars, Kiana. The morning after you had been released from Dumbledore's office, while you were still asleep, I saw the marks on your back from Bellatrix's wand. But instead of going to Dumbledore like I should have, I tried to get the truth out of you! I had known something was wrong from the beginning, but instead I let myself believe that you had become a Death Eater willingly. I believed it even when I saw the pain in your eyes when I accused you of it. So _don't _say that nothing was my fault, Kiana, for I made nothing better for you. And all that time you were fighting to save my life!"

Kiana covered her mouth to stifle her sobs. She had never seen such desolation or inner hatred on someone's face before. She reached out her hand, begging him to see reason. "Harry, I understand how angry you are at yourself, but you're wrong when you say that you don't deserve forgiveness. Yes, I was hurt when you accused me of all those things, but I understood _why _you said what you did. All the evidence pointed against me! But I beg you to believe me when I say that I forgive you."

Harry's head snapped back toward her, and he frowned as if he hadn't heard her correctly.

"Yes, Harry; I said that I _forgive you_. You deserve all the forgiveness in the world because nothing was your fault. I allowed myself to become a Death Eater because I love you. Please stop believing all those lies you tell yourself, and hopefully one day you'll accept my forgiveness and learn to forgive yourself, as well."

Harry was still rigid, his chest rising and falling heavily, but the tension in his face had released. He studied her like he was seeing her in a new light. "But why would you forgive me when I've destroyed your life?" he asked, his voice softer and less harsh. "Voldemort isn't gone; he'll most likely come back for you and punish you for not finishing me off. You won't ever be free."

Kiana slowly approached him. "I _know_, Harry. I've thought about all the possibilities, but nothing is going to stop me from staying here with you. Voldemort knows the truth now; he knows about the love between us. But that shouldn't change how we act from this day on. We'll talk to Dumbledore and hopefully he'll have a plan for us both. Let's just focus on the present now and not think about tomorrow. It's Christmas, Harry. Let me spend Christmas with you like I always wanted to."

Harry's eyes scanned the holiday lights and overly-adorned Christmas tree by the fireplace, allowing her words to sink in. His lips slowly curved into a smile. "This did make for an eventful Christmas, didn't it?"

Kiana laughed, and it amazed her how good it felt. It banished all the tension from her body and pushed all thoughts of the future from her mind. "It sure did. Next Christmas will be a disappointment after all the action seen this year."

Harry opened his arms to her, and she rushed back into them. "I'm sorry," he murmured as he buried his face into her hair. "I didn't mean to lose my temper."

Kiana smiled. "I understand. Look, what's that?" She pointed up to the ceiling.

Harry laughed. "Look's like mistletoe. Does it mean the same thing in America as it does here?"  
Kiana inched her face closer to his, smiling mysteriously. "I don't know. What do the British do when they stand under the mistletoe with someone?"

Harry held her face in his hands and leaned forward to kiss her fully on the lips. Something warm and light passed through them both as they focused on nothing except the feel of their lover's body.

"Oi! Love birds!"

They broke apart and peered around to find Ron and Hermione standing behind them, both wearing exact opposite expressions. Hermione was glowing and had tears in her eyes, while Ron was frowning and tapping his foot in annoyance.

"Can you snog and walk at the same time?" Ron asked, hitting his watch with a stiff forefinger. "We're going to miss our dinner reservations at the Mermaid's Lure. You know, that expensive new restaurant in London that took us _three weeks _to get a good reservation?"

Hermione cast a scornful glance at Ron. "Do you know _nothing _of what they've been through? Honestly, Ronald, give them a few minutes."

Ron shrugged. "All I know is that I'm hungry, and if we miss our reservation time I owe Mum and Dad a heap of Galleons!"

Harry laughed at the annoyed look on both their faces. "Can we spend one holiday together where you two aren't bickering? But yes, we're coming now."

Kiana raised an eyebrow at the expectant look Harry passed her. "_We_? Excusez-moi, Mr. Potter, but I don't want to intrude on any event that you three have had planned for months. Besides, I probably look as hellish as Bellatrix right now. There's no way I'm going into London looking like I just got out of Azkaban!"

Harry smiled. "Have you looked in the mirror lately?"

Kiana frowned at him before turning toward the full-length mirror placed beside the fireplace. Her jaw dropped when she noticed a tall brunette girl staring back, a girl who looked the complete opposite of any Death Eater. Her hair had returned to its natural shade of brown and was pulled up into an exquisite bun. Her Goth make-up had been carefully replaced with light shades of pink and blue to complement her glittering blue dress, the hem rising a few centimeters above her knees. Black high heels completed her Christmas outfit.

Harry smirked at her awed expression. Kiana noticed that his outfit had changed, too. He now wore a rich suit of dark blue.

"Does that mean you're going now?" he asked.

"I…I…" Kiana stuttered, glancing from Ron to Hermione and back to Harry. "If it's okay with all of you. I don't want…"

"Oh, stop being so polite, Kiana." Hermione rolled her eyes and grabbed Kiana's hand, pulling her toward the portrait hole. "You're more than welcome to come. Besides, Harry will feel left out without a date."

Ron's face clouded with confusion. "But I don't have…" He blushed with realization when Hermione passed him one of her famous I-can't-believe-you-just-said-that look. It was apparent that Hermione had been planning on going with him for awhile, but Ron, not unlike himself, had forgotten their scheduled date.

Kiana turned toward Harry and grinned. "Well, I don't want Harry to be left alone, do I? Especially when I've been careful to keep him close thus far."

Harry took her hand and squeezed it. "And I hope you continue to do so. Oh, and I almost forgot…" He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a thin, silver bracelet. He took her wrist and carefully fastened the chain around it so that the words "_L'amour conquerra tous"_ were visible in the firelight.

"I left you once before," he said, staring deep into her eyes. "But I promise I'll never do it again. I will stay beside you forever, even if we both find ourselves under Voldemort's hold. And if you truly forgive me like you say, then will you accept this bracelet back and my promise?"

Kiana smiled up into his dazzling green eyes. "I accept it all, Harry, and I give you the same promise back times two."

Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove. Oh, no. It is an ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken.

- **William Shakespeare, Sonnet 116**

The End


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